What requirements in the marriage contract prescribes a smart spouse

Contractual marriage A phenomenon that often occurs, for example, in the East. So, in India, some families still marry children who have not even met before. These mutually beneficial alliances promise profit and prosperity for both families. But not always.



Is it possible for us to have something like this? A relationship based not on mutual feelings, but only on material basis? Next, we would like to publish a letter from our reader on her behalf. We think this topic will be interesting for you.

I grew up in a strange family. Well, maybe by other standards she's weird. To me, it's the usual. We lived with a mother, a few cats and no father. Almost every two days my mother’s sisters, my aunts, came to visit us. Eating, sleeping, helping with household chores. If it weren't for the modest square of our apartment, I'm sure they would have moved in.

My mother didn't like men, but I loved my father very much.One I don't remember at all. She told me he was a very good person, hardworking and fun. Unfortunately, one day he left and never came back. But it will come back, it was not even discussed.



So, a couple of years ago, when I was still “only” 30 years old, my mother and I lived together, all in the same apartment. There were cats too, but not the ones, and the aunts kept coming, but less often. You ask me, how did this happen? Well, I'll take it.

I was raised by women who, to put it mildly, hated men. Being in some way also determines consciousness, so it’s not strange that I wasn’t interested in boys at school. And in the yard. And violin courses. And at the institute. There was no desire not only to start a romantic relationship, but even just to be friends with a representative of the opposite sex.

All my few friends only sighed and whispered, and then admired notebooks, on the covers of which their favorite actors from movies and TV series adored. I wasn't interested, and I really felt like an alien from another world. true and correct.



And so, having lived up to 30 years, not knowing the warmth of men’s hugs and serenades under the moon, I learn one family secret: on the birthday of one of the aunts (which, of course, was held in my mother’s apartment), she told me. It turns out that mom and dad made a verbal contract. My mother needed a child, and my father needed a residence permit in the city. Nothing more united them, let alone any feelings.

This incident had a huge impact on me. That is, my mother simply did not have feelings for men, and I was waiting for the same, not exchanging myself for something cheaper. And it turns out the closest person to me. plainly all this time.



A week after that, I decided to “wrap”. I called an old friend, with whom I did not communicate for a long time, we went to some cafe or bar and got drunk. They talked there for a long time, I told her, probably, everything that I had boiled and even more. I used to drink something heavier than soda 2 times in my life and I didn’t like it. I was as happy as an elephant that day.

When the party was coming to an end, my friend offered to introduce me to a man, a cool successful lawyer, who is looking for a girlfriend through acquaintances and from a good family, to be completely confident in the person. I thought for a second and agreed. Honestly, I would have gone on a date with someone that night because I was so affected by alcohol.

A couple of days later, after a phone call, wearing my favorite dress, I head to a restaurant that I could not afford. There I am waiting for a handsome young man, about thirty-five years old, in a shirt, with a well-groomed bristles and an open, confident smile. The first date went great. He joked, laughed, told interesting stories and was simply irresistible.



I firstHow did my high school friends feel? A couple of days later, we went on a second date, and then again and again. A month later, I realized I was in love. It was not difficult, because I did not see the disadvantages in this person. It is strange that at his age he was never married. But it didn’t bother me much: life, here it is. And life is beautiful!

Exactly in the third month of our relationship we went out of town. There was a private house that was only at our disposal for the weekend. The atmosphere was festive and I felt like something was going to happen. It happened. Sergey got on one knee and extended his two hands to me.



In one, he held an open casket with a superb ring, and in the second, a folder in brown leather binding. I wondered why he was giving me a menu from the restaurant. A little hasty, without saying a word, I just stared at him. He smiled and stood up.

It turned out that my friend had told him everything she knew about me, and after we last met her, she had learned literally every detail of my not-so-interesting life. He admitted that honestly. The ring is really his proposal to get married. And under the brown cover of the “menu” was a printout of his rules and requirements for the future soul mate. Of course, as a gentleman should, he gives me a whole day to make a decision.



To make you understand, I’ll just write some of his dozens of rules:

Rules
  1. Spouses (husband and wife) sleep separately, each on his own bed or in different rooms, if desired.
  2. The spouse (wife) undertakes not to work, but to receive a salary from the spouse (husband) in the amount of XXXX rubles every week.
  3. Every year, spouses (husband and wife) must spend their holidays abroad together. Everyone can take another vacation separately. Payment for travel at the expense of the husband.
  4. Physical infidelity of either spouse should not be a reason for divorce.
  5. None of the parents of the spouse (wife) can take part in the upbringing of children.
  6. The only possible list of the names of future children: Theophanes, Vladimir, Aristarchus, Prokop (for boys), Alice, Elizabeth, Tatiana or Zinaida (for girls)
  7. Wet cleaning should be done in the house every day.
  8. Food should be prepared by the spouse (wife) at least 2 calendar days a week. The rest of the time can be delivered from restaurants at the expense of the spouse (husband).


For me, of course, it came as a shock. It turns out that all of his conversational topics that are so close to me were carefully calibrated, just to keep me interested from the start. Love? I don't think he loved me. And this crazy dad with rules in general caused me only shame and disgust.

Then I remembered my mother and my apartment. I haven’t thought about cats in years, and I’ve always felt them hungry. I remember an aunt and a family secret I learned.



Now I am 36, and Sergey and I have two boys: Vladimir and Prokop. We still hope for the girl, but it's not necessary, just thoughts. I realized that cats in a big house are not about me. Cleaning up after them... Why? Sometimes I want to go straight to work. But then I read stories of women who work all the time, and my desire changes.

I have several friends who live in similar conditions. We socialize, go to nightclubs sometimes and just have a good time when we're bored. My husband values me and my personal space. I reciprocate with him. He's a good man. Do you think, "Site"Would I like to go back to my old life?