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Act I

Office Night Watch. In a darkened room at the table sits Gesar. In front of him on the table - a thick book in worn gray-green cover. Included Gorodetsky.

Gorodetsky. Gesar, what the hell! I have time, in the sense of the night ended ...
Gesar. You sit down, sit down ... pour coffee?
Waves his hand - and on the table there is a cup of coffee.
Gorodetsky. With sugar?
Gesar. With sugar, sugar. And chocolate!
Once again, waves his hand - there is chocolate.
Gorodetsky (swallowing saliva). Well, let's. (Sits down at the table.) And then we have these vampires choked-choked ... Quite exhausted, honestly.
Geser.Pey Pei. (Throwing a sad look at the book and pushes her away.) That is, by the way, just finished studying the latest report from England by fellow ... It is sad, very sad. I have to intervene.
Gorodetsky. What dark naughty? Or Merlin resurrected?
Gesar (suspiciously). Wait, do not you read it?
Gorodetsky (offended). And you might think, so you tell me a secret report and give a read!
Gesar (shaking his head). Yes, I underestimated your ... inattention. Yes, it is available on every corner lies!
Gorodetsky. uh ...
Gesar. As far as I know, Olga you this a hundred years ago told. But again you missed all pass. Only for you, and only in connection with your new job - to explain again. So, life in England magicians and wizards flows in a somewhat different way. How - you learn from this book.
For our colleagues from Albion is widely believed it his duty to inform the public, including non-magical, about the life of witches and wizards. Of course, some figuratively. Thus, they kill several birds with one stone: to observe (ugh!) Democratic principles, seek and initiate young magicians and to maintain contacts with foreign colleagues. But Ms. Rowling - their current PR Manager.
Gorodetsky. What a damn Rowling? What manager?
Gesar. Yes ... the trouble. Gorodetsky, are you even a movie about Harry Potter never looked?
Gorodetsky. Nope.
Gesar. Well, the book and read it, and see a movie - and as soon as possible. This you will need in the near future.
Gorodetsky. Again in England to go? But what about their patrols there?
Gesar. No there are no patrols! They, you see, democratic system! Everyone is equal, no one is controlled, based on the magical community awareness and social responsibility of everyone!
And there are no unnecessary bureaucratic structures. Count up, that's ugly ... I think we wasted so many years kept the Iron Curtain?
Gorodetsky. Yes ... And in Edinburgh?
Gesar. What's in Edinburgh? But Edinburgh has two hundred years we have rented. Barter - in exchange for Bobruisk, Kryzhopol and Urjupinsk. By the way, it is necessary to find out what they're forgotten ... Well, that later turn. And since they have no patrols there. One in all the Ministry of Magic, and then won (nods at a book lying on the table) completely degraded.
Gorodetsky (with horror in his voice). No patrols? Ministry of Magic ??? (Suddenly, wincing, changes the subject.) So, and the Iron Curtain, so - you too?
Gesar. Well, what do you think, dear? In this country, without me nothing has ever been done. However, this, too, later. What do you think, why I called you?
Gorodetsky (grim voice). As usual, most unpleasant news to report ...
Gesar. Well, something like that. You expect great things!
Gorodetsky (choking coffee). Opya-yat?
Gesar (mimicking Gorodetsky). Opya-amb! Himself mangled wood itself and clean you will!
Gorodetsky. What kind of wood?
Gesar. What-what? Who in Edinburgh all these ghouls disincarnates even think chohom with senior colleagues without talking? I decided that the smartest? The strongest? Well, listen: disembodied like not all. There were comrades who exist on the sixth layer was fine - and most importantly, they believed that so much better than nothing. Some of the most intelligent and strong, have taken steps in advance in case you will be ... here is such an enthusiast like you.
Gorodetsky. Well, what kind of animal is that?
Gesar. Ancient black magician, known under the name descendants Koshchey Immortal. What are you lybishsya?
Gorodetsky (laughing). And Baba Yaga was not there?
