LIFE NEED TO USE!

Climbing Kazbek MOUNTAIN is CALLING Part 5B continued:

  • Climbing Kazbek. The PURPOSE and MEANING. Part 1
  • Climbing Kazbek. The PURPOSE and MEANING. Part 2
  • Climbing Kazbek. EMERGENCY. Part 3
  • Climbing Kazbek. THE MOUNTAIN IS CALLING. Part 4
What I shouldn't say this out loud? That is not desirable (contraindicated) to implement. It's been two days of our trip, and a pattern became clear. If something is pronounced, it will manifest immediately, and very soon. About a jar of Coca-Cola has been mentioned many times, but there were a lot of other things. Cost of something to say-quietly, in a low voice, someone who never even heard of, performed a desire. Therefore desires and dreams it was useful to speak, and the fears and anxieties to keep quiet.






But we, although we understood this, still often spoke of danger and death. Joked even. I honestly did not feel how serious it is.

Perhaps inside every man lives the children's confidence that it will always be. It is impossible to imagine (although I try from time to time, and I have this breathtaking as from sight into the abyss) that this beautiful World will exist after me. Without me. Everything will remain the same, disappear, only its reflection in my personality. For the World – a small loss, such reflections it may travel billions.

And for me? And for me, that's all. No me – no World. Nothing. Meanings are lost, and vanish forever. Of course, if you do not talk about the Soul, about her experience and how it remains after death. And no one really knows nothing. Of living. Therefore, the feasibility of risk – very Meritoriously question.

On the one hand, why jeopardize something that only you have – LIFE? And on the other how to resist the road that had led here, and why fight it? Has led, so I need it, and the rest of that with me too.

Everyone here has a purpose, and it is not clear if he knows about it his EGO? I'm not sure I understand why we got here.Didn't even try to formulate, but when I back home, asked: "Why?" shrugged their shoulders and said "Want." Why do you want and who wants inside of me – was hoping to understand then, after the fact. By the way, this position I have helped – its advantage is that it is not possible to manipulate the impression to pre-prepared solution, and instead to be open, receptive, sensitive. And at the end to get more buzz, and more unexpected experience.

Yes, and the main argument for me is: LIFE NEED to USE! Sense to store it as a canned food for a rainy day?

The closer to the Kazbek, the more mention of those who remained here forever. In the form of crosses, memorial plaques with engraved names dates. Sometimes with poems. And it's not for everyone, but only those whose friends and relatives decided to hold it here in place of death, to perpetuate their memory.

In fact, even only once at the first Parking lot at the monastery, I was amazed at how many people aspire to climb MT. We are heading to the source, talked about it with the Wolverines: "I see a lot of people go there, and I'm even disappointing... it seems that we are on this background not so unique."

I had a similar feeling, but it gave more surprise – "Wow, how many of us are!" I then said something like that no matter how many people there were, it still – 100 thousand percentage of those who live their usual-usual life in the towns and villages of the valley. Go on vacation — except the sea. Or never leave their city-village. And that, in my opinion, should be proud that we are in that miniscule percentage. He carries the gene for travelers-researchers, which allowed humanity to cross the sea and transshipment through the mountains, exploring new territory. Now we hardly can find fresh Light on the surface of the Earth, all isogene our predecessors. However, for us there are not less interesting direction – inward. External trigger Internal road Path. And the higher up, the deeper inside yourself.




 

In the morning everything became clear. We are without a guide. He told the group about her condition (which has worsened) and about his decision to come down. He was up all night coughing, inflammation of throat descended, the cough was bad. Given the altitude – threatening. Then people could for a few hours to die from pulmonary edema.

Conductor — a man of duty, and it was a tough decision for him. He took upon himself the obligation — to raise our group and then to descend in full force. He felt that on him the responsibility for our safety. And it bothered him to see his own vulnerability and the danger to himself. So he pulled so long and dared to come up here with us. "Then I thought, what would I do if I had such a party — he told us — and the answer was clear – to pull!".

