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Why criticism is so developed?
Because we are from early childhood accustomed that we are not perfect and need to improve themselves to achieve a certain ideal.
We are constantly shown these "ideals". This is the girl who beat the other student, is a successful businessman, is a woman caring for her beauty.
And all would be well, if not a substitution of concepts. Criticism does not encourage us to become better. She makes you feel bad, insignificant and unworthy.
To protect self-esteem begins to form toxic processes in the psyche. One part of a person attacks another, the "imperfect" part of it. Imperfect part suffers and resists. Affect is not because it is a psyche, it will be impossible to steer by hand. But notice the consequences of psychological trauma is quite possible.
But... it's all so accustomed to think that only having scolded yourself or a child, it is possible to obtain desirable changes.
Familiar, however, is fundamentally wrong and toxic.
It is necessary to maintain the dignity and self-esteem of a person. This can be achieved with the adoption.
When we learn to accept ourselves, considering themselves worthy of just by birth, we learn to set goals, if you want to implement. And these tasks will not include toxic inner chain: compare yourself with someone, attacking him, protection from the attacks eventually are no longer able to any achievement. All the strength left in the protection from them.
So, is the criticism constructive? I would put in another question: when is it appropriate?
It is obvious that the evaluation and criticism appropriate where to learn. You will learn things, and teach you the skills, training and honing your skills. Are institutions for adults. Not for children.
Children are very sensitive to valuation and depreciation. They can not defend themselves from comparisons, humiliation and criticism. Their sense of self itself is deformed. They learn toxic treatment with yourself and with loved ones.
School is good to get rid of the ratings. The school makes a considerable contribution to the General background toxicity between people. As I said, there we learn that to estimate the person — this is normal and correct. But it's not.
A good teacher is one who patiently and generously cultivates and promotes the need for life skills while avoiding criticism.
And in relations between people is a poison that spoils our life. Judge for yourself. What do you feel when you criticize?
What alternative is there? Yes, just talking about yourself, telling what we like and what doesn't. What is important to us and what is not. This live, human contribution to the relationship helps to ensure that occurs and trust. Criticism destroys relationships, making them formal and cumbersome for the participants of these relations.