Mikhail Labkovsky ponders whether you can fall in love with a married man or a married woman Bashny.Net

The only person who can make you happy is yourself. It is unfair to place such responsibility on parents, relatives or spouses. Happy relationships in marriage, based only on mutual love, do not live long, love passes, irritation and dissatisfaction with their position appear. Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky always said that any unpleasant relationship should end and not compromise. Because compromise is harmful. Only relationships without love are 60% of families.

Do these relationships have the right to exist and why do people not try to find a new couple if they are unhappy in their marriage? Women often find reasons: they tolerate bad behavior of their husband because of their children, do not file for divorce because it is shameful and parents will not understand. But happiness has no right or wrong side. Every couple is unique, some people get married for good, and marriage is a bargain. Such relationships are often even stronger than love marriages.



People think that falling in love while married is wrong, as well as falling in love with a married man or someone who is the absolute opposite. Mikhail Labkovsky distinguishes between the concepts of “love” and “falling in love”: “Falling in love, we really do not control, but relationships are completely our choice.” Whether to date someone else’s husband, whether to cheat on your beloved wife or file for divorce are decisions that a person can make with his head and not some other place.



The image of the person we fall in love with is in our head. This image we invented, but the person we fall in love with can actually be very different from our fantasies. Therefore, after a few years, love marriages begin to disintegrate: we cannot stand the fact that the real person, whom we have given invented qualities, is different from them.



A strong and long relationship is not only love and endless bliss. Nate Bagley, author of the blog and podcast The Loveumentary, is sure that your happiness should be built, marriage will not always be a sweet candy: Marriage reveals our weaknesses, shows how intolerant a person can be to his partner, to whom he is strongly attached. It becomes more difficult to cope with stress, not to swear when you come home hungry.

Family life is a joint experience, tragedies, financial difficulties, different worldview, raising children, loss of parents and other family members, loss of work. You can’t go through this together and be as in love as you were at the beginning of your relationship, says Nate.



A person who falls in love with a married man or a married woman somehow compensates for the lack of positive emotions in marriage with a spouse. A young mistress increases self-esteem and a lover knows how to listen, but this does not mean that you should immediately devalue all the years of marriage with a person and divorce.

Whenever people value each other, they resolve conflict situations together, go to therapy and talk about their feelings to each other. When there is a dialogue between spouses and it positively affects the behavior of people, a strong marriage and trusting relationships are formed.



To be happy is a choice of “Never hang out with married men.” Fish is sold in the fish shop, meat - in the meat shop. Don't waste time. A married man does not need a wife, he already has one, says Mikhail Labkovsky. Don’t expect a man who betrayed his wife for you to make you happy, rather the opposite.

Absolutely all relationships require joint efforts, but some marriages are doomed if people do not feel psychological attachment to each other and do not see a future with each other. Divorce is the only solution if you make plans without seeing your current partner in your life in a couple of years. When endless conversations and conflicts go unsolved, you distance yourself from each other and no longer want to build a future together, divorce is the best way out. In other cases, if the relationship suits you or you suddenly get bored, remember that being in such a relationship, breaking up or improving it is your choice.



Peels Editorial Board Love is not about constantly enjoying relationships. Love is support, difficult conversations, shared time and shared development. Don’t be afraid of conflicts and run away from them. In these moments, it becomes clear whether people are willing to work on the relationship and find a compromise or not. If you think there are other people more attractive to you than your current partner, ask yourself, “Is there anything you can do to improve your relationship without looking for ephemeral happiness on the side?”