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How to deal with a husband who spends money on children from his first marriage
It would seem that they can son-children In any way affect the life of their father’s new wife? Turns out they can. Perhaps not on purpose, but the past still makes itself felt.
We write a reader who has a tangible problem in marriage, and all because of too “noble” spouse, who can not understand that he lives in a new family and look back so often is not worth it.
My current husband was divorced for three years before our marriage. Ivan has a young daughter and a wife who did not really work anywhere. They dispersed, by the way, on her initiative. You see, she wanted to get away from the routine. She is now a divorced mother with no professional skills.
My husband is absolutely fine with me. He is a good man, working, does not drink and does not have the habit of meeting other women, even "for friendship." But of course, dear ones. "Site"If everything was perfect, I wouldn't write to you.
My dear Ivan loves his daughter very much. It is for her that he pays alimony to his wife, which is a quarter of his income, even taking into account the bonuses of the company. Every year we try to go to the sea and relax. So, the rest with his daughter, he also takes financially. Add to this various courses, extracurricular activities and other nonsense.
No, don't think about it, I don't wish the girl any harm. On the contrary, I like that her father is not a typical snippy dad: he crippled a child and ran away. That’s good, but there has to be a limit. And the icing on the cake was his decision to give his half of the apartment, in which the child and mother live, daughters to come of age.
At first I objected: why does the woman with whom the child lives call herself a mother? She hasn't hit a finger in all this time. Is selling cosmetics and sitting on social media a job? Of course not. But, indeed, the girl is not to blame for the actions of her mother, and her living space will be useful to her. After all, an eighteen-year-old girl is actually a child.
When we had a baby girl, Vanya was very happy. Immediately we had a serious conversation. I proposed to reduce the percentage of his alimony, because our replenishment also required considerable financial expenses. Diapers, strollers, mixes... you know. He refused my request. After all, our daughter will grow up in a whole family, with adults. And his baby is with an infantile mother.
But he offered to buy our daughter an apartment, so to speak, for the future. Since he made more money than me, it was decided that he would give most of the money. I thought it was the right idea, and my claims stopped for a while.
After buying the apartment, it was decided to rent. Why not? It is still without special need, and money is not superfluous. We weren't looking for a realtor, but I did. We had a hat acquaintance, so I had all the organizational questions. A young, humble couple of calm students.
They agreed that the payment for the first and last month will be transferred to the card. And then the payment for each month should be transferred in the same way. I was not going to visit them, not such a person, but they will deal with the communal better than me: now everything is paid through the Internet.
The next month, I got a drop in rent, but the amount wasn't all. I was not surprised, they are new in the city, every penny counts. But I decided to call, explain. I was surprised when I found out it was different. My dear husband agreed with them that they should send a quarter of the fee to the card. That's right, his ex-wife.
The scandal was terrible. I screamed because I really couldn’t understand why this woman and her daughter wouldn’t leave us alone. The husband stubbornly repeated that this is a quarter of his income, because he gave more money, and in general, an apartment for our daughter, and with rent he can do what he likes.
I suggested dividing the rent into 2 halves, and let everyone do what they see fit. And then Vanya agreed. But then he said it would only be possible after the divorce. We will also share the property there. I stopped talking right away.
He kept saying, stay out of it. A daughter is a saint, and he should contain her with the best of options. And our daughter is his favorite, but she doesn't need anything. Here. Now I've been silent for a long time, and all the indignation boils inside of me. Ivan won't disappear after the divorce. What if I stayed with my daughter in my arms to be told about me: look what kind of man she missed, and why didn’t she like him?
We write a reader who has a tangible problem in marriage, and all because of too “noble” spouse, who can not understand that he lives in a new family and look back so often is not worth it.
My current husband was divorced for three years before our marriage. Ivan has a young daughter and a wife who did not really work anywhere. They dispersed, by the way, on her initiative. You see, she wanted to get away from the routine. She is now a divorced mother with no professional skills.
My husband is absolutely fine with me. He is a good man, working, does not drink and does not have the habit of meeting other women, even "for friendship." But of course, dear ones. "Site"If everything was perfect, I wouldn't write to you.
My dear Ivan loves his daughter very much. It is for her that he pays alimony to his wife, which is a quarter of his income, even taking into account the bonuses of the company. Every year we try to go to the sea and relax. So, the rest with his daughter, he also takes financially. Add to this various courses, extracurricular activities and other nonsense.
No, don't think about it, I don't wish the girl any harm. On the contrary, I like that her father is not a typical snippy dad: he crippled a child and ran away. That’s good, but there has to be a limit. And the icing on the cake was his decision to give his half of the apartment, in which the child and mother live, daughters to come of age.
At first I objected: why does the woman with whom the child lives call herself a mother? She hasn't hit a finger in all this time. Is selling cosmetics and sitting on social media a job? Of course not. But, indeed, the girl is not to blame for the actions of her mother, and her living space will be useful to her. After all, an eighteen-year-old girl is actually a child.
When we had a baby girl, Vanya was very happy. Immediately we had a serious conversation. I proposed to reduce the percentage of his alimony, because our replenishment also required considerable financial expenses. Diapers, strollers, mixes... you know. He refused my request. After all, our daughter will grow up in a whole family, with adults. And his baby is with an infantile mother.
But he offered to buy our daughter an apartment, so to speak, for the future. Since he made more money than me, it was decided that he would give most of the money. I thought it was the right idea, and my claims stopped for a while.
After buying the apartment, it was decided to rent. Why not? It is still without special need, and money is not superfluous. We weren't looking for a realtor, but I did. We had a hat acquaintance, so I had all the organizational questions. A young, humble couple of calm students.
They agreed that the payment for the first and last month will be transferred to the card. And then the payment for each month should be transferred in the same way. I was not going to visit them, not such a person, but they will deal with the communal better than me: now everything is paid through the Internet.
The next month, I got a drop in rent, but the amount wasn't all. I was not surprised, they are new in the city, every penny counts. But I decided to call, explain. I was surprised when I found out it was different. My dear husband agreed with them that they should send a quarter of the fee to the card. That's right, his ex-wife.
The scandal was terrible. I screamed because I really couldn’t understand why this woman and her daughter wouldn’t leave us alone. The husband stubbornly repeated that this is a quarter of his income, because he gave more money, and in general, an apartment for our daughter, and with rent he can do what he likes.
I suggested dividing the rent into 2 halves, and let everyone do what they see fit. And then Vanya agreed. But then he said it would only be possible after the divorce. We will also share the property there. I stopped talking right away.
He kept saying, stay out of it. A daughter is a saint, and he should contain her with the best of options. And our daughter is his favorite, but she doesn't need anything. Here. Now I've been silent for a long time, and all the indignation boils inside of me. Ivan won't disappear after the divorce. What if I stayed with my daughter in my arms to be told about me: look what kind of man she missed, and why didn’t she like him?