Gesar (affectionately). You're a fool, Gorodetsky, oh, you fool! Merlin met - I suppose not lybilsya? A Koschey - so it's funny! Incidentally, I would prefer to Merlin resurrected. With it even matter could have, after all, once he was bright. A Koschey - is the embodiment of evil, also virtually immortal.
The door opens into the room softly, like a cat, comes Zebulun
Gesar. You as always on time!
Zebulun. Oh, hello, dear! How did you doing?
Gesar (grimly). Things like white carbon black, Dark!
Zebulun. Dear, well you know yourself, it is only, so to speak, a position I have dark, and the essence of light, goodness, justice. Well I for world peace throat enemy peregryzu (licked) happy!
Gorodetsky. Gesar, what the hell are you comedy break?
Zebulun. So-so, and the young man did not seem to know? Again we use the boy in the dark?
Gesar. Yes, what a difference in the f ... - in the dark, in the light ... And then, again you cringe - I'll just do it to explain to the end did not.
Zebulun. Yes Yes. So you keep going, and I'll listen.
Gesar. Well, let's continue. So, where were we? Bag of Bones gathered around him a lot of dead magicians, and some time before the death of the body merged their identity with their essences, strung them all on their vechnostalnuyu needle using some powerful magic of the original, we have, alas, unknown.
The flow of world power, which rushed to the sixth layer of yours, Anton, diligence, could not resist this magic. I guess Koschey not disembodiment, and, moreover, was able to escape to the seventh level through the hole through which the sixth layer did disembodied stream.
As a result, vechnostalnaya needle was ejected in the seventh layer, and it stuck in the body of some unknown magician is ... well, now it does not matter, whatever his name was. It is important that in such a way Koschey got a new body, and now we have a lot of problems.
Gorodetsky. Hmm. But I still do not understand - what's the problem? Well, Koschey, well, needle - well, we can not cope with it?
Gesar. Failed. This is the strongest - hear me - the strongest magician! I've figured - minus the first level. Nobody alive today, he can not handle. And he, incidentally, is now going to ...
Gorodetsky (dull voice interrupting Gesar). To destroy the whole world.
Zebulun. Very funny, but Anton ... you guessed it.
Gesar. Exactly, so the irony is not relevant. Koschey collects hitherto unseen army of dark dzhidzheev armed with light and music magic swords. When Gigi pulls out his sword, he begins to sing, and the song mows all sentient beings around, because no mind - even mine - is not able to sustain this song.
What I do not know - so, as usual, will improvise. But to do that it is necessary, the English themselves can not cope. His best light they have recently (makes sad pause) lost, the strongest
Dark they seem completely mad (strictly looks at Zebulun - he throws up his hands), a boy little hope, the level of his wrong, and most importantly - the world always and everywhere saved only Russian. So now all of our patrols join forces to fight a common enemy!
Zebulun. Did so.
Gorodetsky. I have a few questions. The first question - that your Koschey - he had absolutely immortal?
Gesar. Well, absolutely - absolutely not ... Well I told you - the ancient magicians - assholes rare. The force of habit is more important reason. So our Koschey pulled out his new body vechnostalnuyu needle placed in her own death, and the needle had hidden somewhere in the vastness of the great Albion ... And it's not you haystack, and oak on the sea-okiyane. So now again Koschey virtually immortal. Until we find a needle. Whatever you say, the Horcrux - a serious thing!
Gorodetsky. Krechto?
Zebulun. Gorodetsky, you read Harry Potter?
Gorodetsky. What are you to me with this Harry Potter attached? I do not read it, and I will not read, I do not like comics!
Gesar. And here it is - the snobbery!
Zebulun. Gesar, my dear, since you Affect the boy somehow. Your education, after all. And then to go into the British policy of not reading the state of things as something ugly.
Gesar. Yes, I have read it, read it all. I Svetlana, if anything, call.
(He turns to Gorodetsky.) And you do not act immediately! Order - and Dontsovu will read like a nice little.