 

We sat in the morning circle, with cups of hot tea and felt the cold breath of the snow-covered ridges sloping down to us in the valley. And bitterly looked at the white dome of the Kazbek. The expedition dejectedly listened to the conductor, taking deep breaths, something was shown. His vision of the situation, my own feelings or about what to do next. The first lone Wolf had volunteered to accompany the Children's Father down, but the conductor said to him: "You take care of your knees, once they have you, make themselves known, you may even have to run." ... and how the water looked. Supernova – also expressed the initiative — there was no objection, and we decided together to accompany the guide, divided into three weight of his backpack. And return back so that we can decide what to do next.






After discussion, I, as the main "social Director" recalled the Father of the Children, we departed from the camp again to see what could cause such a reaction of the body – a disease with which to go further it was impossible. We were looking for psychological insight, he told his the situation of Affairs there, a great life and a bit personal, I also looked who might be interested in this turn, and most importantly — from what we this situation insures. We went through the reasons, wondering not so much why it happened, how much — for what? Why, for whom such a situation? And how to treat it?

It turned out that this year his mount a second time does not let up and the rafting it more to your liking. I saw not his light green vlisco and remembered all of her dream, realizing back, back, turn... for some reason He's unsafe, despite all the experience and his competence – it saves the disease from something worse.






Sign?

About characters I have no particular opinion. I often use that word ironically, to reduce the pathos. Sign – it sign that it can be differently interpreted. Can as a warning. And also as a challenge. If someone takes on a unique interpretation, then I find it funny. But now clouds were gathering — it's clearly. Walked in circles, swirled and teased, this night was crying rain on our tent. They have no emotions, clouds. They were crying not for us, not our fate, they are not predicting the future. So I wanted to think.

By the way, under tears of rain I finally managed to sleep - for the first time since I left home. Because the tension in the room and my balance? Or maybe because I before you go to sleep, I, too, long and in detail talked to the conductor about which roads we were brought here as intertwined, and what it all his life.

The Covenant of the conductor before the descent down was: "Be together. Do not break the group. All up – it means everything. If one is down it all too". I, honestly, was not entirely clear. You need to focus on who before turn sour? As-that unfairly turns out... But life is fair, if VERY large – that is, when viewed from a GREAT height. So it is not all rose, but everyone who was, still was on top.

Since returning to the camp, communicating with each individual, I persistently tried to dissuade (you can even say so) of each, checked his intention by reminding that there is always a chance to abandon the ascent. So I have specified as the desire to each his own. And once again I offered to reconcile your desires with the circumstances: "look: the desire was that other – that man downstairs, which you have been recently. And now here he is not, there is one who has passed half of the way is you. As it is plain his desire – maybe it was a whim, a whim? Look closely: what did the journey with those who wanted Kazbek: tempered him, strengthened, wore him out, de-energize, led to philosophical reflections or opened Zen? Maybe he already had? Or "pour" some more? What I want EGO, how does the outfit, and that says a body?"

You could even say that I did everything that it was possible not to go on Kazbek. Yes, you can "change your mind" and not to meet any hint of condemnation from others. I really wanted to, especially in these circumstances, it became clear that to my mind, too. It was like that the decision to go to the Top you had to take each day anew. People were coming in constantly changing circumstances: weather, high-altitude climatic zone, the composition of the group... most were so new that they could not know in advance the capabilities of their resources. I also wanted to be very gentle to deep their elections, so as not to frighten their feeling, not to turn this ascent into the sport and not to create gregarious atmosphere. Such mysteries (laboratory of human development) aim to withdraw from "the matrix", but not because to be part of the structure is bad. To do this, not in antagonism to society – no, and give a feeling of ownership of their own choosing at every point of his life. Be aware of own choice to be where you are, and be who you are. Removing from the perspective of a victim of circumstances, removing toxicity ideas about error and about the conditionality of decisions circumstances.

