The decision of a stepmother who does not want to live with her stepdaughter in the same house

Many people believe that There are no strangers. This axiom most often works when it comes to charity and volunteering. However, there are difficult life situations. For example, the wife is not able to establish contact with the child of her husband from the first marriage. What do we do then?

Recently, a letter from a reader came to our editorial office asking for help. She told us her story and doesn’t know what to do. And the topic, as you know, is quite ambiguous. We hope you will help us to solve this problem.



I have been married to a divorced man for a little over two years. This did not bother me at all, but on the contrary gave me more confidence in the person and his intentions. And everything was fine, until my betrothed-dressed man surprised me with interesting news.

“Anya will be here soon. She went to university and will stay with us for now. Maybe a couple of years, I don't know. We will see how it goes, said the husband. I'm just stunned. The news so disheartened me that it was as if the ground had gone under my feet. Of course, I was outraged: "Why would your daughter live in our apartment?"



The husband began to explain the situation, saying that the child needs somewhere to live, and renting an apartment is quite expensive. I asked her why she didn't stay in the dorm like all the other students. What's the big deal? I spent my whole college life in the same room with two friends. And it's okay, you did a great job! What's the problem?



My husband did not like my arguments. He was so angry that he literally blushed. “Don’t you think she’s the only daughter I’ve ever missed?” How will she live in a hostel, knowing that on the next street there is an apartment with all the amenities and her own father who is waiting for her?!

And then he said that he didn't care about my opinion about it and that everything was already decided. And that's where I got angry. What do you mean, don't care? So I don't have a say in such an important matter? I actually pay for this apartment just like he does. Cleaning, cooking, buying groceries. What nonsense?!



I never treated his daughter badly. She's a nice girl. But that doesn't mean I'm willing to live with her in a one-bedroom apartment where the two of us don't always have enough space. How does he imagine that? How will she prepare for couples? I am not talking about my married life!

“She’s not going to live here, you know!” was the last thing I said. And left. I don't know what to do. I couldn’t calm down for a long time, just some hysteria. Yes, they say there are no other people's children. But that's not the point! Not a girl at all. Why didn’t my husband consult me and decide everything on his own? Do I deserve to be treated like that?



To be honest, I'm so upset and angry with him that I'm willing to file for divorce. I don't see any point in wasting my life on someone who doesn't take my opinion seriously. In the future, he will always choose between me and my daughter. Guess who he'll choose in the end?

Mikhail Labkovsky believes that marriage with a divorced man is more likely to be happy. However, the psychologist says that a strong union is possible only if a woman loves and accepts her husband’s children from her first marriage. If that doesn’t happen, don’t expect the relationship to be strong.



Of course, in this situation there is another side of the coin. All important family issues should be resolved together, taking into account the views of each other. If this does not happen, it is not surprising that it can lead to serious disagreements and even divorce.

What would you advise the main character of today’s story? You may have experienced such problems. Please leave your comments at the bottom!