How to live with an unbelieving spouse

From the point of view of faith and the Church, the real life of an Orthodox Christian implies daily and uncompromising work on oneself. This is necessary for the complete eradication of sin in oneself: laziness, hypocrisy, malice, greed and other things. To live this way is possible only with the active participation of the church, which implies a visit to the temple, and communion, and daily prayer.



In modern secular life, not everyone lives so much, and the church canon itself has become softer. Often you can find families in which one spouse believes, and the other lives without regard to tradition. Could they be hurt in that case? family? Editorial "Site" She tried to find out what the priests advise when one of the spouses is an unbeliever, and how the Church orders him to act.



Let’s take the example of letters in which believers often talk about how they build life with their favorite agnostics. One way or another, we are all human, problems and disagreements always arise. So can there be a happy family in which one is churched and the other is not?



Letters and answers

1. Stanislav, 40, manager
   “I go to church, but sometimes I miss it. There are some declines, I struggle with laziness, or worries piled up. You have to show your willpower, and I'm not very good at it. The family is a wife and two children, he does not go to church with me. The wife and baptism took with battle, says, not her. It's hard when I fast. She says, I can't give up meat, and I'm not stopping you from fasting. But when the pan is hissing, it can be difficult to hold on. My family is used to me going to church, but our way of life is not Orthodox. My wife smokes and drinks champagne. But her character is strong, purposeful, if only she would turn to faith! I can't force her, she has an opinion on everything. It can be scandalous. And then when I cool down, I realize, I regret it. How can we bring harmony to our lives? ?
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. The priest's response
   “Stanislav himself admits that it is lazy for him to go to the temple. How was it in the old days? If a Christian has not taken communion for several weeks, he has been excommunicated; if you do not want communion with the Lord, then you are not a Christian. Man thinks he is self-sufficient and God exists somewhere on the periphery. That's certainly not true. Stanislav’s attitude as a priest does not satisfy me at all. This looks like childishness, so the Christianization of the family must begin with yourself. Learn to restrain anger, extinguish conflicts with peace and love, to be an example for your “strong” wife, to show Christian integrity. To fast, to pray, to visit the temple, is to show that he is a real strong-willed man, and not a grass shaken by the slightest breath of wind.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Natalia, 32, housewife
   “A man does not drink, a good family, he works, loves children, the principles are also close to Christian, but character, of course, is not sugar. I am not perfect, but I want peace and warmth in my family. But instead, there's tension, nitpicking, figuring out relationships. That I go to church, it happens, and all together we go, with children. But sometimes I stay home, I feel like it's better for my family. It makes you feel empty. It is difficult to raise children in a “half” family, but I believe that this is a test for me. Otherwise, how could I handle my selfishness? But if I understand everything, what will happen to him? Is he a trainer for my soul? I have learned to humble myself, after any quarrel I forgive him, but I do not know what he takes for himself: he learns or revels in his rightness. I pray that the Lord will take care of everything.”
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. The priest's response
   “History is quite common when the wife believes and the husband does not. It affects him that Natalia wants to observe the canon, is angry, and she chose the right tactics: not to impose anything on anyone and not to complicate her life. It will bear fruit. Natalia should not be discouraged, because our whole life is a confrontation with failures. The Lord will support us in the rest, the main thing is not to give up. As for the "trainer" for the soul. Indeed, by harming herself, her husband gives her soul a chance to heal. But remember this: spouses are not a struggle for survival, where one is strong and the other weak, but respectful coexistence of loving people. Do not avoid conversations with your husband, do not hide your religion, find a convenient moment for this. Faith is not something to be concealed or shy of.”
   
   
   
   
   
   

Let us remember love more often and be more tolerant and kind. To love is not to see only oneself, but also another. The other, even in the first place. The advice is as follows:
Dear believers! Do not put the rite above love, its law must be first. For the sake of the one with whom fate is tied, you need to make concessions, will this not show everyone your Orthodoxy?
Dear unbelievers! Respect the inner peace of your soulmates and do not suppress the desire to be closer to God. Marriage is not a battlefield to defend your ambitions.



“Love never ceases, though prophecies cease, tongues cease, and knowledge ceases.” This is what the Bible says, telling us all that love... family-base. So take care of each other, respect each other and hope for the best together. Be sure to wait for your comments on our page, and do not forget to share this article with others.