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How to avoid depreciation
There are many wonderful people around us who inspire, support, cheer and make us believe in ourselves. But there are those who look at the world through the prism of depreciation. Such “truths” like to devalue any feelings, aspirations and even achievements.
“It won’t change anything,” “there are those who are much worse off,” “you were just lucky,” “I had a worse situation,” they are constantly scattering such phrases. It's mostly unconscious. behavioral modelOver time, it became a shell that protects against bad emotions.
DepositPhotos
A person who adheres to such a model has self-esteem. Therefore, it needs to be fed from the outside. And the easiest way to get that boost is to devalue everything.
The fact is that inner respect can be maintained in two ways: either develop and move up, or devalue everything, lower it down. The latter method is easier, therefore more demanded.
Often a person is so fond of depreciation that it absorbs himself. By devaluing it, it lowers self-esteem, hides its virtues, makes its successes unimportant.
This does not allow you to jump above your head, but it helps to insure against regrets in case of failure: “And what you wanted, I’m a loser, otherwise it could not be.”
DepositPhotos
With the help of depreciation, a person protects himself from painful feelings, diminishing the importance of those who are really important. For example, when she says “all men are assholes,” she doesn’t really think so. She's just trying to devalue the very man she needs.
Often this pattern of behavior begins in childhood. And here an important role is given to parents. So, if the parents constantly pointed out to the child his shortcomings, reproached that he was not collected, independent, inattentive, then he could easily develop. inferiority.
DepositPhotos
Feeling like a "ugly duckling", such a person will devalue everything in adulthood in order to rise at least in his own eyes. And if his parents could adopt the manner of upbringing from their mothers and fathers without breaking from this, then it is not a fact that their child will endure it as steadfastly.
As a result, a devaluing attitude towards life becomes part of a person at a young age. And the best advice for those "lucky" who will communicate with him is to avoid "truth."
DepositPhotos The essence of depreciators is especially pronounced on the Internet. Hiding behind the mask of anonymity, they feel permissive, and therefore like to devalue everything. Someone shared their own experiences - you need to be scathingly ridiculed, someone expressed an unusual point of view - you need to call it a lie, without even bothering to search for arguments ...
And if you protect yourself from anonymous “virtual” depreciators from the Internet is simple, then it is much more difficult when such people are in your environment, if it is a close person or even a spouse. Then you have to say that his behavior causes you suffering. You need to understand the causes and move on the path of correction.
By the way, when toxic people are constantly trying to touch you, then use these magic phrases that help to end an unpleasant conversation. After all, in life there are different “subjects” with whom, due to circumstances, we have to communicate. The main thing is to understand why they behave in such an unpleasant way and know how to keep your distance.
How often do you deal with depreciators and how do you deal with their destructive effects? Share, perhaps your experience will help others overcome these difficult situations. psychological testing.
“It won’t change anything,” “there are those who are much worse off,” “you were just lucky,” “I had a worse situation,” they are constantly scattering such phrases. It's mostly unconscious. behavioral modelOver time, it became a shell that protects against bad emotions.
DepositPhotos
A person who adheres to such a model has self-esteem. Therefore, it needs to be fed from the outside. And the easiest way to get that boost is to devalue everything.
The fact is that inner respect can be maintained in two ways: either develop and move up, or devalue everything, lower it down. The latter method is easier, therefore more demanded.
Often a person is so fond of depreciation that it absorbs himself. By devaluing it, it lowers self-esteem, hides its virtues, makes its successes unimportant.
This does not allow you to jump above your head, but it helps to insure against regrets in case of failure: “And what you wanted, I’m a loser, otherwise it could not be.”
DepositPhotos
With the help of depreciation, a person protects himself from painful feelings, diminishing the importance of those who are really important. For example, when she says “all men are assholes,” she doesn’t really think so. She's just trying to devalue the very man she needs.
Often this pattern of behavior begins in childhood. And here an important role is given to parents. So, if the parents constantly pointed out to the child his shortcomings, reproached that he was not collected, independent, inattentive, then he could easily develop. inferiority.
DepositPhotos
Feeling like a "ugly duckling", such a person will devalue everything in adulthood in order to rise at least in his own eyes. And if his parents could adopt the manner of upbringing from their mothers and fathers without breaking from this, then it is not a fact that their child will endure it as steadfastly.
As a result, a devaluing attitude towards life becomes part of a person at a young age. And the best advice for those "lucky" who will communicate with him is to avoid "truth."
DepositPhotos The essence of depreciators is especially pronounced on the Internet. Hiding behind the mask of anonymity, they feel permissive, and therefore like to devalue everything. Someone shared their own experiences - you need to be scathingly ridiculed, someone expressed an unusual point of view - you need to call it a lie, without even bothering to search for arguments ...
And if you protect yourself from anonymous “virtual” depreciators from the Internet is simple, then it is much more difficult when such people are in your environment, if it is a close person or even a spouse. Then you have to say that his behavior causes you suffering. You need to understand the causes and move on the path of correction.
By the way, when toxic people are constantly trying to touch you, then use these magic phrases that help to end an unpleasant conversation. After all, in life there are different “subjects” with whom, due to circumstances, we have to communicate. The main thing is to understand why they behave in such an unpleasant way and know how to keep your distance.
How often do you deal with depreciators and how do you deal with their destructive effects? Share, perhaps your experience will help others overcome these difficult situations. psychological testing.