Zebulun (Gesar). Speaking of England ... You had time to think about my suggestion on how to learn from the experience of colleagues from England?
Gesar. I would not like, but it seems to have. Our pros. Who was against those already on a business trip in Bobruisk. Indeed, we have painfully confusing, to say, bureaucratic management structure! It's time to rebuild ... But that's who should be the Minister of Magic, Zebulun one, do not you think?
Gorodetsky. What the hell, Minister for Magic ?!
Zebulun and Gesar (chorus). Gorodetsky, Go read Harry Potter!
Gorodetsky. Yes I am, yes I .... Yes, I did ... then get out of your watch from!
It runs from the room, slamming the door.
Zebulun. So you're just a young man and did not tell ... All the dark, light? Well, the darkness with you, your boy, even eat porridge. My future is now our ministry is much more concerned.
Gesar. You do not seem to hear my question?
Zebulun. And you, I suppose, the minister want to be?
Gesar (mocking tone). No, I dream to give this honorable post of you!
Zebulun. Well, maybe not damn it. I propose to divide responsibilities. You'll alter ego Day Minister of Magic, I - Night. Or vice versa - I FSUs ...
Gesar. Suitable. But the ministry will be based in St. Petersburg.
Zebulun. With a fright?
Gesar. With this! In the first place, you know who like it - because we meet with him soon, remember? And secondly, light soon in Moscow will not be able to breathe, so are you stronghold of the Dark Essence ponastavili. I warn you - this uymi his vampire unfinished!
Zebulun. You mean Zurabchika, or what? So after he said - all good! From the ordinary people of his monsters pumped dark energy, good - good once it becomes easier to live. And we, the dark, under the statue of Peter the night - and the month can not drink blood. There are emanations negative accumulate - Yum! And now they have suddenly ceased to please you?
Gesar. Good Thing. And if some of these freaks drive explode? My estimate - the level of denial is over a maximum permissible values! And as you have already ponastavili, eh?
Zebulun. Well, do not blow the same now ... You know, they podkovyrnesh - damage will be greater than that of the hydrogen bomb. However, in St. Petersburg, as in St. Petersburg. So even easier. And there Kitezh-grad from the water finally podymem, the school will open, as in England, to such here literate (nods at the door), not the fruit. Devils that - history does not know does not read books, Koshchey not afraid ...
Gesar (dreamily). Students will have to wear blue dresses, short those with gold belts, students - blue trousers, and all - the mantle of sky-blue with stars. Here, look, I've jotted down fasonchik ... (Both leaning over the table.)
The door opens back Gorodetsky. Senior companions look up from the table, smiling affably.
Zebulun. Come on, come on the road, you will again guest
Gesar. Yeah, Anton, stop hysterical. Now is not the time for tantrums.
Gorodetsky. Yes, both of you go! I want to ask, can I nedoslyshal then: why I will improvise?
Gesar. Well, who else? Firstly, if you mess brewed in Edinburgh - you and clear up the mess. Secondly, we have the people stood on both the patrol left: we Zebulun, Olga Semyon you. The rest of the general words are not good. Guide as you know, is excluded. Olga woman besides my mistress. So you are left alone.
Gorodetsky. Semyon ?! And why not Simon?
Zebulun. But because Simon was reading Harry Potter, and you're not. And in general, Simon travels to Bobruisk.
Gesar. And that was it working better, I'll pick a partner. (Reaches into the cupboard.)
Gorodetsky. What, again? Gesar, I am now, incidentally, married man.
Gesar (getting out of the closet). Then take Vasya.
He throws on the floor something like a lace, which in the eyes begins to grow, swell, and finally turns into a thick, golden brown snake.
Gorodetsky (Ochumelov looking at lace). Well, thank you, dear comrade Cesar! Oh, thanks! Fie on you all!
It runs from the room. Snake crawling on him.
Zebulun. What is he you still nervous. How it will work with the British - I'll never know.
Gesar (gently). As usual. After ass ... But he always carries. So, where were we?

End of the first act.

To be continued.



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