What not to do when someone you love

Love fades or even leaving the house in which she betrayed, she dies when someone intentionally hurt her with his brutality or indifference, when one of the lovers is in the grip of addictions, when real housing and financial problems create a situation of "love boat has crashed about life. " There are others that are well known to you "pitfalls", the existence of which you have already heard. Well, if you can send your "ship" at the rate of ...
One for two, but each has its own

About her not only "composed many songs," she devoted to poetry, novels, philosophical treatises, even scientific research undertaken in its chemical composition. Although there are thousands of maxims about love, every person is able to give their own interpretation of this miracle. And in those cases where it brings together two of her favorites, each of them has its own understanding of love, a truth about love.
In matters of the heart, much depends on how one defines love and what is waiting for her. This definition is directly related to self-esteem of the individual. The higher self-esteem, the less the need for small, specific evidence that you love. The lower self-esteem, the more dependent on the constant tokens, are mistakenly mixed with notions of love. True love does not tie anyone's hands and feet and no one will not accept bonds. The independence of each is worthy of respect. Love - the feeling of freedom in the world: in love no one ever owed nothing to anybody. This, if you like, and have for centuries sought formula of love. At the same time we must not forget that the reverent, gentle sense of courtship married in blossom when both understand the need for daily care of love. In each pair of the three components of love: I, you, we. Each lives its own life, each creates the conditions for another, and none of the parts is not dominant. I create the conditions for you, you - for me, and together we will create the conditions for each other.
How would your fiancé or defined love, consider the fact that by offering you my hand and heart, he, like you, too, wants to somehow enrich your life, fill it with new meaning and joy. Such strange people who deliberately go to the altar, to make yourself miserable, simply does not exist. You, as every woman, hoping for the best, expect that you will be always loved, plan, that after a while you have children, a certain status, material wealth ... He must be aware that you are dreaming about a man who will love, respect and appreciate only you, treat you, so that you will feel full of female happiness. To have your ideas about love turned out to be true, and dreams of happiness come true, you know that love - "special" capricious and delicate feelings, needs greater attention and does not allow any violence on themselves. Do not comfort themselves with the illusion that because you love each other, everything else will sort itself out. Love much, but it is not omnipotent and immortal.

What kills love in marriage

You meet when it's convenient for both. Your relationships are such that there is always time for communication and intimacy. Each believes that the other more important to him of all people in the world, and it is for a loved one - man number "one". Begin life together, and immediately all the senses undergo the most dramatic trials. "Suddenly," you will learn that a loved one has parents, friends, responsibilities at work, personal affection and enthusiasm. Of course, you had heard about their existence, but now all of life wife of communication updated and begin to pick up most of his attention. Oh, how difficult it is to accept the fact that you are not the center of the universe, as it was just recently! What to do? For you it is - it is the whole world, and thank you for it - part of the world, and outside the family he has interests. Probably, it would be necessary to think about what he is going through the same discomfort. But its always painful sore. Begin the first quarrel. "What did not you say that you work more me! And I had no idea you were so attached to his mom! .. "- Something like a quarrel fastened to any young family. They are inevitable, natural, and does not worry them as a tragedy. But when arguments become the norm explanation of the relationship, there is a threat to the existence of love in the house.

A kind of blackmail

In a relationship with a man he can not impose such requirements which alone love is not able to perform, "If you love me, you will do nothing without me; If you love me, you will do what I ask; If you love me, you give me what I want; If you love me, you'll know what I want before I ask you about it ... "Such manipulation conditions, if they are to formulate more openly, sound like blackmail:" In order to feel good, to feel loved, I need your understanding, your acceptance, your time, etc. You must constantly demonstrate that you live only for me ».
The idea of ​​an ideal
The romantic ideal of worship - not for family life, although we almost always, if not deify lover, be sure to idealize his image. Immediately discard the naive and unrealistic notions of a loved one. After all, you do not consider yourself to be perfect in all respects, a sinless person. Then realize that your destiny, you are not tied to the ideal, but a real person, with all its advantages and disadvantages. People rarely reach perfection in their thoughts and deeds, but only a few deliberately misbehave, not as they want around. Everyone has the right to stupidity, error, bad for someone traits. The realization that a spouse - an ordinary man, the same as you, should not be a cause for serious disappointment.

The myth of sameness

Family implies complete similarity of its creators - it is a misconception that a cause for disunity creates difficulties and problems. You - a woman, he is - a man, you - "Owl", he - "early bird" you - a vegetarian, it is - a foodie, you - the student, it is - an engineer, you - a theater, it is - a football fan ... your ideas about family life boiled down to the idea: "How Mom and Dad," his - "God forbid, her parents!". You want to become a full-fledged mistress of the house, it is the role for a long time "looked after" for themselves. You planned in the first place to equip your room, it is - buy a car ... no two exactly the same people who have achieved absolute synchronicity in everything, even in cases when they are very similar. Between you will always have plenty of differences in tastes, in dreams, hobbies, views on the world. And long live the difference! What a dull and gray life would be like if you suddenly become the same!

Plan re

One of the women before the wedding suggests: "We get married, and under my influence, he will change," someone in the marriage plans of re-starts the spouse to find in it some negative qualities. And almost all of us in the early days of living together are trying by all means anything "remake" in the beloved. In addition, each of us have heard a thousand times that this is a typical error, because an adult can not be changed. Dreams re-spouse does not usually carried out. Everyday teachings, comments, "read morality" will make everyday life unbearable for both. The man himself must give up the idea: "I will die, but will not change," he has to stand on its own feet. Nobody can afford a long drag on the other, are not exhausted, and not injuring the person he drags, or yourself. So first of all acquire self-confidence, develop a quality such as tolerance towards people, and look for new opportunities and improve their own growth.

Pros and cons of love

Yes, love is wonderful, miraculous, and it only gives unlimited opportunities to get full satisfaction and a real pleasure to each other. Love guarantee us the most powerful experiences. True, what? - Unknown. Love - a feeling, and feelings are selfish and changeable. Love can not be measured, there is no accurate predictions, it will develop, or continue to be held. She is strong and the weak, the eternal and the short, happy and unhappy ... But it has been and is: "love" and "family" - these two words have always stood and will stand by.
One love is not able to satisfy all the demands of life imposed on the person. We are just as necessary intellectual development of new knowledge and experience, professional achievements, moral satisfaction from communicating with his family, colleagues and friends. In addition, we are constantly interferes with objectively existing in the life of a paradox: love strengthens family, love destroys the family. When you are in captivity passionate love when you love slave, then you already like and do not own a - love over you. It makes you act according to its own laws: give fate in the hands of another, to perceive the tragic quarrel with him, suffering in separation, etc. The risk of losing a loved one leads to painful experiences, stimulates negative emotions, provokes the emergence of jealousy and unconscious actions.
Turn comprehensive, unbridled passion with the name Love in a wonderful sense of calm, giving less anxiety and more joy and happiness, help time and mind. Of course, only the joint efforts of the creators of a family united by genuine feeling, bring success. To save the love, to rise above the troubles encountered on the way, the difficulties, frustrations, have to worry about it. It is like a seed, which managed to raise sprouts and stem above the ground. How much patience, labor, light and heat need to stalk turned into a strong tree of family happiness!


See also


Subscribe to our groups in social networks!

New and interesting