Life Lessons Bashny.Net

6 lessons of life





Lesson 1

Naked woman comes out of the bath and wrapped in a towel after her husband goes to take a shower. At that time, someone rings the doorbell. The wife opens the door and sees Bob's downstairs neighbor. Even before it has time to say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 if you take off your towel!" After a moment's hesitation the wife takes off the towel. Bob hands her $ 800 and leaves. The wife again wrapped in a towel. Her husband comes out of the shower and asked: "This is not Bob went?" She: "Bob." He said: "He gave you not that $ 800, which took me last week»?
Moral: "If you have time would bring to the attention of the shareholders of the loan terms, thus not put them in an awkward position in front of the borrower." Lesson 2

Boss and his staff: the system administrator and senior manager go for lunch, but on the way accidentally found an old brass lamp. They rubbed it and out popped the genie lamp: "I will fulfill one wish each of you." The system administrator shouted: "I, first I am! I would like the Bahamas, flying over the waves in a speed boat, and that I do not care! " Manager: "And now I am! I want to Hawaii so I had a personal masseuse and the sea of ​​cocktails, and that I was enjoying life. " Gene takes their wishes. Then he turns to the boss and asks, "Well, what do you wish?" The boss said: "So, let's quickly back to the office the two loafers, the annual report on his nose»!
Moral: "Always wait while your boss is the first to express your opinion».

Lesson 3

The priest offered to drive a nun. She sat in the car and crossed her legs so that her modest dress slightly opened her beautiful legs. The priest nearly had an accident when he saw them. But, on reflection, slightly moved his hand to her feet. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 123?" The priest pulled his hand away. After a while his hand again almost involuntarily reached out to her feet. The nun once again: "Father, remember Psalm 123?" The priest said: "Alas, my sister, because the flesh is weak." But dovozit her to a nunnery and leaves with restless flesh. Arriving at the church, he is rushing to read Psalm 123. And what he sees: "Go on, on and on, and your desires will be fulfilled».
Moral: "If you know the bad things that you should know in your chosen profession, you may miss out on many opportunities».

Lesson 4

Crow sitting on a tree. Past jumps a rabbit. He asks the raven: What are you doing? " She: "Yes, I want to - so do not do." Rabbit asked: "I can?" Crow: "Why not?". Rabbit sat under a tree, sitting, doing nothing. He runs past the fox watching: Rabbit sits. Then she ate him.
Moral: "To sit and do nothing, you must be sitting very high».

Lesson 5

Turkey says the bull: "Oh, how I wish I could fly to the top of the tree and look at the world from there." Taurus asks, "Why do not you fly?" She: "Yes, a little strength." He said: "Did you eat my shit in it a bunch of useful and nutrients. Another help - and help you. " Turkey ate shit useful one day - was able to fly to the first branch. The second day - on the second. So gradually it climbed almost to the top. Where a farmer has been shooting for the festive dinner, as the most well-fed turkey.
Moral: "Crap, can sometimes help to climb to the top, but more often - sucked».

Lesson 6

A little bird did not have time to fly to warmer climes in the early winter. It was cold, the bird froze and fell to the field. Mimo was a cow, and the cow "tortilla" hit right on the bird. Bird was warm, it got warmer and began to sing for joy. Past the cat was heard singing birds, he dug cow "cake", took out the bird and ate.
Moral: 1. "Not everyone who pours crap on you - your enemy." 2. "Not everyone who gets you out of shit - your friend." 3. "If you sit in deep shit, keep your mouth shut."