The man differs from the animal? Is it possible to save a family, whose head was a drunkard and a sadist? Let's talk about domestic violence. His vision of this problem, says the priest Constantine of komyshany.
The whole world of violence we destroy
To the ground, and then
We ours, we will build a new world,
Who was nothing will become everything.
We are still reaping the fruits of the Revolution of 1917.
The Bolsheviks abolished inequality and transformed the country into homogeneous toiling mass. Destroyed the country, and then took a breath and continued to destroy the foundations of the world. Came the destruction of the family.
But it just doesn't break her. Need a "godly" reason or the bait on the hook. The infopovod for a new revolution steel wave disturbances associated with the concept of "family violence"
. There was a movement "against violence in the family."
Violence here refers is the violence of men over women. Supposedly women for centuries are literally slaves to men who in a spiritual sense – being more low. This view gave rise to the phenomenon of feminism, the idea of women as the "Supreme human race". And this "race" don't need no husband, no family, no Church wedding.When all vs allI suggest to make a reservation, that violence is violence, and to exclude from the use of the word "family"
.Not family causes violence and the vices of its members. A husband beats his wife not because she is a woman or wife, but because his soul was possessed by a demon.
There is no special violence. It happens in school and in the army, both at work and in rest homes, and even in politics. All forms of violence have the same root, and therefore it is better to consider it.
Domestic violence occurs not because people are collected in a depressing personality the Union called "family", but because people gathered together, the beginning of a beast is superior to angels. And family Institute nothing.Family, created for the glory of God, implies the existence of what is almost no of beasts – love.
But this is precisely the problem.Most families will not like a Church, and pride.
As for the pack of godless family has a leader – an alpha male or alpha female. Beta male or beta female. And so on through the hierarchy. And the relations in this family – as in jokes about husbands, wives, and mothers-in-law, whose life boils down to mutual biting and wrestling.
Young wife write that the husband must give flowers, to listen to the desires, to sit and spend hours looking in the eye. This married the love of self they consider true love.
Husbands complain that the wife is ungrateful, manipulating the light and eternally dissatisfied with everything. And that is the root of all discontent is its greed for money and passion to fool with friends outside the family.
Old people offended that nobody likes them, not listen and did not act on their own.
Kids like hunted animals, waiting for them all to have my revenge, starting with the elderly, or to escape from the wolf pit as far as possible.To date "a normal family" – all against all. And not the fact that domestic violence is men's business. Similarly, the family can torment the mother. Moreover, if a mother lifts a hand on children, the punishment is often more savage than the male.
In a flock it is impossible to determine who is right and who is wrong. As in Ingmar Bergman's "Autumn Sonata". All right and all the blame. To connect the Church to the fights in the pride completely wrong.The Church does not protect husbands from wives and wives from husbands. It has nothing to do with feminism or rights to unsupervised unruly children. It offers no quantitative regulation, and the change in the quality of relationships. In this new relationship people are not divided into proletarians and bourgeois, and not to men and women. The Church sees in men something in common that makes their nature similar to the angels, and reminds them that they are children of God.
Loving people understand that, if you hit a child, especially in adolescence, it may alienate him from his parents for years and even decades. The woman crushed by the fist of a drunken husband, will always be subconsciously afraid of it and hate and never forgive the humiliation and pain. The husband humiliates wife is angry, sooner or later will avenge her with a "bitter" and full return the favor.The Church does not want to tell who of the beasts have more rights. She wants the people simply ceased to be animals and remembered his divine greatness. With the word "should" leaves love
As new, higher organization, it offers no marriage and a wedding. Because marriage and wedding are two totally different things.
The marriage happens and the Gentiles, andthe wedding – only Christians
. Marriage is subject to property or psychological responsibility.A wedding is the basis of faith in God and love.Marriage answers the question: "Who owes whom?" And the wedding answers the question: "who likes Who?"
When it comes to the word "should" leaves the word "love"... It must be borne in mind when we start thinking about who in the family has something. Love is not a right and not a politician.
Family in the Christian ideal is a projection of the Trinity. Wedding is a contract with God between two people who ask the Lord to give them the assistant of a loved one and friend on the path of the procession in the Kingdom of heaven. Spouses promise to help each other, and God promises to help them both.When the pie is burned
If one member of a family breaches an agreement with the spouse and God, then the meaning of the wedding disappears. If the husband is a drunk enters a house and, as the devil, crushes, marriage is not only terminated on the merits, but it becomes dangerous for the family. It turns into cohabitation with a "living-dead" person on a particular calculation. It is not a joint movement in Heaven, and that the husband carries the falling into hell his entire family. There can be no rights and no love. I would live to be in this flock with its mad leader.Domestic violence is not an accident, it is the result of consecutive overlay errors.