Conductor of the Children's Father finally suggested that we stand right there for a couple of days and then descend to the monastery. Try your hand, walking in crampons on the glacier (it's very close here — it can be seen, if you walk 30 minutes up the trail), and even, perhaps, to reach the weather station. Go to the top, he categorically did not advise of the experienced fighters we have already two (Supernova and Talking With God). The remaining five experience or zero or aspires to. The group is not ready, the training is weak, why the extra risk?

"I was thinking how to tell you about it, analyzed your feelings – maybe it's jealousy? You stay, I go down, but no. If there is something, the percentage is negligible. More – I fear for you. You really do not know what will face".

On this optimistic note the Explorer was going down. Your backpack it was divided into three, he was lying there all shared the climbing equipment – ropes, carabiners. He was supposed to go down to Stepantsminda and their health. Was hoping for a lower altitude he'll feel better. And then, three days later, he was prepared for another ascent to the monastery, and wait for us there. We, after spending a little here, too, come down and then the whole team would have stood in this beautiful place, and certainly not lost to time. In the Arsenal is quite an interesting practice. Just a mystery "I the Top" transformed into something else. These were good plans.

Judging by the mood of the group, while Kazbek itself was never popular. Or not talking about it. I have suggested that the only exception was a Lone Wolf, and this was confirmed by further circumstances. Wolverine and Playful Fox, it seems, were willing to accept what is. Surrounding the majestic beauty, the unprecedented scale vzdelavaci around the vertices and so given enough food to emotions – to a first approximation the feat took place. Little red riding Hood did not Express their wishes, but, in my opinion, it is here not very cozy feel. Supernovae too aware of the threat to break up, no matter what. Talking With God was going to follow the group, without imposing their desires. I? Inside of me everything seemed to be. I haven't realized his feelings – it was unfortunate that the adventure would end so ignominiously for us, but at the same time relieved. And what is more – is unclear.

The conductor was accompanied by down Sahis and Supernova. The rest of the program. Lone Wolf with the red Cap has mysteriously collected backpacks and left, the wolverines found a valley, where he decided to be alone. Over two hills, limiting it from both sides, flowed the two rivers and merged into one. She decided to stay there in private practice - the vision quest. We with a Playful Fox wandering around the neighborhood, taking candid conversations about life.

On the descent we met the legendary grandmother-athlete, which language does not turn to call grandma, although she is 77 years old. It is well done with good strong young men, and something hot and tells them – that's the arrangement my grandmother is 77!
We caught up with her – Yes, it is. Anastasia — Soviet multiple ski champion, two times of the year definitely goes to the mountains in summer and winter, more in the Carpathians, but when there is money, then going with friends on a serious expedition type Elbrus, Kazbek or Himalayan peaks. But, if you know anything about the mountains, the Carpathians in winter are harsher than Elbrus in the summer.

And the next was the guys from Ukraine. They have 10 days was torn apart by different Caucasian ridges – these go straight to the station from 1700 to 3600 meters. Ate nuts, rejoice for her, there is a sweet atmosphere of kinship and misdecodes his people. Such a distinct and clear sense that here I am at home and people everywhere, I wrap it in the mountains. I don't need to know these people personally and unimportant their biography is so insignificant on the background of my gratitude for what they, too, here. They love what I love and I go on overload, precisely because of their ability to happiness and enjoyment of life so deep – that we all know here that it's worth it.

For me, the people living in these altitudes, never cease to be his. I know that in this field of relationship actually never happen neither meeting nor parting is all for the lowland areas, for painful personal relationship to the love and drama. Here is only recognition. Recognition is to recall. As if we remember – that's how it is – remembering, learning – we take what is understood about this experience. So we're not breaking up with someone you knew – it all becomes part of our way even if we were not touch at all.

Here, my bell, lives that uniting love, which is always one-way. Therefore, no errors, no disappointment, no betrayal is impossible in these realities. So, of course, I don't think the plains inhabitants, they watch movies and read about about climbing, but they live in a world where a lot of "high bottom" and they do not understand that those who are coming up full of gratitude for involvement. But to watch a movie is not interesting — it's interesting to go through. But TV viewers is usually the plain people, they need someone else's pain – that it to see and to feel ownership of heroic events. When artistic movie about climbing see these climbers, they often say: "No, people don't behave like that, and a condescending smile — and if they are, the space just spits them."

