The ability to part

And they lived happily ever after.
And died one day.
(Distributed finale of children's tales)
One of my great friends wrote a relationship note -- a very true observation, in my opinion.Women are not taught to break up, leave relationships, or even just keep their distance..

From a woman is expected that in a relationship she will always “go to the end” – that is, to a sacrificial and all-consuming love for life. It will hold, regardless of all objective circumstances and subjective feelings. This is the whole point of its existence – “to build a strong and long relationship”. It is strong and long - because, how else?


I don’t mind a long and strong relationship. I'm not going to call for "free love," for loneliness, for guest marriages, or whatever. But damn it, Why are we not given the right to one day, with a clear conscience and quiet sadness in our hearts, say to ourselves, “Yes, I made a mistake, this is not what I need” and just leave? To leave permanently or to move to another distance - it does not matter, the main thing - do not carry the blame and self-loathing for the fact that "the Most important project failed." That it didn't work. That "all over again." Of course, some will say, who doesn’t? Don’t like it – go away, like it – endure, what kind of whining? Undoubtedly, women learn to leave and end relationships. Divorce has become commonplace, and few expect "first love" to last a lifetime, with children and granddaughters. But, as they say, “it is in the air.” It is still believed that “a woman should invest in a relationship” if she is counting on any happiness there. This man can look, test, forgive the expression, “keep as a backup option” and even live together for years, enjoying all the benefits of living together until “better”. A woman can not save on investments and be careful.

First, We are constantly reminded, from the age of seventeen to the final “release” that our beauty and attractiveness quickly passes, that our biological clock is ticking, that an army of young and willing to do everything is on the way – so what do you think and choose, a woman of about thirty years? Grab it, run it, build it! Do not give more than one in one hand!

Secondly, We must not dare to keep our distance. You know all these jokes about how a woman on a first date will necessarily come up with a name for the second child together by the end of the evening? That's it. A woman cannot strive for an easy, non-binding relationship - this is a purely male privilege. Only Love-On-All-Life, and be sure to overcome adversity, to wait for Him, to be sure to go to the registry office, so that immediately the children - and neither, do not shirk here from the Real Women's Happiness!

Another friend of mine shared a funny story: Her partner, with whom she had just such a relationship, with no big strategic plans for the future, was sad that we met only once a week. No, he didn’t want anything more, everything suited him, but he was worried – why wouldn’t she? This man can be "lonely" living with one woman and dating two more. This man can forget about the date because he has serious man business. He may not call, although he promised, and then fall like snow on his head because he has a window in the schedule - and he sincerely expects a woman to wait all this time at a low start.

Waiting, putting it all down. And in anticipation chooses the names of the children and the style of the wedding dress.





It is no wonder that with such introductory women, many women – both intelligent and sensitive, and responsible – simply do not understand what it is like to break up? It is impossible to abandon a house built on bricks with your own hands, except that it is very bad - fire, war. After all, so much energy has been invested, so much resources, finally - the most important thing - time, priceless years of a short human life - and the parting seems like the end of life, as if if to part - it turns out, everything is in vain, and it was not life, nor love, nor family. "A breakup is a small death."

And here I note another interesting phenomenon: Relationships for women in principle should not end. This man can leave, and with the click of the door closed behind him in his life, the former love disappears with all the weight of the past - the woman seems to have to "pause" after that. I know a lot of funny stories when someone like that came back a year, two, five years later, and I was very surprised that during that time a woman moved, changed three jobs, got married, divorced, got out again and even had a child. How? After all, he remembers that he left her here, on the couch, by the window, all in tears. And now nothing has passed ten years and she has forgotten it, a vile liar? “I realized you never really loved me!”

But I know a lot of tragic stories when a woman really stayed there on the couch by the window. The tears dried out, the seasons changed outside the window, some life went on, some work was done, and they all waited and waited for Him to understand his mistake and come back. Clinging to every random call, chance meeting. By the way, all this is expected of a woman and others, “True love never ends!” Sometimes, contrary to the songs, even real death is not a reason to end the relationship – after all, to start living after that, it is necessary to “betray the memory!” and “How could she?”

Our life does not begin with the arrival of a man, and our life does not end with his departure. Relationships may be a lifelong project, or they may not be.

After all, we just have the right to make mistakes.published



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

Source: femunity.livejournal.com/197153.html