Another tearjerker about digestive problems ... =))

In short, this is my story ... about the middle of October 2004. Just two weeks ago, he met with the most beautiful girl in the world (about history dating only tell her permission; everyone says that it is "Destiny").
 The second time, went to meet her at the University, it is next to my dorm. Incidentally, the "door of her uni to her house 1:00."
 And before that, I have eaten pasta ... my neighbor did not eat them, said: "These transparent helix of DNA I am not going!".
 Indeed, they reminded me of a cross between a transparent roundworm worm ... and God knows what. But I strongly wanted to eat or ate all the pasta, fun and went to meet his future favorite!
 Met ... came together to the subway (Konkovo), but suddenly she urgently wanted to go 2 station and go to the big shopping center - all sorts of trinkets to look at. When we made a detour to numerous shops I was sharply plohet ... abdominal storm began!
 I could not stand, I squatted and sat waiting for 20 minutes During this time, the storm gradually evolved into an intergalactic war, and I broke down and went to the toilet.
 Have you ever had loudly for all to hear, piss ass? Everything went very smoothly - I was even beam. And now, with a smile on his face, we have gone further. But after 5 minutes WAR!
 Impossible! Rush hour! Ride the subway more half an hour, and I so wanted to "piss ass" that pale, curled, then I turned green, blush ... but lost like a real man! By the way, all the time (except for the bathroom) my girl saw my metamorphosis.
 Every minute I felt worse and worse. By the end of the trip I began to brazenly fart - so, like, it became easier. And Che do?
 We arrived prior to the first, and I quickly carried her to the house and ran! Of course, it would be better to ask for it in the toilet, there vysratsya properly and with peace of mind to go home. But we are hardly knew, I knew her really bad. I could literally obgadit love begins!
 In general, ran ... I honestly thought that the faster I run, the faster I find myself at home, and the sooner I get rid of impurities are in my gut. I did not realize that when I run, stomach and all its contents begins agitated, ie pressure on my poor sphincter (knowledgeable people understand what I mean) increases!
 Hardly I reached the subway run to aunt at the turnstiles, asking toilet, but she sent me - just the type for the staff! With the words "Fuck you!" I could not resist ... so ... much liquid as ...
 Time 7pm, a lot of people, I have a light blue jeans, through which could be seen everywhere! Tin! It is spread out on his feet, numb in sneakers, stuck all ... I immediately ran out to the street, so the reaction of people I did not get to see. And two hours went just walked. Fortunately was- already dark - no one saw my brown jeans.
 In general, to nine in the evening I was almost "dry" rather tightly prisoh and decided to go home. To the girl of course, I did not go. People were a little - Perovo near the terminal station. I huddled in the best area, and the floor of the road within a radius of 10 meters around me there was no one (I wonder why?). vNo when I moved to a branch (it was much lively), I was immediately hooked two guys. I feel sorry for them was ...
 My body what he had done in Perovo, was not enough, and he struggled initial indignant. In short, in Cheryomushki I shot out of the subway, quickly found some bushes and even tougher fucked! Stomach calmed down and I quietly went home.
 Most strashnoё awaited me at the entrance to my hostel. This is a student dormitory. There is always a lot of people. There sluhi.A through the smoking room without greeting anyone, just because not pass! To my surprise, I quickly went through the smoking room, went upstairs, and now had to talk with neighbors. Half an hour of laughter I endured, and even he laughed.
 Now it is with a smile on his face I remember, but then I was not joking. On the other hand, who can boast that obosrany passed through Moscow ???
 I'm proud of it and tell everybody!

Sent nikitos86