Talking with Anastasia, I looked at her posture, her young companions, her strong tanned calf — any traces of varicose veins, typical of people in this age. The woman is a legend — she knew the whole mountain. "So my sprout", I thought.

Interesting paradox – on one of these trips, you can approach man very much. While almost nothing about him not to know. About his past life, about work, about the number (or absence) of children, marriages and valley habits. Especially no time to talk about it, and desire is not always quite enough, as the man manifested here. For its understanding, for fellowship with him. But the curiosity remains, along with the desire to satisfy the curiosity of others, if they ask. Usually at the end of the mystery place of practice "Square Johari", where you can confide and ask questions, and the most unexpected and inconvenient. Sometimes, participants make many discoveries about themselves and their travel companions. This time things turned out differently, this was not a great final point though, she was supposed to. The events that occurred in the group then made this practice impossible... sorry.

And we have the Fox were almost the same but eye to eye. The wolf and little Red riding Hood, too, presumably, was to confide in the way, and probably did, but the results are unknown to me.

The day before, when we had just gotten this place, the first time I saw the Glacier. He slipped a dirty-yellow tongue in the valley and from there rapidly oozing with saliva, forming the river — a muddy waterfall. They menacingly have Kurhotel huge boulders. It was far below, that it was possible to observe, with bated breath. The gorge was deep and dizzying led back the way we came. Us, if we continue the Way was up – it was possible to ascend the Glacier and programatica on its surface, breathless sensations inconceivable antiquity and from the fact that frozen water is fraught with its crystal memory of how unkempt our ancestors hunted saber-toothed tigers. Or, (if no inclination to historical narratives), look carefully at your feet, not to end up in a crack, or simply not to slip and not roll down, tumbling and tearing itself spikes cats.






I've never seen a Glacier, and had no idea that my life would happen. In less than a month since then, as I felt the breath of the Judean desert. Now The Glacier. What a miracle the modern World and my life in it! Indeed, it is more than I can think of, and thank my God! He does everything for me correctly. ...So I thought, approaching the Glacier. I didn't know where will be on our Way, I wanted to see him up close, to touch, to know another pole – the one where everything freezes from the cold and keeps its secrets for millions of years, with the previous ice age. Or at least last winter...

They say that the glaciers of the Earth are melting, and the snow caps of mountains are reduced. They say that our children might not see this beauty. The terrain of these places will change so that Kazbek will be impossible to ascend, and even to approach him – it is impossible. So don't take this opportunity is a sin. In short, the Glacier was an Event.

On the way up was no grass, only flowers, like daisies, happy white-yellow smiles among the stones. Several streams crossed the stony wasteland, fancy wriggling into the already sterile stones. Whispering their stories, murmuring through teeth stones. We didn't know their language, listening only to the music. And spoke of his human love stories, births, quarrels, reconciliations, hopes and disappointments of relationships. That is salt and sugar of our lives, and the Glacier with all its eternal wisdom indifferent was our background.

We met people and we told them "hi!", because to say the detail was not the intention, and this greeting was clearly understood by all, to clarify why particular nationality, then this all didn't matter. One pair of very Mature years, asked us the way to the station, adding that they still long to go, and stay not, because they backpacks, you can get there today. And I was glad for them – they made a very difficult journey at that period of life when physical strength is not in excess. And at the same time noted that they are sending your Luggage on the horses are jealous of us now, walking idly and do not hurry. They even through the Glacier and further. But they looked tired and proud.

We Fox and our secrets walked for a long time. Reached the Glacier, and I had the feeling that I had done everything right to this point. Else it would be abuse of power will shift unnecessary heroism. It still had a lot, but I did, of course, did not know.

According to my own clock (internal intuition), we walked for a long time, six hours, no less. I have noticed that the time thing is malleable, and its length depends on the number of live human experiences-emotions-feelings.

