Backward parents teach sons that "girls can not hurt." Then we have to teach the girls that "boys can not refuse." For symmetry. The destructive potential of both the same phrases.
But jokes aside! We must be very blind not to notice the apparent degeneration of women in our society. And only a 3 phrases needed for this process to continue to mow our ranks in the next generations.
We sit with my friend in a cafe, and after talking about the affairs of talking about children, we have the boys.
- I have long realized that it is difficult to raise a real man, when a guy does not see examples of male behavior.
- What do you consider an example of masculine behavior?
- Well, I tell him that the girls can not hurt ...
- A boy can? And the dogs? And the old ladies? You understand that such phrases you guarantee my son problems in adult life?
We have not had on this subject holivara, we're old-fashioned talking, but not the Internet. Besides, my friend is quite adequate to such an important issue as the education of men, after all, to listen to the man.
Incidentally, I have long noticed that women, describing the ideal man in a vacuum, lead a certain list of wording. But if complicate the experiment and move the focus to her son, the wording changed. Let's just say from the consumer to the universal. For example, there is the word "free».
So, I think there are 3 phrases that with regular repetition will make a man out of a boy problem, if not limp rag.
1. You can not hurt the girls.
This neat phrase puts boys in a subordinate position, and the girls give indulgence to life manipulation. Girls hear because these settings, they are aware of their existence, and, of course, used. Since then, the girl understood the man is a weak spot, it is enough at any time to portray the offense to cause the boy's guilt. Women's grievances, so men are unpredictable, but not because we are thick-skinned and they are mysterious. Not at all. Most women's grievances do not arise when we did really hurt, and when it should be a girl. That's all unpredictable.
The boys hide their resentment and the girls show. Just boys do not learn to derive benefit from the offense. Women's tears - so do nuclear bomb, there is a know everything. We plotted nothing wrong and did not do anything wrong; or have not plotted; or contemplated good, but not guessed, and then - bam! - We have bad, then it has to be corrected. Tears will dry very quickly, and will ring.
And all this simply because the installation "can not hurt the girls" is too general and vague to really serve the education and formation of conscious life values. Man can not learn to act in its own interests if it is to look back: but if it does not offend their actions some woman in a radius of 50 meters? Some always hurt, infa 146 percent.
Any man finds in his history when he acted to the detriment of their interests, so as not to offend a certain woman. This is called "freedom"? If we can not even predict what exactly she would be offended. You can not impose on the person responsible for the feelings of others. "Insult" - in this series.
Let me explain: it is necessary to say specifically, that means "to offend." For example, "you can not beat the girls, if they do not beat you," and the meaning of the verb "to offend" is specified, and does not extend to all the hypothetical set of actions. Or "can not deliberately point out flaws that a person can not fix." This is for older children, yes. And by the way, we notice that these rules do not only apply to the girls? So they are correct.
And then the guy will increase from normal adequate response to explicit manipulation by guilt: "Do you want to suffer - it's your choice. You is not satisfied - let's discuss. " While the presumption of innocence will be in the demolition, but not so much that you are guilty just because she has her eyes on a wet place.
Well, purely for symmetry. Someday you heard that parents strictly because the girl said: "You can not hurt the boys?" Hardly. So can you! Normal society?
2. The girls have to concede.
In the same cafe with my friend this during our conversation, we watched this scene together. We see a couple with children. Dad says so authoritatively: "Go wash your hands!". Boy and girl 6 years, 8 years old race rush to the bathroom. Before the door of the girl, the envy of the NHL, the boy's thigh board, and the boy flies on. Then, back to the door and was inside the fuss, both returned to the table.
- Mother father! He pushed! Girls also have to give in!
- Yes, it is necessary to give the girls! Did you get up!
The guy tears in his eyes: he suffered from a physical development sisters, and he is still guilty. And you can not admit that he is weak and can not cry, because "not a real man." Children at this stage are just children, and the whole strategy of their lives laid parents in similar situations. Parents, like robots, mumbled learned phrase, not penetrating into the situation.
That boy grew up, confident that "girls have to give in." What exactly is to give - in a trolley or a profitable project at work? And everything and then, and more. And now he is all of a gentleman, girls concede, comes home, and what he hears? What did he goof and a loser. And he is to blame? He is so head off to loving parents laid. And I tell him that he is a loser, and the Loch - it does not hurt? Insult, but you can hurt the boys.
It may seem that I exaggerate. No, not concentrated. This is the basic value system, they are not looking at our minds: what a literally laid his parents as a child, then explode when the time comes. It then can be corrected, sometimes, over the years, if you're lucky, some. But before returning to normal, it will take years, and then the pendulum will swing in the opposite direction. And the girls get.
Girls like gentlemen. But the age of the gentlemen coincided with the age of the lady, and the lady did not participate in the business and not compete with men. In general, all this highly romanticized view of life a narrow stratum of society for a long time and a lie.
The true gentlemanly - the result of free and conscious choice, not hammered in the head habit. Besides, if it is to send boys gentlemanly attitudes in the world of predators both sexes, life will be beautiful, but short-lived. Gentlemen die first. Although, in general, why not give way to the lady in the subway? The main thing - not to extend the rule to all areas of life indiscriminately. It is possible to love and respect a certain number of women, while not trying to give them constantly in vital matters.
3. Good for you, good boy.
To me it seems obvious that a person reproduces the behavior that is encouraged. Encourage your beauty? Get beauty. Encourage intelligence - get intelligence. Encourages obedience? Get obedience. Encourages independence? Get autonomy. However, just obedient man in the economy will come in handy. Yeah, especially if you have in mind a naughty lover, free and strong man.
Why do good girls like bullies? Freedom, independence, readiness to establish and defend their rights, the power of the spirit. Well, or something like. Correct me if I'm wrong.
What makes a good boy? They live with their mothers, for example. Because 1) the mother would be offended if he goes to live separately. And my mother - the main woman in his life, and the girls can not hurt. 2) Mother is asking, but "the girls have to give in." 3) How to disobey my mother?
Such men despised women really lofty goal and a very difficult situation, it without irony. For all its difficulties and its way of overcoming. Do you think that such a man shit, and you're done? Your personal achievement which is that you have a man so different parents, and they have brought up differently?
I live on my own since I was 17, but I understand that this is, first of all, not mine, but the merit of my mom, all my childhood I firmly: "Think with your head." I do not remember that I was praised for obedience.
What I want to say in general?
Blooms misogyny - is, in my view, the reverse movement of the pendulum after zhenopokloneniya. This is the result when a parent presented specific requirements for the boys. Those grown up and realized that the world is different, that they are doing their part of the contract, but did not receive the award. And the main thing: no one seems to blame. Parents do not condemn. And there is nothing to blame the parents - to do as best they could. And accuses all women en masse. This is silly and not constructive, like any extreme. But parents are paying for the mistakes children.
And, yes, even the men, sometimes they drink. When multiple value systems contradict each other. It is my personal opinion that one of the causes of male alcoholism - an attempt to reduce the weight of some plants than others, as in an unmodified state of mind for this particular person selection is possible. Vodka kapnet on one scale, and it is easier to choose a course of action.
Of course, I can not provide a complete list of what you can not talk to boys. But really it is. Can such phrases educate male responsibility of a free personality, ability to make decisions? Hardly. And if the decision does not take a man, it will take a woman, and not in his interest.
It so happened that in a short time I heard these three phrases. They are probably the most common, in which blurred the meaning unequivocally harmful to the psyche of the future men. While many women are comfortable. If it's not about your son.
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