Delicious intimacy: keep the balance between Give and Take Bashny.Net

Every need has a reverse side. No surprise that even the most delicious and favorite foods can cause disgust, if you continue to consume, ignoring satiety.

In antiquity, this mechanism is very simply avoided using peacock feathers.But, whatever it was, the allocation must balance the uptake, lest disgust.





What is obvious with food, almost always ignored in the relationship. Meanwhile, the mechanisms satisfy the need for food work the rest of his life in other needs. And any, even the most magical and precious intimacy can overeat.

In General, this is the moment when a good idea to step back, to be in solitude.

Anyway to allocate received on Wednesday. But no! Why break away from the fun of the usual ways to get it? You can still insistent, still meticulously to grab the object (and at this point he's already really becomes an object) in an attempt to saturate that saturated.

Every need has a reverse side. The proximity is the distance of the border. Not being able to move, it is impossible to feel the appetite in a relationship.

Experiment. In the moment when You think, You very much need to be with a partner, get away from him. Walk down the street. Or just spend the evening in thought. Give yourself space and time. Allow yourself to get bored. Perhaps this is not enough for one evening. Or even one month. But I guarantee You that after this rapprochement with him You will experience completely different.

Just don't confuse neediness in the Other, the desire to feast at the expense of his own desire to give to Another.

You can give different. The laughter and tears. Grief and joy. Shame and pride. Delight and dejection.

And then the magic happens. Giving the fact that is also willing to give You get a Response! This togetherness is born. Something more the sum of the two parts. Something third. Something special.





Constant donation or acquisition of this third just yet. There I was-in need and You're filling.

There is something I want to take you. And then sooner or later I burst, ripping me apart, I lose integrity.

If it is still on my need to respond, and will fill me.But often it is otherwise: acute need on the one hand, and the promise to fill the other. A promise that never turns into action.

In Gestalt therapy there is a mechanism interrupt pins: profilaxia. This is when I do to others what you need yourself. While subconsciously hope that they are in response to my actions also will begin to treat me, but he's come out and ask. But in the case of "gluttony" to consciously apply a little modified Proflex quite adaptive. Because the absorption is finally beginning to give way to the selection. And there are already close to "do to others what you want to do for him, but he has the choice to take it or refuse."

I want to wish You the best of life, balanced on a scale of "take-give". The equilibrium of life. published

 

Author: Tatyana Demyanenko

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©

Source: www.b17.ru/article/72033/