Ethics is the most important topic in personality psychology, actually. No ethical web Mature person does not build. First you form your ethical core, and then he keeps the inside and protects you, gives you the most important and the strongest support in life.
But this topic is so difficult for many that seems boring.
I'll try to explain what is the ethical core of what it does, and how it differs from morality in the white coat. Until the internal ethics of the person does not, he is under the pressure of public morality.
He doesn't understand until the end why it is impossible why it is impossible, what is bad, but forced to comply. First he is forced to obey from fear: to not be punished, then he is forced to obey for the sake of gain: to be a good person, then he has something like his own conscience: he is ashamed and afraid to act immorally.
Ashamed and afraid — this is not an ethical core, which is not morality, and morality, which has penetrated into the man and standing over him as a strict censor.
Previously, he secretly could break all sorts of rules, and now the conscience is looking at him with a strict eye, and not allow him to do that. Previously, it seemed to him that his inner life belongs to him, no one sees his thoughts and desires, and now he had the inner observer, like an overseer in the camp. This is the so — called interiorizarse (placed inside) the parental figure.
But this is not an ethical core. It's all the same pressure, just a neurotic, violating the borders. Neuroticism is imperfect self-reflection, the man looks at himself, but looking through the eyes of strangers, judgmental, critical.
From the neuroticism really want to return to the conditions of the child's irresponsibility, when it was possible to secretly violate any rules and it was all good when no one sees and no one will be punished.Now the teacher got inside borders, violating the integrity of the person.
At this stage of ethical development most people get stuck. They are torn between "I can do everything" and "I should" and can't determine how best to live. The first is dangerous and embarrassing, the second is too sad and painful. In fact, it is best not to get stuck, and move on.
Then begins the stage when the person realizes its right to discharge the overseer, and decide that it is good. The person is aware of their rights, the jewel of personal freedom and personal choice.
It is better to suffer deprivation than to be a slave and to obey someone else's rules. And then everything will depend on whether the person is aware of the usefulness of morality. Morality, the usefulness of which the individual is aware that knowingly made her, not from fear, not under pressure,but for his use, gradually turns into a morality.
To be moral you must be aware of the importance of ethical rules for himself. Many people think that to behave morally is necessary in order to make other people feel good and comfortable that their interests are not hurt.What kind of sacrifice imagine instead of morality. Some move further in the direction of rational egoism. Say, do good for the people, they do well you get an indirect benefit, the benefit through the contribution to cooperation. At the stage of rational egoism, we can say that the person becomes almost a moral one. Almost, but not really. Before this morality remain two stage.
In the next stage of development the person is aware that his morality is of more use to him, and not others. Before he could think it — restrictions, useful to society or some of its layers. He could even books with empathy to read, where is it written that religion appeared to the gentlemen making it easier for servants to obey, he could assume that no morality is contrary to individuality, binds its creative manifestations. While the man thinks so, he will resist of morality, either to submit to her fear like a coward. When people see that the conscience is not to push him intended, to pull up, he look at her differently.
This is similar to how some perceive parents. While there are ideas about what parents need for power that they achieve obedience for the sake of self-affirmation that they realize their ambitions and they do not care about the welfare of a child, the power of parents is perceived with hostility. Sometimes humbly, but hostile. Once a person is aware of (usually myself becoming a parent) that parents achieve obedience, to give more care to protect the child, raise him well, conflict with parents disappears. Even if parents are wrong in that their motive interest of the child. About the same it is important to understand about morality. You need to be my own parent, that is, to formulate those principles and rules that will make your own, but you should not think that morality exists in order to use you and crush.
It exists to protect you and make you stronger, although really strong you will become when you integrate morality in his personality, turning it into a morality.
At this stage you receive a generated image and I need to look ethical, right in their own eyes. Is the need to be beautiful and strong, noble. Don't pretend to be.
Now people would rather look like a weakling, a sneak and a coward in the eyes of others than in their own. If he lied, it's sad, but the main thing is that he knows about himself.
He becomes for himself the most important figure. Only now! Once he didn't care, he wasn't looking at myself and didn't think it was important, then he began to look at her but watched other people's eyes and always wanted this look to hide, and now he began to look at HIMSELF, developed the self-reflection to the level of consciousness
began to see themselves and to value themselves.He had the need to behave decently, he had a need to experience the pleasure of looking at yourself. Only now we can say that people have started to love yourself truly and truly respect yourself.
But to a Mature morality is not enough of something else.
Remained fully aware and feel the connection of pleasure and use. As long as the use remains something abstract, it is all the time subjected to doubt. And is it useful? And to whom? And for what? And who said? But where is the evidence? And maybe more useful? The word "good" all the time suspected some kind of manipulation of consciousness. In fact, what is useful today, it is tomorrow's pleasure.
Fun as it is — this is today's fun, what we are experiencing right now. The benefit is tomorrow's pleasure, our responsible attitude to ensure that tomorrow, we also had prosperity.
While it is not clear, it is difficult to be ethical and it's hard to be strong-willed. Why bother, depriving themselves a part of the fun today? For tomorrow's fun. Not in order, just to sacrifice something, and that tomorrow, too, to feel happy, to keep all the energy today to do nothing to put something in the works that tomorrow will bring a profit. That is, concern about the use is only responsible for their own pleasure.
Fun is different, not only physical but also emotional, intellectual, aesthetic. However, it is always the experience of the fullness and inspiration, high energy state. That state of completeness did not stop, care use.Morality ensures good. Being moral, you provide yourself inside the approval, support, confidence in the correctness, conviction in the stated law.
To gain energy from his brain to fight, you have to be right in their own eyes, and this is not achieved by any illusions, except that for a while. Stable confidence is achieved only by the formation of ethical stem and support it. You behave ethically in their system of values and therefore do not doubt that you are right. If you will know to myself that there you are a coward, the liar, the traitor here, your confidence will be nowhere to take.
So when people ask, well, how to love yourself? First love yourself upfront as living, feeling, needing his love to the creature, and then cultivate ethical web and to start to respect yourself and to love truly. Not having an ethical core, truly loving yourself is impossible, all the time I want to either run away from myself, or to imagine themselves as someone else, not yourself, someone more worthy in all respects. Himself a man without ethical web think what junk, even if you hide it from yourself. Well, a white coat covered morality when there is no understanding of its connection with benefit and pleasure. Hence, there are these angry "fu". No eww, just bad and makes a man's life joyless.
His own life, not the life of another. The life of another depends on his ethics, so to resent someone else's unethical is silly, you have to look at her. And also without judgment.
Author: Marina Komissarova
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©