743
ADDICTION IS A SUBSTITUTION OF LOVE
Seventy one million three hundred eighty four thousand six hundred fifty eight
We all are looking for love. And entering into a relationship with a man, experiencing in relation to it some strong feelings, we think we love. If these relationships often cause us pain, we have the idea that love is a pain, almost a disease.
Indeed, perhaps your relationship is sick. Only, most likely, the correct name is not "love" and "addiction".
The expression of dependence in the relationship
Dependence in a relationship is a permanent concentration of thoughts on a "beloved" person and addiction from this man. Relationships depend to a large extent determine the emotional, the physical condition of man, his health and relationships with other people. That is essentially the whole life of the dependent person is determined by these relationships. And influence these relations in life is not the best way. They make people unhappy rather than happy.
But, not being quite happy alone, with these ways, people connected their hopes for happiness! He hoped that all his mental suffering, self-doubt, all complexes will be cured by love. And for the first time, perhaps, it seemed that it just happened. But the feeling did not last long. The conflicts began, misunderstanding, dissatisfaction with the subject of "love" and herself. Without noticing it, people suffer more than suffering alone, and ahead of inevitable parting and the new big pain...
Why is this happening with a certain person, and history repeats itself in each new relationship?
This is because this person at this stage of his life – dependent.
...They met in school, in high school, wanted to get married. After school, began to live "a civil marriage". He became everything to her. She loved to paint and he did it well, wanted to be a designer. But to do that anywhere did not – need to focus and prepare, but it would have distracted her from it. He is the all – important thing in her life, It is the purpose and meaning of her life, she lives for him. I went to work – after all, they both had something to live for. He was admitted to a prestigious UNIVERSITY. They lived together for seven years – she worked, he studied at the University, then somewhere else. She cared for him, provided him with the best possible service and this has seen the meaning of his life. He learned, found a good paying job and a month broke up with her. For her it was a bolt from the blue – it was all so good! Next was the attempted suicide, unsuccessful. Saved her. After discharge from the hospital, life became drab, unnecessary, worthless – in fact it was not him. It all ended well, but not immediately. It's been a long road, but lost him, she had faith.
The essence of the relationship that the dependent person feels inferior, it needs to fill itself to Others, for it is a matter of life and death. He is willing to tolerate any attitude, but would not be rejected, but would not be alone. Love in a dependent relationship is a way to compensate for their own failure, and the spouse is an object meant to Supplement the failure to complete Ya.
"I don't feel that you live when you are not in a love affair with him (her)".
"I don't feel like a whole person without him (her)". Say dependent.
But this method never reaches the goal, because it cannot reach it in principle. Dependent relationships are narasimhamurthy. The task of filling yourself with another person is impossible, because internal consistency, completeness can be achieved only through the development of intrapersonal resources. Service to the other to oblivion not relieve it from its own failure. It is rightly said: "do Not make yourself an idol". Addiction is giving up on yourself.
We all are looking for love. And entering into a relationship with a man, experiencing in relation to it some strong feelings, we think we love. If these relationships often cause us pain, we have the idea that love is a pain, almost a disease.
Indeed, perhaps your relationship is sick. Only, most likely, the correct name is not "love" and "addiction".
The expression of dependence in the relationship
Dependence in a relationship is a permanent concentration of thoughts on a "beloved" person and addiction from this man. Relationships depend to a large extent determine the emotional, the physical condition of man, his health and relationships with other people. That is essentially the whole life of the dependent person is determined by these relationships. And influence these relations in life is not the best way. They make people unhappy rather than happy.
But, not being quite happy alone, with these ways, people connected their hopes for happiness! He hoped that all his mental suffering, self-doubt, all complexes will be cured by love. And for the first time, perhaps, it seemed that it just happened. But the feeling did not last long. The conflicts began, misunderstanding, dissatisfaction with the subject of "love" and herself. Without noticing it, people suffer more than suffering alone, and ahead of inevitable parting and the new big pain...
Why is this happening with a certain person, and history repeats itself in each new relationship?
This is because this person at this stage of his life – dependent.
...They met in school, in high school, wanted to get married. After school, began to live "a civil marriage". He became everything to her. She loved to paint and he did it well, wanted to be a designer. But to do that anywhere did not – need to focus and prepare, but it would have distracted her from it. He is the all – important thing in her life, It is the purpose and meaning of her life, she lives for him. I went to work – after all, they both had something to live for. He was admitted to a prestigious UNIVERSITY. They lived together for seven years – she worked, he studied at the University, then somewhere else. She cared for him, provided him with the best possible service and this has seen the meaning of his life. He learned, found a good paying job and a month broke up with her. For her it was a bolt from the blue – it was all so good! Next was the attempted suicide, unsuccessful. Saved her. After discharge from the hospital, life became drab, unnecessary, worthless – in fact it was not him. It all ended well, but not immediately. It's been a long road, but lost him, she had faith.
The essence of the relationship that the dependent person feels inferior, it needs to fill itself to Others, for it is a matter of life and death. He is willing to tolerate any attitude, but would not be rejected, but would not be alone. Love in a dependent relationship is a way to compensate for their own failure, and the spouse is an object meant to Supplement the failure to complete Ya.
"I don't feel that you live when you are not in a love affair with him (her)".
"I don't feel like a whole person without him (her)". Say dependent.
But this method never reaches the goal, because it cannot reach it in principle. Dependent relationships are narasimhamurthy. The task of filling yourself with another person is impossible, because internal consistency, completeness can be achieved only through the development of intrapersonal resources. Service to the other to oblivion not relieve it from its own failure. It is rightly said: "do Not make yourself an idol". Addiction is giving up on yourself.