Why Men Stay In Relationships With Women They Stop Loving

The title of John Gray’s book is “Men from Mars, Women from Venus.” And that metaphor explains a lot when it comes to relationships. No one argues that men and women see the world differently. And they look differently at the breakdown of a relationship that may have lasted for years. But what to do if the gap never happens? Relationships have lost all spark, understanding and care have gone, only the heaviness of being with each other remains. But the man never leaves. Why is that? What a loving man says is as clear as day. But the excuses of a man who remains in a relationship without love are very different. Today we will talk about some of them.



Unsplash Undoubtedly, separation is a great stress for both sexes. But psychologists note one feature: from bad relationships go into a new life more often than women. While men remain with an unloved partner or spouse, even if it is a burden. And that's why.

What a loving man says and what someone who doesn’t love says, happy families are happy the same way, and unhappy families are all for different reasons. If a man feels comfortable in a relationship, he will be caring first. He may not say "I love you" directly 10 times a day, as some women want. But he'll ask if you forgot your keys. Are you dressed warm? Should I pick you up? What a loving man says is always about caring. Even better, he doesn’t talk, but he does. It is not difficult to define a man in a happy relationship, because everything he does is for the common good.

It is also important that a man makes compliments in the direction of appearance. There is a saying that men love with their eyes. At the same time, it is not necessary that his chosen one is a top model. But it is very important that he likes it physically and aesthetically. And, be sure, a loving man will emphasize this. However, with non-loving things are much more complicated.



Unsplash Love does not die immediately, it happens gradually. And if a woman who feels absolutely nothing for her partner is happy to find another... in men, it is not. Many representatives of the stronger sex will not move from their native place and will continue to share the living space. Others will go left, but will return to his wife. Why is that?

Our brain is arranged in an amazing way: a person always strives for peace and constancy. He wants to surround himself with home, everyday life, familiar things. It helps us relax. Now the slogan “Get out of the comfort zone!” is very popular, because, in fact, stress and challenges of fate make you change for the better. But in the end, we all want peace.

Remarkably, the biggest stress is not even the world outside of its comfortable bubble. The fear of leaving him. After all, as soon as a person goes beyond comfort, he begins to act. But until that point, nothing is more painful than not wanting to leave your cocoon. Scary. Unknown. Scary!



What a loving man says: the fear of loneliness is not just to burn bridges to immediately face yourself. Fall asleep in an empty bed, wake up alone, have breakfast, lunch and dinner alone. Particular sadness catches up time after the end of the working day or weekend. You see, family life is very organized, there is always something to do. You can watch a movie, go for a walk, go for kebabs or to friends. Housework is always enough. Of course, all this can be done alone. But do you agree that such impressions are pleasant to share with a loved one?

The most frightening thing is the realization that it may not be so interesting with yourself. Especially after many years of marriage, when a person’s personality adjusts to the family and partner. In silence, many people face their true self. And this meeting is not always pleasant and long-awaited. Old resentments, fears, disappointments, unrealized potential are waking up. In general, depression is developing at full speed.



An interesting situation occurs in couples where a woman is a star! She is beautiful and successful and charismatic. And yet not his dream woman. He no longer sees her charm, he is tired of perfection, and all because, perhaps, he suits a completely different type. He may even feel insignificant compared to such a magnificent lady. But he can't, he won't.

The mere thought of someone else getting such a beauty leads him to despair. Someone else will be better than him, better suited to him! With such thoughts, a man remains near an unloved woman. And a woman, to be honest, withers without love and, most likely, sooner or later will end such a relationship.



Unsplash Back to the Dating World It's one thing to dive into love pleasures when you're 20. And it's quite different after marriage and a serious relationship, somewhere in their 30s, 40s or even 50s. After all, it is not easy: find some charm in yourself, ask for a date, start over without any guarantee that everything will work out. After all, I want someone to cook pancakes at home, babysit children. These things are not done the first time (or very rarely). In addition, with age, self-doubt and fear of rejection appear.

When partners are loved by both families, their relationship is not so easy to break. The game includes all available mechanisms to preserve family ties. Unless, of course, there are open conflicts. However, many men are afraid to end the relationship because they do not know what to say to relatives. And women, frankly, too. It is not easy to separate when everyone is like a family.



Unsplash Children and Divorce Of course, the first cause is children. But starting with it would be banal, because in a healthy relationship, both parents make such decisions to stay happy. This is the only way children can see healthy behavior. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In most cases, partners decide to stay together just for the sake of the children. As a result, children grow up in a family model where mom doesn’t love dad and dad doesn’t love mom. Nothing good comes of it, usually.

Pathological fear of change There are people who are afraid to change. They are ready to study in an unloved profession and work in a terrible job. But they will never want to renew their status or their relationship. It’s no secret that breaking up (especially divorce) is stressful. Many people are simply afraid of something new. Not necessarily bad, but completely new. Such people do not usually make decisions in their lives, they pass this responsibility on to others. Accordingly, they cannot leave the relationship on their own, staying near an unloved person is not able to make a decisive step.



What a loving man says: Beautiful picture An unpopular but serious problem for those couples who have created a perfect image. She's the perfect lover, he's the perfect man! But if you look closer at their union, it becomes obvious that something is wrong. Social networks are full of beautiful photos, on the walls of family portraits, acquaintances and relatives put them as an example. It's hard enough to break this carefully crafted illusion that took years. Sometimes such a relationship takes a huge amount of money. For a man, this is status and respect from others, and he is simply not ready to sacrifice it for his own happiness.



The reasons are different, and the result is the same: a sad man sitting on the couch with a TV remote. Somewhere in the kitchen, his equally sad and irritated woman looms. Perhaps, somewhere in the same room, their children play, who never learn what a healthy relationship is. But there's always a way. Psychologists say that if a man does not want to leave, then the relationship can still be returned, you can and should work on it. At the very least, finish them. What do you think?