The chord of happiness or are You happy

Whether you are happy?

This simple question is surprisingly difficult to answer. The fact is that the word "happiness" we put so many different meanings that just stuck in them. Asking the question "am I Happy?", it makes sense to clarify what "I" meant.

For example, you may have heard of "observing "I"", which evaluates the actions of "experiencing the experience "I". Is there a difference between the happiness of one "I" and the other? It turns out there is big. A lot of confusion about the happiness due to the fact that some see it as a question about the sense of life in the process, and others as a question about how we can be happy with their lives, when cast a glance at her eyes. According to Nobel laureate psychologist Daniel Kahneman, our thinking about the future is the anticipation of our future memories of some experience, and not him. It is on the basis of the evaluation of these anticipated memories watching our "I-1" makes a choice about what we should do, often dooming experiencing the "I-2" unnecessary suffering "for the beauty of the story. So when we grumble during the campaign: "the Devil possessed me to drag this backpack in this wilderness" is complaining of our tired and eaten by mosquitoes, "I-1".

But why do we year after year repeating what now seems to us a very big mistake? Yes, because of the whole succession of monotonous days, "I-2" will keep in memory only the brightest peak moments: dawn and the moon track, campfire songs and some clean and delicious was the air in those times when we drew attention to it. We'll forget the corns on her heels and runny nose, upper lateral shelf and a camp cook. And when through the year you'll call a friend and offer to go the same route, you will think: "And why not, great also in that year a campaign was."

BUY A GOAT, SELL THE GOAT

On the one hand, our "I-1" knows what he likes and what not. I love soak in the bath, and I don't like when my teeth hurt. And I always prefer the former to the latter. On the other hand, our "I-2" of this unconditional knowledge is not – it is necessary to compare.

PERFECT VACATION

If you had enough money, time and opportunity, what would you do? Where would he go? Presented? Now imagine that upon your return you will have to destroy all the photos, throw the gifts and to drink a special pill that will erase all memories of your vacation. Now that you know this, have you changed somehow your imaginary scenario? Perhaps now is a hike in the mountains or down the river in a canoe you prefer just two weeks to lie in a deck chair? That is why we need a quality repair, and "better than your neighbor", not a good job, "better than the former classmates", not a high salary, and "above all in the organization? and not to look good, and be beautiful all at the reception". And as the movement of one bowl pharmaceutical scales up or down dependent on what we put on the second, and if something will make us happy or unhappy, depends first of all from what we compare. And to compare with what's right in front of your eyes, much more natural than something distant from us.

Today we automatically compare with yesterday, not the day when we went to the fifth grade, and themselves with their surroundings and with samples that bombards us media, and not with the poor inhabitants of a distant African countries. That's why the second week of vacation (which we compare with the first one, seems not such a Paradise as the previous one (the one we compared with the work). Our "I-2" is sensitive to increments and not to the absolute level, and therefore happiness, "I-2" would "erode". What we already have is always less valuable than what we have or have not been. In the winter we miss summer, summer – autumn and so on. If we tend to look at other hills, the grass on them will always seem greener. It is not in the grass – we just arranged. Therefore, the "I-2" provides a temporary "bursts" of happiness and unhappiness. The average level is partly genetically determined: some people seem by nature on average, happier than others.

SUCCESS AND SUCCESS

Let's say you are lucky to be born the heir of a Corporation and you have ample opportunity to fill our lives with all sorts of nice things and a variety of impressions. Will you be happy? It may be because these two "I" not the only one. How many of them? Psychologist Michael Hall argues that four. "I-1" – person who gets the experience. "I-2" – observer, who analyzes the activities of "I-1". "I-3" – the head that controls the I-1 and I-2". "I-4" – theorist – the source of the criteria and evaluations of all other "I". Could it be that each of them also has their own opinion about happiness? Actually, Yes.

