"Share": the law of the sandbox, which can be broken Bashny.Net

There is such an absurd law education which is only a few years in childhood and in adulthood is perceived negatively.It is the law of the sandbox.

— Vanya, give the boy his shovel. Well, why not? He's a little kid. We need to share! What are you, greedy? Almost all parents, grandparents and all the surrounding children people believe that sharing their things and toys – is a must. And if you do not, then all you greedy.





I don't know where we got it. The legacy of the Soviet past, when everything in common, all of our? Some mythical conscientiousness of our people or childhood memories that meanie no one likes? But whatever the reason, this Maxim with time expires. Of the non-greedy children grow up to be quite a adequate? Well, think about it, weren't we greedy? No? Then give me Your view. or a car ride. For a while, I'll play and give. Honestly. No? The phone and the car is completely different?

When you're little and dig in the sand, it is necessary to unquestioningly give their stuff to anyone who asks. But time passes, and about the law of the sandbox forget everything. It turns out that children's utopian communism exists only inside of the sandbox, sometimes spreading to adjacent areas of the yard, kindergartens and guests, and only works at the very tender age. The same adults are not the same to Pat Ivan on the head, if he is happy to tell his parents shared at the school by phone or indoor shoes with his friend.

Then what we learn in the sandbox of their children? I have only one answer: the law of the sandbox "share, and then will be greedy" there is only a certain time in the minds of adults and only when mom is too lazy to delve into the situation and correct it.

Yes, it's just a shovel. And only the child's feelings, not just feelings, and the base.It's just a matter of security and confidence in the mother. The child may first sees another child and, in principle, wary of him, but the other child wanted his shovel and all, comes into force the law of the sandbox: it is necessary to share.

And mom takes out of the hands of Vani shovel and gives it to Peter. What makes the van? Ivan is a heart-rending howls. I very well understand it. If someone decided to take my car, I would have howled. That would've been twice as loud, if my mother with a look that brooked no objection, took it from my hands and I love the thing and would give my "friend".

Maybe someone will seem that I am exaggerating. But I really want to understand why a child needs to be ready at any moment to share his toy with a friend? I can understand why brushing your teeth, gently to behave at the table, put away toys, help mommy – all this will be useful in the future. But what about the sandbox?





The only thing useful there to buy – as is the ability to negotiate, to compromise. And how to negotiate with a man who is sure that you can violate the boundaries of others, that all things in common, which is the norm for an adult to pick up the toy and give it to a neighbor?

As a mother of many children, I know what it is and without any sandbox quite an acute problem in families where more than one child. Most acutely the question is at the age of 2-3 years, when the child only begins to realize himself as a personality. But the time spent on explanations at this age, will pay off in spades later on. It is now possible to teach him that is his thing, and there are those that he can't take or can take only a moment.
The most difficult age as good a time as any to teach him a compromise – the basic Foundation of a relationship.
 

Many moms are convinced that a compromise is when instead of your blades, they'll give you a rake. Very good lesson, but even better would be to reinforce his knowledge that:

• are your and other people's things
• another thing you can ask, but that doesn't mean you have to give
• your things you can not give if you don't want
• mom you can always trust their values

As shows my experience with children is already a child of three is pretty good learns these rules, if you advance it to cook, because from the age of three children start playing together. A child who from a very early age had learned them, not crying from the fact that it is not given, he calmly refers to the fact that instead got something else, and, oddly enough, these children are easier to share their toys, because they are convinced that all these rules are the same. And these rules start with the family.

Our family is fairly strict laws regarding different forms of ownership. It is nowhere recorded, but from time to time again.And most importantly, follow them all, absolutely all members of the family:

1. Each family member has personal belongings. Only him and no one else.

2. There are things that under no circumstances can not be taken (except that they will be asked to bring) phones, watches, wedding rings, etc. For each family, it can be other things, you assign them yourself.

3.Other people's things can be taken only with the permission of their owner. Great when all together to play them, but the owner can forbid someone to use his stuff, and it is his right.

4. If we buy toys, it makes no sense to buy the same, you can buy a different and then change (not forgetting rule number 3)

5. Toys all children are given at Christmas. Birthday gifts just birthday.

6. Our family treat can be divided at all. And if pocket money is not enough to buy ice cream to all my friends, you can buy a packet of biscuits or sweets to at all enough. Or not buy anything at all.

And here all are equal before law. My husband and do not take each other's phones, we respect children's things (even simple shovels) and never without permission will not give up any toy to another child. Therefore, we are to resolve any dispute is enough for children just to remind you these rules.

Junior has to talk longer. But even he knows that the word "alien" means – you can not share. Now he has learned to ask, but some time ago we together approached the child and asked him for a toy. And if its not allowed, I explained that it was a stranger and tried to divert, but not the other toy, and some activity: catch-up or down the slides.

Now the guys are playing pretty peacefully together, but everyone has their own boxes, notebooks, albums for drawing, some things belong only to them and even LEGO men have each their own anyway, the first time. Conflicts happen, but quickly pass. Discussion possible about the tastes, but it's pointless to argue with family life is like trying to change the world order. published

 

Author: Ksenia Danziger

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: //ponaroshku.ru/blog/podelis-zakon-pesochnitsy-kotoryy-nuzhno-narushit/