And be happy

Dear wife!

I am writing you this letter to let you know that I'm leaving you forever. I was a good man and loving husband of seven years, and got nothing in return ...
The last two weeks have been particularly badly. The last straw was the call of your boss who said that you fired. Last week, you came home and did not even notice that I made a new cut, cooked your favorite meal for dinner and even put on a brand new silk panties. You ate in two minutes, reviewed all of its soap operas and immediately went to sleep. I have not heard you say that you love me; you do not want to do anything that unites husband and wife. Or are you dating someone else, or do you care about me. Whatever it was, I'm leaving.

Your ex-husband

P.S. And do not even try to find me. We are with your sister moved to West Virginia for all! Happily stay.

____________________________________________________

Dear ex-husband!
 
Long ago I was nothing so pleasing as your letter. Indeed, we have been married for seven years, although a good man to you oh how far. I watch soap operas to drown out your constant whining. However, the last time and it does not help. I notice your new haircut last week, but all I wanted to say - is "You look just like a woman!" As my mother taught me to speak only good or remain silent, I prefer the latter. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have me confused with my sister because I have seven years do not eat pork.
Speaking of new silk shorts: I turned because they still had a price tag of $ 49.99; probably just a coincidence that that morning my sister took me 50 bucks. Nevertheless, I still loved you, and I think that we can get along. So when I won the lottery 10 million dollars, I quit work and bought two tickets to Jamaica. But when he got home, I discovered that you left. Well, probably nothing happens for a reason.
I hope that you will be happy in a new life. My lawyer said that thanks to your letter, you can not pull me out of a penny. So good luck!

Your ex-wife, the rich and free!

P.S. I do not know if I told you that someday, but my sister Carla was at the birth of Charles ...
Have a nice day!