Do not break — do not build: the story of one hero Bashny.Net

If you feel that changes are necessary in life, if you are tired of the current life, but did not dare to make a move, if you know that the time has come to change, but I don't know how my article will be useful for you.

This is the story of my transformation. Looking back on it, I realize that changes have taken place in stages that are highlighted in his book "Tysyacheletii hero" by Joseph Campbell.

After each stage I will share with you key lessons I learned from him and hope that your path will be smoother and shorter than mine.





According to Hegel, the development occurs in a spiral: eight years ago I left the business to again to return to it, but the other person in a different capacity. The path length in eight years from businessman and TOP Manager, in the girl expanding clients lashes, then a business trainer, coach and consultant, author of the "Hero's Journey" and again in businessman — managing partner in the First BIT of University (although now I like the word "entrepreneur").

 Step one: CALL"I was not a tyrant but a fool was."

Duration: 2 years (from first symptoms before the crisis)

I'm 31, I'm the Director of both companies. One of 5 branches, trade B2B, B2B second also, but services 11 branches. The company does not linked. I live on the job — up to 18 hours on one and then on another. 2-4 missions per month, meetings, calls, negotiations, Saturday — definitely working on a Sunday occasionally rest.

On vacation I was seven years old. The tight schedule, everything that hinders his career — in the furnace!

Remember how I convinced a friend that it is lagging behind life and should immediately go to work, and her two-month-old son has already received enough attention and can be satisfied with the babysitter. I was not a tyrant, but was a fool.

All is well — I am a successful and young. Here only periodically there is a feeling that my life is a train, the speed is so high that no jump, no you can't stop. Weak at first, then increasingly explicit calls: fatigue, irritation, discontent. And, increasingly, the question about the meaning of all — what am I doing?

This is what I call "CALL": something tells you that it's time to change, first very quietly, then louder. The call to listen to it once and scary. I continued to run.

Over all as a movie. On Monday morning, approaching my car, I suddenly realized that I CAN NOT, not can — to work or to live as before. Came home, Packed up and left town for a month. In the way of writing to the founders of both companies unintelligible letters like, "I can't, sorry." I, who was never sick, worked 12 hours a day, the level of stress which rolls over, just don't come to work and didn't even give the case. Broke. The survival instinct was stronger. Just realized this, even thought I have some sort of mental illness: sane people do not throw such a career.

 

Lessons from the stage:

• Never miss "the CALL" — listen, think, do pause.

• If missed, wait for a big kick.

• To destroy all that was built many years can in one day.

 The second stage: the INTENTION"I will tell you that with me, and you will diagnose and tell you how many sessions you will be able to fix it. If you are a professional, you should have a concept of time."

Duration: 8-9 months (from the end of the acute phase of the crisis to the point of understanding who I am and what I want from life)

A couple of months I wasn't working. Could not. All my classes has been reduced to hours-long walks. Reality returned the money, or their property to end.

Would like to get a simple job as an office Manager or seller in the store. However, if I was invited for an interview, then shrugged: "You, with this background to take a low position, we can't, sorry."

Learned to build lashes — very meditative. Through conversations with clients come to understand that I'm not sick. After all, the "CALL" for change was subconsciously long before the crisis. At that point, I rested physically, but mentally not. Return to career caused panic and eyelash extensions I did not see any sense or prospects.

It was necessary to understand yourself and understand how you want to live, to form the INTENTION.

And when I first went to a therapist. At the first meeting: "I'll tell you what's wrong with me, and you will diagnose and tell you how many sessions you will be able to fix it. If you are a professional, you should have a concept of time." Still a lot of fun.

In parallel, I led the practice — 1-2 hours a day to think about the future and what I want to do. Greatly helped by the Internet, shoveled a lot of information about different people and professions.

The result was a series of realizations that are important for me: to learn, to grow, to share with people to develop them (even the Director often took inexperienced staff and grew from it professional), to be in sight, to see the result, to be free. Obvious things that it took me six months. The profession of a business coach — went perfectly. There were two options, but I chose the coach.

 

Lessons from the stage:

• Work is work. To think, to analyze, to visualize – not equal inaction and passivity.

• To understand what you need may take years.

• Find a mentor (a therapist, a coach and a wise man), not confined.



 

 

Step three: THRESHOLD"I knew, that here we need the will, if we do not do, tomorrow will be even harder".

Duration: 1 month

I'm excited! But rise rapidly into doubt: a lot of coaches who I am, will not work, made a mistake in the choice can again be disappointed.

On stage, the THRESHOLD task is to take a step in the direction of the goal. In my case the step was to learn a new profession. It was very difficult to act, but eyelashes customers were not pleased, and I knew that there will need today if you don't, tomorrow will be even harder.

Find strength and cross the THRESHOLD, you go to learn to coach. This is a serious 6-month course with the basics of group dynamics and other things. In parallel, continue to build lashes. I have 8 months, not the Director.

 

Lessons from the stage:

• Never too late to start.

• Even if I made the right choice, you can face the doubt, and they are caused by fear.

• Doubt useful, but you don't have to slow down.

 

Step four: GUARDIANS -"the closest people can be against the changes in you, even if they are for the better."

It is difficult to call the duration, so as still there are more and more keepers, but the bright phase is in the region of six months

I'm learning and trying to conduct trainings. It was fun, when I realized I already spent when I worked with their branches, just call it congresses or business meetings. Around there are many new and interesting people.

