Sneak can be called a flatterer, or a Fox Bake. Sex in industrial relations, he claims to be rare, but if the encounter took place in a disco where the production phase is missing, the main instrument of achieving sexual satisfaction here is flattery.
Smoothie in principle "only" you is not pretend: he wants to grab a piece of cheese, well, anything else in detail, for example, one night. But most importantly, he does not claim on your life, do not destroy your business. On the contrary, he even wants you to keep something you find, then that "something" was to take away from you.
The traitor, made a mistake in you for their mistake you will try to destroy or break your business, that, in fact, one and the same. And both of our wards are willing to give up their psychological "blood." But if the smoothie likened to tobacco, the traitor pulls on the morphine.
The danger of flatterers is that they teach man to undeserved strokes, he loses alertness, ceases to distinguish between flattery admiration and can get into trouble, because the rapture is an even bigger danger, because there is a Traitor or Judas. This will not stop a piece of cheese — it will ruin you. But about Judas a little later.How does a smoothie?
He praises you for qualities that are developed in you, to put it mildly, not very, but you would like to have them to a greater extent. The Flatterer is well described in the fable of Krylov "the Crow and the Fox". Will bring it completely. It is very accurate!
How many times told the world,
That flattery hateful, harmful,
But it's not the future.
And in the heart of the smoothie always find area.
Raven somehow God sent a piece of cheese.
On a fur-tree the Crow is perched,
Breakfast was absolutely gathered
And the cheese in your mouth was holding.
To the trouble Fox bliesheim fled.
Suddenly the cheesy spirit of the Fox stopped.
Fox sees the cheese Fox cheese captured.
Cheat to a tree on tiptoe suits,
Wags his tail, with Crow's eye brings
And says so sweetly, breathlessly:
Dear! How good!
Well, what kind of neck that eyes!
So right to tell tales!
What are the feathers, what a sock!
True, must be angelic voice.
Sing, Svetik, do not be ashamed! What if, sister,
When beauty and sing you mistress!
Wasonline with praise stroilas head,
Joy craw of breath.
And welcoming Lisitsyn words
The crow cawed all the crow's throat.
Cheese fell out. With him was the rogue is.
Please note that the smoothie first thinks and then acts. Here is a very delicate calculation, because he is of the mind, but is entrusted to do all this sentient child. With the betrayal of the Traitor admires. Admiration usually impulsive. At a time when the future traitor admires, he is sincere. So, if flattery it is possible to resist, in the case of admiration to do it is difficult.
We developed a methodology to respond to flattery.
I remember caught it when he was a struggling doctor. Some cunning flattered me, saying that I work better than my more experienced colleagues.
I remember just like a Crow pecked at it, was forced to deal with the Affairs of flatterers at the expense of their free time. Then the praise started to cause me irritation, but to get rid of sycophants, I could not. And only by developing a system of psychological Aikido, I managed to find a good answer.
Now, when Fox says Bake me I'm a wonderful doctor, I answered her as follows: "Yes, I agree with you, I have a wonderful doctor, Fox Bake. I am doubly glad to hear you say that, because the compliments are sincere (here it is better to take a little break. — M. L.) and they were not worth any request, while others... etc". This same algorithm can be used when smoothie you go to bed:
"I thank you very much for the compliments. They are pleasant to me, as I know they are selfless. You do not pull me into bed like the others, a little praise, and I believe that I have already owes them". Can offer the second option, shorter and more accurate: "How nice to hear your compliments! Where's the gift?"
The answer I came up with after a single case. Comes to my office with a man aged 40, arrived from Komsomolsk-on-Amur. Come to me, to thank for my book, "If you want to be happy." He told me how the book helped him in life, and he wants to give me something for memory.
Nothing specifically from me it was not needed — he gave me a souvenir, I was moved. This is the most expensive for me, unfortunately, such gifts. Often write asking for help and not always put an envelope for the response. For me it was a good lesson. Now when I want to Express to someone my gratitude, I always go with a gift and ask for nothing.
The problem is fawning in industrial relations is developed by us now and in future publications will be described in more detail. Here I can suggest one method is subtle flattery. With the help of banal praise and enthusiasm you will be able to achieve something only from the fool. But if you act this way, then to resist such flattery would be difficult and intelligent man, and the fawning you will be hard to catch. You will be more similar to fundamental criticism.Listen to how it sounds this "criticism":
"Ivan, can I at least be fired, but I will tell you directly and in public. You value society, you don't care about its development, no, I can tell that you are a criminal. After all your organizational experience is used only in our team, whereas it should be extended to the whole country. Why don't you write a book, do not generalize your experience that would help the entire our long-suffering Homeland? Sorry for the harshness. But to remain silent I have no more patience!" You can change the contents, fill it with concrete examples from the life of your head, but the algorithm should be retained.
Of excessive expectations: we deserve exactly what we getThe worst enemy of all relationships
Chiefs should remember that a sincere compliment can only come from equal or higher as on the social status and spiritual development. He pronounced at the time when the partner you will not need it and is always accompanied by a gift.
One of my clients, a very attractive woman, was invited to the office of the Director of a very large plant where he worked. He admired her beauty and other "spiritual qualities," she proposed a sexual relationship and at the same time the isolated apartment and the most favorable conditions for her career and the cessation of sexual relations, if she gets married. She refused. But in vain! published
Author: Michael Litvak