The more – the longer the minutes, days and years. The smaller – the faster running time.

That is, to subjectively live longer need to experience a greater number of impressions. How they afford to provide – the second question. Can – the breadth, traveling and trying new things out. You can go inside, and this is the path of meditation, and here it is only in nuances. The attention to details of life. Because the journey, even the most surprising can survive in full nesoznanku... And different. Everything is possible, it is a matter of choice.

When Fox returned, one of ours has not been what I was very surprised, and pleased at the same time. Didn't want to talk, to communicate, to discuss something. I wanted to retire to the tent to warm up (although we're not frozen), freeze. Something overtook me, I felt the Approach. To shut out, deny it had no meaning, it was necessary to be alone and to meet.

I'm a little frost, this meant that the walk was a success. Power spent quietly, but meaningful. Something has taken place. These high mountains have embedded in me and I in them. I was lying in a sleeping bag, polypal, progresia I was cozy as a nest, lined with down, this land used to babysit me. Around the tent people were walking, talking, it didn't bother me, I dreamed. And I waited.

It came, this feeling, is ready to I realized. It was Regret and Sadness.

"You're here, whispered Sorry, you're so close, and you will not rise to the Top, shining in front of you? Than all will end so ignominiously? You go down and...? You'd come all this way? Flew across the sea, came up, carrying a heavy backpack, in order to touch the Glacier... down? How sad..." I was in the tent, I felt comfortable and infinitely sad, I cried, resigned to the fact that Yes... YES! So... I'm going down, not rising. It's ...bad? Or what? I don't feel like a loser, I knew that I will abide by whatever course of events, but knew that the pain will remain and I will have (want!) back. To climb. Not in this life, the next. Didn't want to leave the tails, but to argue with fate did not want.

The tears spilled. It's peace of mind. Adoption.

Then Sahis said, it seems to gornyashka, I told her that I must live always in gornyashka. Approaching something that I can't understand or accept, or pass, or achieve, I'm crying — Taking. I'm in my inner Journey climb to your own Top and sometimes realize that I don't have enough forces. Accept your weakness, and then it is different. Or I remain on the reached level, but without resistance or remorse or ...Way opens the gate, and I go further.

The evening of this day was unexpected.

Returned Sahis and Supernova, tired, hungry and with a sense of accomplishment. Wolverine is back, refreshed, as if washed by two rivers, the confluence of which she sat for so long. Back Lone Wolf and his Red riding Hood. From them and went boost.

"We need to go to the weather station — confidently said Lone Wolf, There's real life. There is another. There is what we walked. All groups that date back to the Top there. These kind of people. To communicate with them – expensive! From there you can go to the chapel, and then on the Icy plateau. And there – as will develop. Need to go!"

He was inspired, confident and joyful.

"Well,' said Sajis, I love when male leads. If you say it is, we go where we can go."

We argued a bit about whether to go with things, or first to go for exploration, leaving base camp at the same place, but then collectively decided that if we go up there without the things that had clearly not gunpowder to return for them. That is, in the near future, our fate was sealed.





Lone Wolf, was glad the group consisting of an unabashed August snow women so readily agreed to go to the Kingdom of ice. Even though he is this kind of joy does not Express, but I could feel the excitement throughout the motility of his movements. He breathed in the nostrils chilling barren expanse, and ignited the atmosphere of the feats of those heroes that lived there in the base camp above the glacier at the weather station. After all, he was there today with the red Cap, and we are still there. And because it was going slowly, as girls who have left another "naked dress."

Unworn dress, of course, had our crampons. Lugging pounds of iron up the slope and not "shoot from this gun" — that would be a clear contempt of their resources. And the girls will return with Kazbek without photos in cats – so this is a crime. Vertex vertex is a question entirely separate and walk their outfits to join at least in form to vertex people-demigods in snow and ice during the summer we like very much!

To be continued... posted

 

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Authors:Natalia Walicka(italics), Julia Golovkin(direct print)

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: valitskaya.com/wp/

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