Why our mothers grew up in a love deficit and how to help them Bashny.Net

Not so long ago in social networks I came across the thoughts of blogger Olga Savelyeva about motherhood. Her words can not but touch the living, because Olga described the essence of motherhood through the prism of her own perception. She writes that there was a time when mothers and grandmothers simply couldn't give their children as much attention as they needed: Our grandmothers didn't like our mothers. They had no time: they worked, restored the destroyed cities. When there is no place to live and nothing to eat – not to the fun and not to hide”.

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The problem is that women raised in wartime did not know what motherly love and care were. So they raised their children in the same way that their parents did.



Modern parents take care of their children too much than they sign a sentence. Adult children, who have been cared for all their lives, begin to blame their parents for not achieving something as adults. The closest people to each other are mother and child. So their love is interrelated. For the child, the love of the mother is important, and for the mother, the reverse love of the child is also important.



Blogger Olga Savelyeva writes that the love of a child is like cashback from shopping. A very nice bonus, not something taken for granted. And when a mother says that she put her whole life into raising a child, it is true, but not a reason to love. Olga explains that you can not demand love as a percentage of deposits in the bank. To begin with, you need to love yourself not for something, but just like that: “Love is light.” You want to get light? Turn it on. Light up. Love.



There are no perfect parents, that is impossible. Everyone does everything for their family. And everyone wants recognition for so much time and effort, that's okay. When a child is young, he loves his parents as they are: they are hardworking or slackers with bad habits.



Only when the child grows up, he must take responsibility for his actions. Don’t blame your mother for making ends meet and not buying shoes like other girls. Needless to say, your father paid little attention to you when he was a kid, when he would come from the night shift and fall on the couch.



Everything that parents gave us, they gave because of their capabilities, circumstances, character, time. That doesn't mean they don't like us. It means they love their children, just not in the way you imagined. Be grateful for what your mom and dad gave you.



We are who we are because of our parents. Later, the personality develops in society and can fill the gaps in education that parents left in their time. Not because they didn’t want to love, because they couldn’t. Childhood grievances take too much time to spend hugging the closest person on Earth and saying,

“I love you and thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Mom.”