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How to react to a faux pas
One of the big themes in the therapy of this rude questions and comments.
"You are so much bigger!",
"God, what kind of wrinkles on your forehead?",
"Not going to give birth?", "And second?", "And maybe the girl, the boy will try the third?",
"A husband, then you have a normal, not drinking?", "One should not found?",
"What kind of car you got!",
"What a horrible dress!",
"When are you finally going to make the chest!",
"What's your salary?",
"At your age, it's time to think about something more serious!".
As a rule, such questions and exclamations give "relatives of the second wave" and the familiar — friends and family are usually more or less aware of the situation.
"Technates" that you see once a year, but who somehow believe that they are — is your family and relatives, such a faux pas generally seem to care or attempt to restore closeness.
Although, of course, such statements sometimes collapse and from complete strangers.
If the topic is not very significant, sometimes you otvalitsya or even formulate the correct answer.
In my case, for example, the tactless question in life was "And you my daughter-that would do it?" — from a relative.
I in such cases usually turns on the irony of a gun, and I responded something in the vein of "No, of course, the organs are grown" — simply because the question itself, and its language sounded the same to me madly and I wanted to somehow finally make it into a farce. Cousin changed the subject.
However, in some cases, external and internal merge critic, and at this point it becomes very painful.
For example:
"Marry?"
"But not for one yet"
"And you been on any dates? On the party? At least somewhere there?".
And it turns out that unfamiliar or quite unknown to people as if "check" — whether you're behaving?
The man himself understands that a little goes on dates — for example, because he's depressed, or because he doesn't like noisy company or because he considers it madness to go somewhere where I would not have gone, only for the man. And myself for this slightly (or not slightly) nibbles. And so passes another faux pas, which only adds to this internal beaver.
We often say that regardless of what I think about my weight and lifestyle, about men or women, with whom I meet, about whether or not I should change jobs, most often such statements do not help and only worsen the situation.
So even if you can't somehow "Adbrite", "kill" or at least to inform such person that he is wrong, just try it for themselves to split — the inner critic with which you have your own, long-term relationships and external — which for such conduct there is no reason. published
Author: Adrian IMI
Also interesting: How to politely respond to rude questions
Faux pas, or why good people say bad things
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: imja.livejournal.com/2639216.html
"You are so much bigger!",
"God, what kind of wrinkles on your forehead?",
"Not going to give birth?", "And second?", "And maybe the girl, the boy will try the third?",
"A husband, then you have a normal, not drinking?", "One should not found?",
"What kind of car you got!",
"What a horrible dress!",
"When are you finally going to make the chest!",
"What's your salary?",
"At your age, it's time to think about something more serious!".
As a rule, such questions and exclamations give "relatives of the second wave" and the familiar — friends and family are usually more or less aware of the situation.
"Technates" that you see once a year, but who somehow believe that they are — is your family and relatives, such a faux pas generally seem to care or attempt to restore closeness.
Although, of course, such statements sometimes collapse and from complete strangers.
If the topic is not very significant, sometimes you otvalitsya or even formulate the correct answer.
In my case, for example, the tactless question in life was "And you my daughter-that would do it?" — from a relative.
I in such cases usually turns on the irony of a gun, and I responded something in the vein of "No, of course, the organs are grown" — simply because the question itself, and its language sounded the same to me madly and I wanted to somehow finally make it into a farce. Cousin changed the subject.
However, in some cases, external and internal merge critic, and at this point it becomes very painful.
For example:
"Marry?"
"But not for one yet"
"And you been on any dates? On the party? At least somewhere there?".
And it turns out that unfamiliar or quite unknown to people as if "check" — whether you're behaving?
The man himself understands that a little goes on dates — for example, because he's depressed, or because he doesn't like noisy company or because he considers it madness to go somewhere where I would not have gone, only for the man. And myself for this slightly (or not slightly) nibbles. And so passes another faux pas, which only adds to this internal beaver.
We often say that regardless of what I think about my weight and lifestyle, about men or women, with whom I meet, about whether or not I should change jobs, most often such statements do not help and only worsen the situation.
So even if you can't somehow "Adbrite", "kill" or at least to inform such person that he is wrong, just try it for themselves to split — the inner critic with which you have your own, long-term relationships and external — which for such conduct there is no reason. published
Author: Adrian IMI
Also interesting: How to politely respond to rude questions
Faux pas, or why good people say bad things
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: imja.livejournal.com/2639216.html
