How to support a friend in a difficult situation

Divorce is a difficult test for both. When they get married, young people hardly think that the day will come when all their resources invested in creating a family will be wasted. And often fears are translated into reality, leading to a final rupture. And without support from the outside, it is difficult to survive such a shock.

However, often close people simply do not know which words will help and which will only hurt. So today's editorial office. "Site" It will tell you how to properly and delicately support a person in such a difficult period.





I got married when I was barely in my 20s. At that time, I could not even imagine that we would divorce, because life without a loved one seemed unthinkable to me. It seemed that we were ready to live our whole lives despite any difficulties. But that was just how it seemed.

“In general, the routine took over us, we ceased to be a team. Of course, there were many personal nuances that should not be talked about. Sometimes I found a million reasons to divorce, sometimes I thought there was none. And yet we divorced.

"Life after divorce from husband She seemed especially lonely, although the people who loved me were still there. However, friends and relatives often did not know how to help me, what words to say to comfort me. Some even said phrases that only hurt me, says Anna.





Indeed, if loved ones can’t find the right words of support and keep silent, it looks like a silent condemnation. But some popular phrases to speak is also contraindicated, although they are very popular. Let’s see what not to say.

1. "What happened? ?
   Surprisingly popular question, although it is unlikely that all the details of the personal relationship of the spouses can concern even the closest relatives. Of course, it happens that a person wants to talk, but then he will show initiative. However, a direct question should not be asked.
2. "How are you?"
   It seems good to be interested in how a person is doing. But in a divorced woman, such a question can cause bad thoughts and even tears. It’s hard not to remember how much time you’ve invested in a future that doesn’t exist anymore. So it’s better to ask something neutral like, “How are you today?” It is easier for a person to open up if it is only about one day.
   
   
   
   
3. “Maybe we can meet sometime?” ?
   Free time after a divorce often becomes more, and therefore meeting with friends is a good way out. But behind such a question there should be a real invitation, an appointment of a meeting. Talking about spending time together when you don't really plan on dating is cruel.
4. "I don't understand."
   It is not necessary to understand a loved one in order to support him. Moreover, the decisions on such a serious step have certainly been considered more than once, there are many confusing nuances. Therefore, a person on the side of this should not understand.
   
   
   
   
5. “Maybe you should see a psychologist?”
   Underneath this line lies the question of whether everything was done by the couple to try to save the marriage. But if the gap has occurred, then it is too late to think about family therapy. Ask your friend if she has someone to talk to. There is much more care and benefit in this matter.
   
   
   
   

Of course, this list cannot be used as a ban on saying everything. It's yours. divorce support A man can be very useful. Just gently offer her help, reminding her that you will always support her.