Several life stories Bashny.Net

It just so happened that a few days ago at my cousin Anastasia had a birthday. Tellingly, in roughly the same time a year ago. And even two, in my opinion. That's what persistence! So, the event is clearly the case, ignore was no way. Motley crowd we got to the cottage, a cousin had brought her dog - a Labrador named Altair, and a few of his pals, buddies. Here I must say that Altair is fed only dry food psyachim, where some of his troubles in it - otherwise it may happen indigestion or there, for example, wool glossy lose if he does not what to skharchit. These are the pies are fried ... we generally mount skewers of pork, sit. We drink but eat all the honor for the honor.
 And now, at the time of the utterance is already well on the account and as razdnuyuschih toast one slice kebab falls out of the hands of the speaker and flies to the floor. To him (the meat, not to toast) immediately flies Altair.
 In many suburban areas around the cry is heard loud Asi:
 - The cattle plyushivaya! Hold it! Keep! He can not roast pork! Stop the infection !!!
 At this time, one of the guests was zakemarivshih unstuck glazёnki drunk sobers and Ofigevshy voice says:
 - Dog-Muslim ... P # zdets !!!

© ALUCARD

***

Otppavila me tyt once wife to the store for lemons. Hy gpipp, you know. And she said - kypi kpypnyh, but not rotten, as usual. I went to the Hy lotky with lemons, pepebipayu. All kpivye, rotten, thick-skinned. Smotpit endpoint of eyes sp.pava another tray, and there dpygoy myzhik shypydit lemons.
A y it kpypnye lemons, ripe, delicious. Hy dymayu, myzhik yydёt right now - I sp.pava instantly nabepy lemons. So, for the kind of pepebipayu fpykt, and he squinted at myzhikovy pyky I glance - zhdy when he finally will take that and roll away emy necessary. And he, the cattle, and all kovypyaetsya kovypyaetsya. I waited five minute digits - and it does not npavyatsya emy, and this, though lemons y it, as podbop.
 Hy I'm not vydepzhal - povopachivayus to nemy to say that I have about it dymayu and sp.pava ... zepkalo.
 That's what people are up to chyzhogo dobpa greedy)))

***

I'm standing at the crossroads, waiting for the green.
 Near bus stops from those first forty years rolled on Germany, then another thirty of Bulgaria, then ten years standing at the dump, and finally got to us; we are considered among the upper class minibuses.
 A traffic light is long. Open the front door of the bus - apparently, someone persuaded cage, I decided to go closer.
 This fact says some people on the sidewalk, having estimated the distance to stop breaking amble across the road to the bus.
 Moment - and the person at the door and jumping inside.
 Next - interesting. After half a second out of the door at a speed close to the Fast and Furious MiG-31 crashes that same guy ass, and her and her happy owner himself, which is notorious ass and falls in the middle of the carriageway, two meters away from the bus. His face swells luxury blanche.
 With Matyuk he jumps and jumps back into the door. It took less time than the last time, and again flew ass, pulling for a host who again sat down at her severely. Under the second eye - the second check.
 The bus leaves the cabinet navrode terminator, spits on his hands, coming to the man, enough that for shkimok and belt bends in the position "a la Lobster" and is rolled savory podsrachnik in the long-suffering ass, in which not just the aforementioned ass, and many times to remember are the owner of the bus.
 - Do not you see - I'm out, I used *! - Burch closet.
 Doors are closing. The green light ...