Family therapist Mira Kirshenbaum (Mira Kirshenbaum), director of the Institute for Research and psychotherapeutic Chestnut Hill (Chestnut Hill Institute) in Boston, Massachusetts, US, believes that change can be useful for family life. According to her, for some spouses affair could become "a defibrillator, which winds stop the heart of their family».
Positive moment of betrayal is that it is a way to shake up people to withdraw from inertia, to show that you need to change something in your life that does not satisfy you, says Mira Kirshenbaum. Their point of view, it sets out in a new book, the next self-help guide, titled "When decent people change» («When Good People Have Affairs»). First of all, this manual is designed for those people who suffer from self-betrayal. They suffer feelings of guilt and shame that emotionally paralyzes them while you can consider having an affair on the side as a radical but necessary medical procedure, said the therapist.
At the same time the World Kirschenbaum does not recommend to confess what he had done in the second half, even if asked about it directly. According to her family life - it is the only area where the truth can cause much more damage than a lie. If you change the people want to be honest with your partner, it just might be put to him in the future.
Statistics show that in Europe 40% of couples do not consider it a betrayal of the reason for the gap, and in Russia sever relations up to 50% of those who learned about the change of his companion. And men forgive betrayal to a lesser degree than women.