Building their future lives and the lives of their children, people try to achieve success by promoting themselves at work, in sports or in the arts. But sometimes we are so distracted by some individual moments that we do not notice how we abstract from the most important thing – from our relatives and friends.
Values of family lifeOf course, everyone has their own. But the main thing is what binds us together. A sense of community, kinship and affection.
How many cases do we know when parents, engaged in a career, did not pay attention to their children. They grew up as hooligans and parasites. Or vice versa, wanting to “mold” a son or daughter something special, a professional athlete or ballerina, broke their lives. Making those useless adults, completely without the skills to survive in modern realities. Roughly speaking, the golden mean rule works always and everywhere. You just need to understand and accept it in time.
Remember the tale of one diligent and kind girl who had a stepmother and two half sisters? She was still trying to get to the prince's ball, and they wanted to stop her? So, my husband seems to me to be the main character of this whole story. Yes, Misha, my husband is a real Cinderella. But don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of him. His mother has a worse attitude towards him than his pet. Very sad, actually.
Let me tell you a little about what I know about your family. Michael really has two sisters, though, relatives, not half-sisters. And in childhood, three of them were raised according to the following principle: the mother is engaged in the upbringing of daughters, and the father is raising a son. In general, it is not my rule to climb into someone else's monastery. So, good or bad in theory, I can't say. But what happened in practice is another matter altogether.
My mother-in-law, Evelina Pavlovna, by profession a teacher. Teacher of foreign languages. I must admit, very good, because at one time I managed to break out of the framework of a teacher and a tutor on a part-time basis. She also encouraged her daughters to learn foreign languages. And, as is often characteristic of people of her profession, she did it harshly and with pressure. The husband told how his sisters spent nights poring over textbooks. Undernourished and lack of sleep, being in constant stress. What did that lead to?
The youngest daughter, who is more wayward, found herself a boyfriend from a European country and married him. Very quickly and despite the protests of his mother. I left my home country and now I don’t even want to write to one of my relatives. Even Misha, though they never had any conflict with him. Personally, I believe that she simply has such bad associations with her own relatives that her psyche naturally does not accept any more contact with her. I think I would have done the same thing in her place.
The older sister, less ambitious, listened to her mother. But when she, after the death of her husband, got a job as an interpreter, she could not repeat her success. She also went abroad, but still does not work by profession. An ordinary servant, however, in a very pretentious hotel. Imagine sitting in a room in Italy, and they come to clean your room. You might think first, an ordinary woman, maybe even a local woman. And she begins to address you in five different languages and several other dialects. That's fate.
On the other hand, my deceased father-in-law was a simple man. Worked in furniture manufacturing. And he decided to teach his son the same thing. But do not confuse furniture and carpenters. 21st century. Misha, after graduation, learned the necessary and relevant profession of CNC machine tool operator. For those who do not know: modern wood carving is not done manually, but on the latest, powerful machines using different, even the smallest, drills. The result is very subtle work. But for all this you need to be a rare specialist.
Thanks to my father-in-law, the profession of my husband feeds our family to this day and even more, is still very popular. The world is on the path of total automation. Thank goodness my husband learned and became a specialist before his father’s heart could stand it. Otherwise, I don't even know what fate his own mother would have prepared for him. Which, by the way, by that time and became the personal translator of one influential businessman. I think I'd just give up on my son and stop thinking about him. That's what she's really like.
During the years that she was abroad, Evelina Pavlovna managed to earn herself good money. It’s no secret that she is currently building her own house. Why would she? The question is very complex. After all, she is already old, although with her health everything is fine. She seems to have been drinking juices from her family like a vampire all her life. And now she has no problems with health at all.
My mother-in-law doesn't talk to one daughter. The other one doesn't want to know. And they're far from home. Who do you talk to? Right with the only son. Well, we all do. I wouldn’t call this relationship communication. She loves her dog more than her own son. And he's not even trying to hide it. She has her own approach to me and our daughter - her father-in-law just pretends we don't exist. He doesn't even look in the eye.
And what’s even sadder about this story is that Misha doesn’t seem to notice the elephant in the china shop. After the departure of his father, Evelina Petrovna is a real deity for him. Nothing can prevent him from believing in this god. And the whims of my mother-in-law, it's just enough. I keep waiting for her to declare herself queen. Or the Empress. Most often, it is the construction of her house. All of her workers, in one way or another, are friends or colleagues of my husband. So the cones are flying not at them, but at him. It's the same story about pay. The discount percentage is just horseback. I'm afraid to think, but I wouldn't be surprised if Misha pays them extra from our own budget.
Otherwise, the spouse exists for his own mother in the role of “bring-pod”. Small favors, things like that. A couple of times she came to us, so even her granddaughter did not bring any toy or other gift. On the last day of her husband's birth, she brought a wall lamp. Broken. Needless to say, it was her own home purchase, which the store refused to accept back. And Misha was very grateful to her for that. Rounded the lamp, in three layers, bubble film and carefully carried to the balcony. After my mother-in-law left. Said it would be useful for the future. Perhaps in the future people will be able to repair factory marriage on their own, I don’t know.
It is a shame that I do not know what to do next and how to let my husband know that I am not satisfied with this relationship. For me, the value of family life is not in this! This woman will have to endure for a long time. I can clearly see that the body will serve her for many years. Maybe you should also consider a family move? It's not normal for me to see my husband for hours a day. And it's not some mistress stealing it from me, which would be at least not so absurd. And his own, gall and stale mother!