Why does the mother-in-law require a duplicate of the keys to our new apartment and whether she should give them

Relatives are good. It's good to have them in moderation. It is even better if there are boundaries between you and them. Otherwise, family relations risk heating up and lead to quarrels, conflicts and other joys of life. Now I'm going to tell you a story about how a duplicate of the keys to the apartment led a police squad to our new apartment and me to a nervous breakdown. And all because of family ties.



New apartment Elizaveta Grigorievna, my dearest mother-in-law, before the events described, did not particularly aspire to our house with her husband. That's because we were living in my lonesome. The territory was mine, not her son's, so she didn't claim frequent visits. She came to visit only by invitation. And that suited me.



However, everything changed when we decided to take a mortgage. My lone girl will go to rent to the tenants, and the income from it will partially pay the contributions. The plan is great, but the mother-in-law was replaced. No sooner had we settled in a new place than she began begging for the keys to a new apartment.

My mother-in-law’s key: When will you give me your key?

- What do you want, Elizaveta Grigorievna?

- This is my son's apartment. I can come whenever I want.

- It's not his, it's our apartment, I reminded her as softly as possible, and the conversation suddenly changed direction.



I tried to ignore my mother-in-law's requests. "It will calm down over time," I thought. But that changed when we got a call from security.

When we bought the apartment, it was already with an alarm. We re-issued the contract from the previous owners, but did not even tell anyone about it. On a beautiful autumn afternoon, my husband and I went on business in another part of town. Suddenly they call me and say that they entered the apartment, but the system was not turned off. I said it wasn't us. And we didn't give the keys to anyone.



Unknown guest And while we were rushing home, the apartment was already full of clothes. And you know who's inside? Elizaveta Grigorievna. It turned out that somehow she managed to soften her husband and he gave her a duplicate of the keys to the apartment. He did not expect such behavior from his mother, so he did not think about the importance of privacy.



There was no limit to my anger. I immediately took away the keys and forbade my mother-in-law to come to our house at all. Tears. When her husband asked her what she was doing here at all, Elizaveta Grigorievna said that since she had devoted her whole life to him, everything was his and hers.

- So, honey, I told my husband when my mother-in-law left our apartment. I was still very angry with him for giving me the keys. Either you solve this problem with your mother, or I'll go to my place and you'll stay with her.



My husband didn’t even have an answer. It's like he's still in shock. I must admit that I myself was in a lot of shock. The mother-in-law had not been revealed before.

Is it reasonable to give duplicate apartment keys to relatives? Is it necessary to set boundaries with relatives in advance to avoid their violations?