It is caused by the fact, what part of the soul of the husband chose the other half. She was the companion in the Kingdom of heaven or something else? This time.
That put first the young husband and wife in the beginning. The love of God or love of self? That's two.Sometimes I look at how during the wedding ceremony the bride is eager to put his white Shoe on the towel first. She, will, wants to become the head of the family. And I think to myself: "Well, boy, you're in trouble. Took as his wife a bear". About any God here there is no question.
Was between them and God was between them His love for life, or they just used each other. She – as a producer and performer desires, and he was like a washing machine with additional options. That's three.
And when the pie was burned, come to the temple and say: "father, do with this burnt crust miracle. Tell us what to think about family violence?"What to do? Like a burnt pie to make normal? Human rights activists insist on the fulfillment of the law. But the Church has its own instruments – for example, love and miracle. Destroyed love could only be rescued by a revival of love.
But this requires live buds that have a chance to drive the new sprout. In the family, created to the glory of God, there is a chance to eradicate evil not by law, but with God's help. Because this kidney was embedded in its base.
People who remember God, know that He can undo the laws of nature, where wants. Living with family tyrants quickly realize that the situation can be improved a miracle. And they pray God for a miracle. But the miracle is a joint work of God and man. A miracle is a work crowned by faith.
However, the man is reluctant to admit his guilt in family drama, as, for example, in the famous verse:
His wife I'm not criticizing,
And will never leave her.
This to me it became bad,
Took her I'm good. (Oleg Grigoryev) Why don't you get tired angels
People who break the blame for discord in the family, mistakenly awaiting the action of God alone. What can He do?If people ate a bit and became a domestic tyrant, or a drunkard, he may refuse evil only for two reasons:
- if you find a replacement for the drunkenness and lust for power
- if he rashochetsya to do evil.
But in order to sick to enjoy the "demonic grace", not having his will, God should deprive him of this will. What does it mean? This means that the Lord needs to break the will of the sinner and turn him into a vegetable. And how differently if the sinner does not want to abandon evil? And is this the solution?
Another method is possible when those who live next to the home despot, gain patience, and bringing the miracle of God, inspiring the villain the spirit of love, which is stronger and fuller of the spirit of violence.For the spouse who saves a soul mate, life can become a story of a real martyrdom for Christ's sake. Of course, if he is ready for such a feat and is ready to cooperate with God.
A crutch is in his hands, and sometimes "in the head". No one pushes the cripple on crutches. Same story with those who have a crooked mind or heart. Loving husband should understand that before him the patient that requires treatment, first of all, love.As in Andersen's tale Gerda melted the heart of Kai. So here the path to the resurrection of love and hearts is through works and faith.
Remember the story, which is known all over Belarus, when the girl came to the front without arms, and the guy dumped her. As she became a Man with a capital letter. Because the guy loved. Because the girl loved. Because such people are loved by God.
I will say – it's hard. Yes, it's hard.
I will say – it is beyond human strength. Yes, it is.
I will say – it's impossible. No! Possible.
Those who live with drunks, life seems at times a living hell. Practice shows that the family's salvation is possible only in the case when the patient himself in moments of enlightenment repents and realizes his illness, a faithful wife and asking God for salvation.
Without an understanding of this salvific martyrdom is doomed to either spouse on divorce or the complete destruction of his personality – and their children.
Without this, all for nothing. In the clinch selfishness and evil there comes a time when demonic jig is up and a person enters into a deadly tailspin.
And then the rescue of others – only in divorce. Because, in this case, a life together – anything but the marriage and not the wedding. To save the form, in the absence of content – only to multiply evil.
But if the husband and wife remains a shred of consent to go with God to Heaven, God will definitely help and give strength.Why angels don't get tired? Because they do not save power. The wider open the heart to love, the more God pours in His helping grace. Dedication and openness to God– is the main characteristic of love.
Selflessness does not mean that your feelings, your thoughts and yourself you need to push the boot into the depths of the soul. No. All easier. Instead of the stuff that we mistakenly call "I", you need to let the treasure of God, the most important of which is Love. And having found them, to share with her husband.
Love to God and love to man is the basis of our life and the reason that Paradise can begin before the end of the world, right in our city, right in our family, right in our heart.published
Author: Priest Constantine Komyshany
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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