THE SCRIPT OF SUCCESS

Daniel Gilbert, Professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of the bestseller "Stumbling on happiness," writes that when people were asked what job they would prefer to receive a payment of 30000 in the first year 40000 in the second and third 50,000 or 60,000 in the first year and 50,000 in the second and 40,000 in the third, most chose the first option. Although experiencing "I" the first version is much worse (total amount for three years of less), but it's entirely different for our observing "I" that keeps the memory and tells stories. After all, look at both scenarios we see that the second option is the history of the decline and the first – story elevation.

The ability to influence the world, to control, to exert power and to choose what to do – an important source of our happiness. Remember the joy of a child that leaves a mark with a pen on paper or even throwing a toy on the floor – he runs things. Not enough for us to good things happening to us, we need to they were the result of our own efforts. You wanted some changes and implemented them. You have to imagine some purpose and reached it. This is the difference between success and success. Winning the lottery is not success. You will be able to buy a house, car and other things designed to tell others and yourself what the story tells you your "I-2", better than other people's stories. But it's just the success. The real success is sure to be the consequence of your actions. But victory in the case in which it is impossible not to win, success is not considered.

We like to do those actions that will lead us to the goal. But it's not as fun if the target conducts any way possible. Thus, the success largely depends on our actions, but all the way to it there is a certain probability that it will not achieve; there are some external factors that do not depend on us. (So to make a salad is not a success, but the pies – perhaps because the dough may not be suitable.) For our culture in General is typical to confuse success with success, but equating them, we begin to focus solely on the result. And who seeks only the result, nothing but results, and do not get it. And here we are scrambling for the next career step, or make another zero on your Bank account only to discover that the happiness it will bring, is very short-lived. Moreover, deciding that certain achievements – the key to our happiness, we begin to experience anxiety that is not always the outcome of the situation depends solely on us. Then we try to take control of the whole situation and to remove obstacles and drive himself into a state of permanent stress.

THE OPINION OF AN EXPERT TO MANAGE CIRCUMSTANCES

In the traditional Chinese approach to life, personality consists of six levels of "I" – as a physical body, as family, as kin's education, as a nation, as a country and as humanity. Each person defines the relationship with yourself as the relationship between these types of "I", and he has to act in concert in the waves of time, for time is a complex pattern of cycles in which a constantly changing forces passing through different parts of the self. The inevitable contradictions, from which it is possible to get rid of, only by understanding yourself and the impact strength of spirit in everything that happens to you. That is the model of happiness put the concept of the power of the spirit, is interconnected with values such as kindness, decency, conscience, intelligence, and faith.

Happiness Chinese is the ability to maintain a creative state held in the space of meaningful action, to manage predictable coincidence of circumstances.

© Bronislaw Vinogrodsky, a sinologist, writer, public figure

THE HIGHEST NOTE

Happiness 1 is the "here and now" that we are experiencing at the moment.

Happiness-2 – "happiness is what" – how we evaluate our lives.

Happiness-3 is a happiness to manage their own boat.

Happiness is-4 is moving in the right direction.

Proliferating stories of downshifting is the story of people who seemingly have everything, but something is still not enough. They suddenly found that the standard "money-career-car-apartment-helicopter" completely eliminated their own important values. And now al Gore is fighting global warming, bill gates – poverty and epidemics in Africa. The tasks before them are enormous, much more strength of any person. But even if they fail, will they really, deeply unhappy and hopeless? I guess not, because now they give themselves what is valuable in itself. Perhaps at this point, you expect morality that is "happiness high" and "low happiness" and which one should strive, and what to refuse. Any situation that requires a choice between them losing, in fact, abandoning any of them, we'll still be miserable, only in different ways. Really happy we can be only when the desire of all those "I's not come together in conflict and in harmony, like notes in a chord. Due to the fact that we call in one word as many different things, we cannot understand what we lack and, therefore, do not really know what to do with it. But because often we spoil our "I-1" sweet when "I-3" suffers from powerlessness, or try to turn up the tempo when you should think about direction.

Andrei Bespalov

Source: psyh.ru

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