As the father affects the fate of the child Bashny.Net

On the influence of the mother on the baby's fate is written a lot. Less has been said about the role of the father. However, in recent times, psychologists are exploring the relationship between father and child, the influence of the parent on the fate of his offspring. Has already proved the relationship of the emotional state of the father and the child, the influence of the behavior of the father in the embryonic period of fetal development... it used to be that the main role belongs to the mother because she carries the child, nourishes and educates. About my father wrote a lot of Freud, emphasizing the image of a powerful king, ruler, shadow imposed on the fate of the children.


And it is true that sometimes fathers have a sinister impact on their offspring, causing their offspring to misery and death: a Greek myth tells of the God Cronus, who had the unpleasant habit of eating their newborn Chad — he was afraid of the power. Only Zeus was able to save his mother's gay — savvy mother filed a bloodthirsty Kronos is baby stone wrapped in swaddling cloth. All myths reflect the realities of human destiny, they are all archetypal — Jung thought so. Horror stories can be read in the biographies of great and famous people. The artist, Karl Bryullov, the author of "Destruction of Pompeii", a child was very sickly and scrawny child. To strengthen his poor health, the doctors advised to put the boy on a pile of sun-warmed sand in the garden; in this pile next great artist spent his days. One day, who knows what the enraged father ran to the boy and slapped him a slap in the face that Bryullov was left deaf in one ear for life. Often he bitterly recalled this story, especially marveling at the fact that his father's act had like no reason and was the result of normal everyday irritations. Personal life Bryullov happened unfortunately, he suffered, according to the researchers, alcohol addiction and died relatively early, despite the success of their talented works... Oscar Wilde, playwright and writer, became a rich man thanks to his creative talent. He did not descend from the stage of theaters, poems and novels were translated into all European languages. He was handsome, well educated, had a family: wife and two sons. And suddenly, the ridiculous story associated with homosexual adventures, court and prison, Wilde seemed to especially have made such actions which could not lead to the gloomiest plot development, to the disgrace and imprisonment, from which he emerged a broken man and died in poverty and loneliness. I wrote about the strange suicidal behavior of people who are under the influence of the program of death, they do things that may not sooner or later lead to a tragic outcome, they unconsciously seek to ruin and pain. "First, psychological death, then social, then — biological" is a law of psychology. And in the childhood the father of Oscar Wilde called him a cute nickname "nosing", i.e., "nothing". In General, it wasn't even a nickname, but the real name is different dad to son simply did not apply All: career, health, good name, money, everything was sacrificed to the father Kronos, together with the very Oscar for nothing.As the Pope ordered, in fact. Another English writer, Rudyard Kipling, author of beloved "Mowgli," was very Patriotic and was very combative. He wrote poems, encouraging soldiers to die in battle for the "white man's burden", that is, English colony, personally ran before the formation of the military, calling out their inspiring verses, extolled the courage and ruthlessness of the "Superman" — British soldier. And when the war started, the first thing sent on the death of his own son. This zloschastnogo a young man taking something the army didn't want, he was so nearsighted, did not see anything without glasses. In addition, Kipling's son was lame and suffered from tuberculosis. Is it any wonder that, taken into the army at the demand of his father, Kipling Jr. died in one of the first battles. What, by the way, very pleased with his brutal father. Since Kipling did that boasted of the heroic death of his son, had the pleasure of writing in the newspaper, spoke before the public, without expressing any signs of grief, and calling on other fathers to follow his example. Another romantic poet, glorifying the conquistadores and the brave travelers, the hunter of lions and a participant in the political conspiracy, Nikolai Gumilev also belonged to the children is rather strange: according to the memoirs of Irina Odoevtseva, the year that way in 1919, in the midst of devastation, famine and civil war, he visited the orphanage and asked whether they include children. — As far as possible in these difficult times... — said the head of the orphanage.
— Well, then I will bring you to your three year old daughter — said the poet. — We with the wife somehow tired, you know how much children need attention... And feed's still necessary!
The poet himself, by the way, eat in underground restaurants, ordering, as a rule, soup, the steak, and then often requiring repeat... He called it "Make gargantuesque meal." The accompanying poetess Odoevtseva he always generously ordered a Cup of tea... the Soviet authorities poet hated, tried here, even the conspiracy to arrange, for which he was executed, but her children and family quietly sent to a shelter, the authorities and organized for orphans, homeless. It seems incredible that attitude to my own children but actually devastating and disastrous impact of fathers and even murder their own children is not so rare in the world. The animal psychology Konrad Lorenz describes aggression of males towards their offspring. Often the female has a threat to their own lives to protect their puppies or hippos from the evil and bloodthirsty father. In the world of people, some dads are literally ready to eat their children, and if not possible to destroy in a different way. In the Roman Empire, the father had complete authority over their children. If he wanted to, he could sell them into slavery or to kill and not to suffer for this any legal liability. That's really what the neighbors would look askance, and be done with it. For the names of servants, slaves and children used the same word, it all meant. So the poor children had to rely solely on conscience and love for his father, to intercede for them, the state was not going to. In our Russian history, the conflict of fathers and children, too, were darker than described by Turgenev in his social-psychological novel. Ivan the terrible just killed his son, then really worried, clamped a bloody hand and staring eyes, we know the painting of Ilya Repin.