I then really needed the support. Because in a past life, you were successful, there was a driver, a Secretary, and a decent income, and the new you – no. Literally NO one. Very much like back in the old reality.

At the same time began to receive offers for leadership positions. Willpower refused. Understand that the way back is a dead end.

I got KEEPERS, the people who supported and helped. For me it was: my mentor and therapist, family, colleagues in education, some friends and of course books. Of course, not all were keepers, there were those who turned away, but it is in the classroom. It was a very difficult time with my family when we had almost ceased to communicate, it was very unexpected, but still we found the strength to talk and build relationships, and the family many have supported me.

About the book.

• "To hell with it, get on and do it" Richard Branson helped me to cast a doubt
• "The book of warrior of light" Paulo Coelho — given understanding that making mistakes is not terrible,
• Mahatma Gandhi, Franz Kafka and Viktor Frankl — what you need to follow your own path, to see sense and to be yourself under any circumstances.

 

Thank you, keepers, without you I would still have returned to employment and has occupied a regular position of Director in any company either went out completely or go back threw everything.

 

Lessons from the stage:

• When you think no one believes in you, ask, and if you're ready to see the faith of others and accept their help.

• Keepers not much happens.

• The closest people can be against the changes in you, even if they are for the better.





 

 

Step five: DEMONS"You will find demons, even if this is your path".

Duration: 2-4 years

I'm a coach, and three years Director. I have business cards and our first clients.

But there are first failures. It is not so easy to sell yourself, not able to turn out the base. Bad training, the topic was "Negotiations" — as I brought it — don't really remember. Finance expected all yet. And need to learn again and again, almost endlessly, because it is the specificity of the profession.

During this period, I met frequently with former colleagues, TOP managers, who, learning that I work as a business coach, smiled condescendingly and said something in the spirit of "Ah, I see."

All these factors played the role of DEMONS for me, reflecting my inner fears and doubts.

Felt like a roller coaster: it turns out, no, were making plans, but often they did not develop. Success came, but it was not regular and I started to think that the plan is impossible. Looking for a partnership, it has not evolved, been fascinated by and disappointed in people.

Ego does not give rest, wanted the same success as in the business career. And only keepers and perseverance helped to pass this stage.

I was skeptical, but continued to study: second degree, MBA Coaching Institute.

 

Lessons from the stage:

• Belief in yourself is important, and you should take care of it.

• Results don't always come as quickly as we would like.

• You will find demons, even if it is your way.

 Stage six: DEATH"If you feel bad, then you're alive".

Duration: two weeks

Death, of course, metaphorical. The phase did not last long, but it was very bad. I died an old, old habits and stereotypes, left superficial and ceased to be a question "to seem or to be." Externally, the stage is not visible and may be called the "dark night of the soul" can hardly be called life at that period, as there is a huge inside job, breaking.

At one point I realized I was different now, and same as before not anymore. Left a doubt in the right way.

 

Lessons from the stage:

• Change comes through pain.

• If you feel bad, then you're alive.

• When you change, the old problems seem like problems of the child from kindergarten.

 

And then there were more steps, believe me, they should not so much detail to describe, because you're already on the wave, full of strength, energy and faith in yourself.





THE GIFT OF POWER

Appeared its author's program "the Hero's Journey", partners, new projects. This year received as many offers as were reported in the last five years. But most important — have faith in yourself.

 

TEST

Life is always testing us, which without difficulties. But during this phase, they don't seem so terrible. It is rather a task by solving which you rejoice, because you know how much you've grown and changed.

 

The return of the ninth stage of my journey

Often people ask how to interpret it and what is the return if he never left. My return was the fact that I'm back in business, combining your management skills with the skills of a trainer and a coach. I have combined managerial experience, from which refused in the past, that I have gained working in the field of business training and development. And together with the First BIT, we have established a University, where I am managing partner.

Ahead of me is still waiting for SKILLS, it seems to me, a way of life. And therefore I will not consider it a separate step: over the years, I have over 1000 hours of individual counselling, this year alone I have made more than 25 strategic sessions, webinars 35. And the skill evaluated by the customers.

I can only say that many customers come back.

A story of strength to share with you now, in this article.

Looking ahead, as the HISTORY of POWER is the eleventh and final stage of the journey.

 

As I have changed during your journey?

First and foremost, I began to hear and understand people.

Second, I learned to relax, dedicate time to family and friends, to be effective and successful without being a robot. Now I have more projects and more free time.

If starting the journey, I compared life with a fast-speeding train, now my life is a "platform" (as the song Makarevich) and different types of transport, can on the plane, and can and walking.

I choose the pace, speed and priority. Doing what you love, not what is fashionable or necessary.

What's next? It's simple — there is comfort and conventional reality, and a new journey, and again the CALL, the INTENTION, the THRESHOLD GUARDIANS, DEMONS... a New round.





 And in the end the main theses:

— Change is inevitable, never, never dismissive attitude to the CALL, don't miss it.

— Deciding to change and to change lives — look for a mentor and allies.

— Have fun, they help us to change and make life more interesting.

— Develop awareness and work on your personality, and expand the scale. Coaching, psychotherapy, training, books, seminars, webinars — to help you.

— Remember that the body is also important, it gives energy, because sport is simply necessary.

PS was simple in my way? No. If I'm ready for another one this way? Yes, because I understand that it's easier now, because you already know the symptoms.published

 

Author: Nina Tarasova

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: interesno.co/myself/1cb2d38799a1