A couple of hours before the holiday dinner, my husband called and gave me the news that made my legs shatter.

Psychologists have seen this look in their clients hundreds of times. A look of despair and hopelessness.Husband left what to do next? And every time there was a story behind that dumb question. It doesn’t matter if the family has money or not. They lived long or just got married. A similar situation could arise even in a flourishing marriage filled with love and childish laughter. But once in a while...



It is not surprising that the Internet is full of stories on this topic. People are ready to hear advice from anyone, as long as he somehow helped. What advice is there, you can just listen. Psychologists, in turn, say: the main thing is to suffer at first. Step away from the shock and take a sober look at things. Then it will be easier and easier to understand the situation or at least find out its causes.

When you are young and not afraid of the future, you sometimes act lightly and quite impulsively. Don’t think about the consequences, especially in your personal life. You act like your youth will last forever. This is not the beginning of a boring lecture on how not to behave. It's just my thoughts out loud. Especially since I have experience. I'm over fifty.

My husband and I raised two children who were already separated from their families. The son moved to another city, and the daughter stayed here, doing work at home and raising her granddaughter. Overall, I could say I lived my life the way I wanted to. If not for one thing that probably took away more than one year of my life.



At the beginning of winter, my husband had a birthday. I always prepare for this holiday with special care: the dishes on the table should be the way he likes: plenty of meat, fish, foam and all that. Manly, high-calorie, delicious food. It's not that he makes me do that, but I've known his tastes over the years.

In the morning he had some business, and we agreed to hold a solemn part in the evening. The children also needed time to come. All in all, a long wait and a lot of work. I like such troubles, because I know that after them we will all get together and celebrate properly, have a good time together. That's what matters!

But that day was different. My husband called and in a drunken voice said we needed to talk. He usually did not follow this, but, apparently, did not restrain himself, got hung up and decided to remember some old insults? Turns out it's a lot more serious.



Her name was Zhenya, a former colleague of Mishin. 10 years younger than me, blonde, dyed. We met several times at receptions, and I did not even pay attention to her, although my husband spoke of her in the most laudatory words. Then she and a dozen others were fired, and I even forgot about her existence. My husband probably isn't.

And, considering that he decided to confess everything on his anniversary, and even a couple of hours before the family gathering, it was much more serious than an ordinary affair. Although for me, the affair would be critical. What to do, I opened the bottle bitter, drank a glass in a volley and, without waiting for the effect, called the children, canceled all plans for the evening. I didn’t have the details, but nobody really came.

The next day we met with Michael. He came alone, with a new haircut and a light in his eyes. He said he had no complaints about me, but he fell in love with another and could do nothing about it. He leaves the apartment to me, but takes the car. He's already taken some of the money, so he doesn't need anything else. Well, our children are already adults, so any alimony will be perceived by him as nothing more than a joke.



And left. There was not even a farewell scene. I was still in shock, so I just nodded silently. And he must have wanted to figure it out, so he left as soon as he came. No further words.

The son immediately sided with his father, as he felt that at our age it was time to start thinking only about himself, without looking back on children or family responsibilities. My daughter, thank you, took my side. In general, all our mutual friends supported me and even tried to help. But what kind of help did I need? The finances are fine, and the kids are helping. More than that, what else do I need?

Month after month, life went on, the next birthday of Michael I did not celebrate fundamentally. Not even the kids. Dad probably had a son, but I couldn't do anything about it. We didn't talk about it, and what would it change? Life goes on.



And three days ago, he called me himself. Said he wanted to come, but he was afraid I'd make a scene and kick him out. Anyway, he wants to go back. His romance ended in nothing, they did not fit each other. Couldn't hide or whatever, the details don't interest me, but I think you get the point. He will not crawl on his knees, but he asks for forgiveness and wants to talk about everything personally.

And so I think. What do I do? You can just say no and no one will tell me. Inner satisfaction and a sense of justice are very pleasing. In addition, I realized that financially I no longer need a man. On the other hand, we both know each other. Raised children, lived a life. But he made a mistake.



Should I throw everything away and burn bridges? Or forgive the scoundrel the first time, so that the second time was bad? There is a choice, but I don’t know how to use it. I don’t want to ask the kids, I know what they’ll say. Having a new relationship doesn’t bother me either. Here's the situation, ambiguous. I manage my own life, but I can’t decide which way. It's really hard.