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How to be polite in any situation
It is morally wrong to lie. That's what we've been taught since childhood. Only the truth and no slyness. Etiquette teaches us to be polite.
But if you tell everyone the truth, you can offend it and be called impolite. How can we find a way out of this contradiction? The writer Alexander Gnesin has his own opinion on this matter, which our editorial board finds very interesting.
192746
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Lie for good, I know how to save the world. Only he's unlikely to agree with me. But I still insist on my own and believe that the secret of survival is hypocrisy. Its escalation can serve as a measure of civilization. The less we say what we think, the easier it is for everyone to get along with each other.
Tolerance begins with lying and ends with politeness, which becomes an automatic response to any contact with an outsider. So the English, forgetting to think, apologize when they step on their feet.”
DepositPhotos: In Japan, you don’t step on your foot, but you apologize anyway. It is understandable: the islands are used to living in cramped conditions. But even in spacious America, they are rude only while driving.
I have been amazed many times by the way the man who had just overtaken me at the risk of both of our lives hides his eyes when he gets out of the car. And because if he doesn’t hide it, he can shoot it.”
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“There are more fights on the American road than in bars. Perhaps because, fenced off from others with glass and metal, it is easier to be yourself, and this is not always an appetizing sight.
Politeness is what prevents us from opening up in this way – by throwing ourselves out. Sometimes politeness is offended, rightly considering it a hypocritical deception. I know for myself, because in Moscow I am reproached with an accent.
DepositPhotos
I have it, of course, but not in my native language, which I speak on the radio for half my life. I was puzzled for a long time until I realized that the habit of always saying hello, even on the phone, was to blame.
DepositPhotos
“In the meantime, politeness to outsiders seems to many to be an alien quirk, not far from political correctness.
And I can understand this too, for the antithesis of politeness is not rudeness but sincerity. Frankness makes communication meaningful, politeness makes it possible. We often talk to people who disagree with us. Dovlatov said: “You complain that they do not let us into literature, but we would not let them into the tram.”
DepositPhotos: In extreme cases, when Republicans and Democrats engage, cats and dogs, or butchers and vegetarians engage, it’s best to keep quiet while talking about the weather. Moreover, about the interesting - about love, money and the shortcomings of others - it is worth talking only sincerely.
If in English “you” refers to God or Shakespeare (they are often confused), then Russian places between “you” and “you” an endless gradation of shades.
DepositPhotos
“The hidden ‘you’ requires unmixed feelings.” It’s good for people we love or despise. For the rest of humanity, “you” implies a bouquet of difficult and sometimes opposing feelings.
DepositPhotos
“A beautiful emotional ikebana is a mixture of truth and lies, that is, frankness and hypocrisy. And if sincerity is as indispensable as vodka, politeness is as necessary as water. One cannot live without the first, one cannot live without the second.
So, falsehood is good.And sometimes it's acceptable. The main thing is not to lie to yourself and not to lie for selfish purposes, then the conscience will be clear.
But if you tell everyone the truth, you can offend it and be called impolite. How can we find a way out of this contradiction? The writer Alexander Gnesin has his own opinion on this matter, which our editorial board finds very interesting.
192746
DepositPhotos
Lie for good, I know how to save the world. Only he's unlikely to agree with me. But I still insist on my own and believe that the secret of survival is hypocrisy. Its escalation can serve as a measure of civilization. The less we say what we think, the easier it is for everyone to get along with each other.
Tolerance begins with lying and ends with politeness, which becomes an automatic response to any contact with an outsider. So the English, forgetting to think, apologize when they step on their feet.”
DepositPhotos: In Japan, you don’t step on your foot, but you apologize anyway. It is understandable: the islands are used to living in cramped conditions. But even in spacious America, they are rude only while driving.
I have been amazed many times by the way the man who had just overtaken me at the risk of both of our lives hides his eyes when he gets out of the car. And because if he doesn’t hide it, he can shoot it.”
DepositPhotos
“There are more fights on the American road than in bars. Perhaps because, fenced off from others with glass and metal, it is easier to be yourself, and this is not always an appetizing sight.
Politeness is what prevents us from opening up in this way – by throwing ourselves out. Sometimes politeness is offended, rightly considering it a hypocritical deception. I know for myself, because in Moscow I am reproached with an accent.
DepositPhotos
I have it, of course, but not in my native language, which I speak on the radio for half my life. I was puzzled for a long time until I realized that the habit of always saying hello, even on the phone, was to blame.
DepositPhotos
“In the meantime, politeness to outsiders seems to many to be an alien quirk, not far from political correctness.
And I can understand this too, for the antithesis of politeness is not rudeness but sincerity. Frankness makes communication meaningful, politeness makes it possible. We often talk to people who disagree with us. Dovlatov said: “You complain that they do not let us into literature, but we would not let them into the tram.”
DepositPhotos: In extreme cases, when Republicans and Democrats engage, cats and dogs, or butchers and vegetarians engage, it’s best to keep quiet while talking about the weather. Moreover, about the interesting - about love, money and the shortcomings of others - it is worth talking only sincerely.
If in English “you” refers to God or Shakespeare (they are often confused), then Russian places between “you” and “you” an endless gradation of shades.
DepositPhotos
“The hidden ‘you’ requires unmixed feelings.” It’s good for people we love or despise. For the rest of humanity, “you” implies a bouquet of difficult and sometimes opposing feelings.
DepositPhotos
“A beautiful emotional ikebana is a mixture of truth and lies, that is, frankness and hypocrisy. And if sincerity is as indispensable as vodka, politeness is as necessary as water. One cannot live without the first, one cannot live without the second.
So, falsehood is good.And sometimes it's acceptable. The main thing is not to lie to yourself and not to lie for selfish purposes, then the conscience will be clear.
