Ready to break up with a good man, not to see his daughter and mother

Not every woman will decide to marriage. And this is absolutely normal, because one way or another you will have to take part in the upbringing of someone else's child. Both he and other relatives can cause quarrels and misunderstandings. This is the problem faced by the heroine of our current history Alla. Whether she is ready to marry a man who already has a child, read more in the article.



I am divorced and have a son who is 7 years old. We live in a 2-room apartment together. Not long ago, my new boyfriend moved in. He left his apartment to his ex-wife and 5-year-old daughter.



Since I also have a child from my first marriage, Anton’s daughter didn’t bother me. I knew that he was actively involved in her upbringing, often saw her and helped financially. I liked that he didn’t forget what parenting was. But at some point it crossed all boundaries.

One evening Anton came home not alone, but with a little Anyuta. It turned out that her mother had urgent business, and Anton’s mother could not take her to her for the night. Of course, I would not throw my man and daughter out on the street. After that, the girl started coming to us more often.



I didn't like it, to be honest. First of all, it is still quite small, so you need to look after it. Secondly, Anyuta turned out to be a rather finicky child: she did not eat everything, did not always obey and could whisk. I didn’t want my son to be like her, even though he was older than her.

And then things got worse because Anton's mother started coming to my apartment. For health reasons, she could not take her granddaughter for long. Therefore, Vera Alexandrovna decided that she could visit us when Anyuta is visiting us. She does this without any warning.

Anton once brought Anyuta back on Friday night for the whole weekend. I took my son to my mother’s because I wanted to rest the day and spend it in silence. The only thing I asked Anton was, ‘Please, when you get up in the morning, play in the other room so I can sleep.’ Don't make any noise, please.



Am I asking too much? It turned out that it was, because at exactly 7 a.m., Anton's mother burst into my room and screamed to the whole room: "Allochka, where's your blender?" I want our baby to make fresh pancakes with jam. I made it myself, strawberry!

That's when my patience ran out. I asked Anton to leave, his mother and his daughter. It’s my day off and I want to relax. Let Vera Alexandrovna fry pancakes to her granddaughter at home! God, I don't even have a blender!



Anyway, they left. And when Anton came back, he said we needed to talk seriously. I thought he wanted to break up after the fight tonight. But he, on the contrary, said that he would like to legalize our relationship: “Will you marry me?” I want us to be one big and friendly family! ?

I just don't know if I want it anymore. As I imagine what awaits me when we get married, it becomes bad. I'm sure Anton's mother will think she can now run my apartment like she does at home. I don't need that! I think I'm willing to break up with a good man to avoid seeing his family. But that's okay, right?

Each of us has the right to personal space. And if someone else encroaches on him, it's not normal and it shouldn't be. Therefore, Alla's reaction is quite clear and obvious. The problem is that she doesn’t seem ready to marry a man with a child. This is a huge responsibility that both spouses will bear.



Alla should talk to Anton and see what he thinks about it. Perhaps her fears are in vain and they can mend the relationship? Boldly share your opinion on this in the comments!