7 things that prevent you from taking better care of yourself

Imagine the paradox of a modern man: he is able to build a spaceship, but can not afford to go to a masseuse. He may run a marathon but is afraid to admit he is tired. It seems logical to take care of the only body we have, but for some reason many men treat themselves worse than their car.


In this article, we will discuss the seven main barriers that stand between you and taking good care of yourself. And no, it’s not about starting a manicure (though why not). It’s about deeper things – how cultural stereotypes and inner beliefs turn a person’s most natural need into a source of inner conflict.

1. Identifying self-care with femininity

Somewhere in the depths of the collective unconscious, there is the idea that concern for appearance and health is exclusively a female prerogative. It was as if nature had granted women a patent for moisturizer and men a patent for ignoring the basic needs of the body.

A study by the American Psychological Association found that men are 2.5 times less likely to turn to mental health professionals for fear of appearing “unmasculine.”


This attitude is particularly absurd when you consider that the most successful men in history – from Roman emperors to modern CEOs – have always paid attention to their physical appearance and condition. Julius Caesar, for example, was known for his attention to grooming, and modern athletes spend millions on recovery and body care.

Start small: try a face moisturizer or go for a professional haircut in a good barbershop. It doesn’t make you less masculine, it shows you’re confident enough not to follow stupid stereotypes.


2. “If it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t work.”



This mindset has turned an entire generation of men into masochists who confuse self-torture with productivity. “No pain, no gain” is a motto that has migrated from the gym to offices, relationships, and in general all his life.

The problem is that the human body is not an iron that can be tempered with endless stress. On the contrary, constant overstrain leads to burnout, chronic diseases and premature aging.

76%
Men experience chronic stress at work

40%
ignore symptoms of fatigue

3x
More often suffer from cardiovascular diseases



Science versus myth

Neurobiological studies show that chronic stress literally reduces the volume of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and self-control. In other words, by “tolerating” and “overcoming,” you don’t become stronger—you become stupider.

Rethink the concept of power: Real power is the ability to recognize your limits and work with them, not against them. It’s like in martial arts: the master is not the one who can withstand more blows, but the one who knows how to avoid them.


3. The desire for independence, out of control

“A real man does it himself” is a phrase that has killed more men than all wars combined. Okay, this may be an exaggeration, but the suicide statistics among men make one wonder at the cost of such “independence.”

The mentality of the fortress turns a man into a lonely knight who fights dragons all alone, forgetting that even Arthur had a team of Knights of the Round Table.

The paradox is that the more you refuse help, the weaker you become. It's like trying to lift a barbell with one hand when you can use both.


Biological basis of social support

Evolutionarily, we survived because of our ability to cooperate. The hormone oxytocin, which is released during social interaction, doesn’t just make us happier – it literally prolongs life by strengthening the immune system and reducing stress levels.

Change strategy

1. Identify an area of life where you can take help.
2. Find someone you trust.
3. Ask for a small favor, start small.
4. Watch how it affects your health.

4. The habit of seeing the body as an instrument

Many men treat their body like a car: refueled, started, went. Broken - in the service, and until then - endure and go on. The body is not a machine that can be replaced with a new model.

This mechanistic thinking is particularly dangerous in an age when we spend more time in virtual space than in physical space. The body becomes simply a “carrier” for the brain, and its signals become an annoying hindrance to achieving goals.



Interoception: Lost Art

Interoception—the ability to sense the body’s internal cues—is the foundation of emotional regulation and decision-making. Studies show that people with better interoception are more resilient to stress and make smarter decisions.

Practice body awareness: Spend 5 minutes a day just listening to your body. Where do you feel the tension? Where's the relaxation? It's not esoteric -- it's neuroscience in action.


5. Constant rivalry

If life is a game, then many men are stuck in survival mode, where every workout is a battle, every meal is a competition, and every day is a new opportunity to prove their superiority.

This race never ends because there is no finish line. There is always someone who is faster, stronger, more successful. In the end, you are not living, you are constantly preparing for a life that never begins.

Competition can be a motivator, but when it becomes the sole engine, you turn into a hamster in a wheel - a lot of movement, no progress.


Psychology of flow against ego

Psychologist Mihai Csikszentmihalyi has discovered that the state of flow – when we are completely absorbed in activity – does not arise in competition with others, but in harmony with ourselves. In this state, productivity increases and stress decreases.

6. Delaying self-care in favor of a career

“I’ll be successful first, then I’ll be healthy” is as vicious as “I’ll be rich first, then I’ll be happy.” By the time you are “successful,” you may have nothing to worry about.

The modern culture of productivity has turned men into robots that measure their value by the number of hours worked and the size of their wages. But what good is money if you don’t have the strength and health to enjoy it?

60%
Men work more than 50 hours a week

45%
skip regular checkups



Health economics

Health care is not an expense, but an investment with the highest returns. Research shows that every dollar spent on prevention saves $3 to $4 on treatment. And losses from burnout and illness can negate years of career achievement.

Integrating care into work schedules

1. Block time for training as an important meeting
2. Use the tomato technique with physical breaks
3. Replace part of working meetings with “walking” meetings
4. Invest in a quality workplace (chair, table, lighting)

7. The belief that asking for help is a failure

In male culture, asking for help is often seen as an admission of defeat. It's like you're supposed to be a superhero who can handle everything alone. But even superheroes work as a team - look at The Avengers.

This attitude is particularly toxic in matters of mental health. Many men would rather silently suffer from depression or anxiety than seek counseling because “real men don’t cry.”

Rethinking power: Recognizing a problem and asking for help is not weakness, but wisdom. This is the ability to use all available resources to achieve a goal, not heroic self-torture.


The neurobiology of shame

Shame activates the same brain areas as physical pain. Not surprisingly, many people prefer to endure real pain rather than feel ashamed of asking for help. Shame is an emotion based on irrational beliefs, not reality.

The path to conscious self-care

Here are seven major obstacles to taking care of yourself. Now the question is, what do we do about it? The answer is not to become a different person overnight, but to start asking the right questions.

Taking care of yourself is neither a luxury nor a weakness. This is a basic requirement to be effective in any area of life.


Start simple: Next time you feel tired, don’t ignore it. When you want to ask for help, ask. When your body signals discomfort, listen. It will not make you weak, it will make you human.

Remember, you are not a car that needs to be operated before it breaks down. You are a complex biological system that needs maintenance, care and attention. And most importantly, you deserve to be cared for simply because you exist.

Glossary of terms
interoception The ability to perceive internal body signals (hunger, thirst, fatigue, heartbeat). The basis of emotional regulation and decision-making.


Oxytocin A hormone produced by the hypothalamus known as the attachment hormone. Promotes social connection, reduces stress and strengthens immunity.


Prefrontal cortex The area of the brain responsible for executive functions: planning, decision-making, self-control and working memory.


Flow status Psychological state of complete absorption in activity, characterized by maximum concentration and high productivity.


Fortress mentality Psychological attitude to absolute independence and refusal of external assistance, often leading to social isolation.


Chronic stress - a prolonged state of stress of the body, leading to the depletion of adaptive resources and the development of various diseases.


Emotional regulation The ability to manage one’s emotional states, including their recognition, understanding, and adequate expression.