The son, however, life is not returned. And the great Tsar-reformer Peter the great is also executed his son on suspicion of involvement in the conspiracy to overthrow his crowned father. And with pleasure been present during the torture of his own son - it was to conspirator called accomplices! Such historical examples are myriad. The fact that some fathers subconsciously ( and sometimes consciously) hate their children and wish they were dead. With centuries to kill their children became unsafe, the laws have changed, so the evil aggressor finds new ways and forms of destruction of their offspring. "You're weak, you bastard, you'll never amount to anything!" — here is a typical example of paternal aggression and hatred. "What are you licking him all, let him get used to solve your own problems!" "As a child I was whipped, and you're obsessed with him!"... Hitler, by the way, too, daddy flogged for educational purposes. So flogged that young Adolf for a few hours was unconscious. What brought these methods of education, said the history of mankind. Under the guise of sports and instilling the courage of the father mocks the helpless and defenseless child, insults him, the program inspires a terrible future, and in fact, early death. So, one of the brave and brutal dad taught his son to skate. Showered him with insults, derogatory nicknames, and eventually cracked son on the head with a skate. Expensive, by the way, the hockey skate itself for a child bought for his son was did not mind... Remember, the aggressor always finds socially acceptable, plausible explanation of his sadism: "I wish him well!". Even such a man does not acknowledge, that he is driven by jealousy, envy, hatred, desire of death. During the — even not pregnant — conception, the father brings his contribution in shaping the destiny of a child is already proved by psychologists. And the people knew this for centuries. The father of the unborn baby has required so much psychological rules of conduct that are not listed. During the delivery, the expectant father had to remove almost all his clothes, untie the ribbon, to unlock gates and doors, and sometimes to scream and yell along with the woman. Sometimes midwives involved in childbirth, has put the future father near a labouring wife, so the practice of joint childbirth has a long history. Some fathers have themselves experienced severe anguish, abdominal pain, and attempts, as described by researchers of Russian folk medicine. The fact that he received full confirmation! And most importantly — the father had to be willing to want to birth into the light, as if to wait and to welcome him in our earthly world. And now you probably know that the unwillingness of the father to have a child, his advice about the fact that it would be better, they say, to get rid of unnecessary domaci — paganisim impact on health and the fate of the offspring. Sometimes the father loves the child and does not offend him, but inadvertently gives him a very tragic life program, which dominates him. Early death of his father, and even this death can be passed to offspring; the researchers suicide using long-term monitoring of the lives of several generations of the family have proven that the odds of suicide among the descendants of those who did, is much higher. Regardless of how these people treated the act of the parent. Hemingway kriskowal "weak father", which was shot from a gun. He was a successful and brave man, fought, hunted, fished, wrote talent, made a lot of money, and then went and killed himself. In exactly the same way as his father. From practice I remember the case with the four-year boy who at the slightest conflict with her mother fled to the kitchen and tried to grab a knife or a fork, to stab himself in the chest. It was observed by the psychiatrists, talked to psychologists and teachers, and the case was this: a real, biological father of the child, the existence of which the boy did not know, committed suicide. The wild way was with relatives at the barbecue, got drunk, something grew angry, throwing a tantrum and stabbed himself in the heart with a skewer! Future boy's mother was married to another man, kept the pregnancy and gave birth to a son to suicide, of course, in the strictest confidence maintaining the whole story. Child psychogenetic got this bloody program, a way of responding to conflict. This is a family curse, as it was called in the people. Negative impact on the destiny might be due to resentment of his father, on his refusal to perform fully its function of protector and provider. Kornei Chukovsky, the author of the unforgettable "Doctor Dolittle" were born out of wedlock, which in ancient times were stamped disgrace on a man's entire life. The father never married his mother, a simple whether the laundress, the cook, and the names of the small stake as it is not relied upon. The most painful in my youth was to him to introduce myself to new friends: "just Call me nick"... he Later from his illegal names did alias, which reconciled him to life, gave the opportunity to create and succeed; Korneychukov he became Korney Chukovsky. Also, the peculiar psychological protection in case of disappointment in the father... likewise did the famous lawyer Plevako — the illegitimate son of a Gobber changed the name of the parent for the strange neuter "Plevako," and became rich and famous. However, Chukovsky life suffered from depression and painful insomnia, and Plevako with all the external success in the shower was not too happy... of Course, it is good to love and respect their parents. Bad to hate them and despise. Only I recall the story told in a book by psychologist Christina Grof on the psychological forum of the Catholic priest began to convince her of the need to forgive your parents, to love him, to resume a relationship with him... And then the woman said, "sorry, I can't do that". "But why? Right teaches religion, we must love and forgive!". And then Christine said, "I am the victim of incest. My father in my childhood raped me." Before forcing himself violently for love and forgiveness, you should deal with their own life, to understand the negative programs and to recognize the role played by your parents. Unfortunately, the role of the father is not always positive, but we can cope, especially if you do it with someone we trust.published

Author: Anna Kiryanova

 

Source: www.kiryanova.com/ten_otca.html