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How to recognize that you are too much give
Have you ever heard as saying "it is Better to give than to take"? I'm sure this seemingly positive cultural concept underlies the fact that many of us so hard to afford to take care of themselves.
Think about it. We're led to believe that to be a good friend, wife, daughter, employee, mother, partner ... to give. Even if we don't have the time, money or energy. And not just a little to give, give, give, give until there's nothing left.
When you give too much, you like a Bank that only gives money, but does not accept cash investments.
No need to be a genius to predict it will all end in this case – bankruptcy. We have too much give, too little allow ourselves to take, and you just end up emotionally, physically exhausted and spiritually bankrupt. One can give others is an act of kindness and love, in sacrifice to their health, well-being and happiness, no kindness, no love. Because this is not a drop of love to a very significant person in your life – to yourself.
As a person recovering from addiction to achievements, and Superwoman, which said that it could be anyone, do and have anything, for many years I gave too much. And still every day I have to watch your balance to give is to receive.
I worked too hard, put others needs above his own and gave everything they could. Because of this I have every few months there was an attrition. The body was ill to give me "reasonable" opportunity to relax. Sometimes I felt a psychological fatigue that all I could do is just lay like a vegetable on the couch and watch the series for series "Downton Abbey" or "Law and Order".
Try changing your inner installation "it is Better to give than to receive" to "it is Better to give and receive". Changing one word can change everything. Imagine that the measure of success and an indication that you are a good friend/mother/partner is not that how much you gave to others, but also how many you got.
To balance for themselves the question of return-receipt, you need to be aware of their habits of excessive recoil. Does it happen that:
You say "Yes" to people and projects, when really you want to say no, and then you have stress and you do not have time?
You use the word "busy" (a) in response to the question, how are you doing, for example, "I'm so busy(a)!", "I'm too busy(a) to..."?
You seem impossible to allocate time for yourself? Perhaps, except that when the kids graduate, or when you complete your project, you will be able to finally carve out time for yourself (but that day never comes).
You would think that the day has not enough hours to do everything?
You are irritable, dissatisfied and frustrated more often than happy, peaceful and well rested?
To work more than 10 hours a day is routine for you?
Ill, you secretly happy that there's finally a chance to relax?
Working, you feel guilty that you are not with family, and family is the blame for that now don't work?
You overeat, compulsive buying of things and/or excessively consume even in any way?
You voluntarily give, and then feel denial, anger, I feel that you underestimate and do not support?
Recognizing these signs, you will begin to notice the leakage of their energy, time and happiness. If you pay attention, you can even feel the "leak" in the body, when it happens and see what it's cost you, and start doing things differently.
Also interesting: That moment when you just need to give up...
When you are not afraid of losing...
How to stop excessive pay?
1. When there is the realization that you are going to give too much or have overly give, take a break for a revaluation of its forces.
2. Use this pause to listen to yourself and understand how to keep themselves, and not to sacrifice themselves.
3. Stop, take a breath and ask your inner wisdom: "Enough is how much?"
4. Wait for a response and then do just enough not more.
At first it may seem uncomfortable or even impossible. People who have used too much to give, it may take years or even generations to change the usual patterns of behavior and learn to love yourself. But loving yourself and caring about yourself, you can achieve much more and to help others more. This is the balance. published
Author: Christine Arylo
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption - together we change the world! ©
Source: 9journal.com.ua/%D0%BA%D0%B0%D0%BA-%D1%80%D0%B0%D1%81%D0%BF%D0%BE%D0%B7%D0%BD%D0%B0%D1%82%D1%8C-%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE-%D0%B2%D1%8B-%D1%81%D0%BB%D0%B8%D1%88%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BC-%D0%BC%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%B3%D0%BE-%D0%BE%D1%82/
Think about it. We're led to believe that to be a good friend, wife, daughter, employee, mother, partner ... to give. Even if we don't have the time, money or energy. And not just a little to give, give, give, give until there's nothing left.
When you give too much, you like a Bank that only gives money, but does not accept cash investments.
No need to be a genius to predict it will all end in this case – bankruptcy. We have too much give, too little allow ourselves to take, and you just end up emotionally, physically exhausted and spiritually bankrupt. One can give others is an act of kindness and love, in sacrifice to their health, well-being and happiness, no kindness, no love. Because this is not a drop of love to a very significant person in your life – to yourself.
As a person recovering from addiction to achievements, and Superwoman, which said that it could be anyone, do and have anything, for many years I gave too much. And still every day I have to watch your balance to give is to receive.
I worked too hard, put others needs above his own and gave everything they could. Because of this I have every few months there was an attrition. The body was ill to give me "reasonable" opportunity to relax. Sometimes I felt a psychological fatigue that all I could do is just lay like a vegetable on the couch and watch the series for series "Downton Abbey" or "Law and Order".
- What if caring for others and caring for yourself – not necessarily mutually exclusive paragraphs?
- What if you could take care of your favorite people and things, not forgetting about yourself?
- What if caring for yourself would be perceived as intelligence, not selfishness?
Try changing your inner installation "it is Better to give than to receive" to "it is Better to give and receive". Changing one word can change everything. Imagine that the measure of success and an indication that you are a good friend/mother/partner is not that how much you gave to others, but also how many you got.
To balance for themselves the question of return-receipt, you need to be aware of their habits of excessive recoil. Does it happen that:
You say "Yes" to people and projects, when really you want to say no, and then you have stress and you do not have time?
You use the word "busy" (a) in response to the question, how are you doing, for example, "I'm so busy(a)!", "I'm too busy(a) to..."?
You seem impossible to allocate time for yourself? Perhaps, except that when the kids graduate, or when you complete your project, you will be able to finally carve out time for yourself (but that day never comes).
You would think that the day has not enough hours to do everything?
You are irritable, dissatisfied and frustrated more often than happy, peaceful and well rested?
To work more than 10 hours a day is routine for you?
Ill, you secretly happy that there's finally a chance to relax?
Working, you feel guilty that you are not with family, and family is the blame for that now don't work?
You overeat, compulsive buying of things and/or excessively consume even in any way?
You voluntarily give, and then feel denial, anger, I feel that you underestimate and do not support?
Recognizing these signs, you will begin to notice the leakage of their energy, time and happiness. If you pay attention, you can even feel the "leak" in the body, when it happens and see what it's cost you, and start doing things differently.
Also interesting: That moment when you just need to give up...
When you are not afraid of losing...
How to stop excessive pay?
1. When there is the realization that you are going to give too much or have overly give, take a break for a revaluation of its forces.
2. Use this pause to listen to yourself and understand how to keep themselves, and not to sacrifice themselves.
3. Stop, take a breath and ask your inner wisdom: "Enough is how much?"
4. Wait for a response and then do just enough not more.
At first it may seem uncomfortable or even impossible. People who have used too much to give, it may take years or even generations to change the usual patterns of behavior and learn to love yourself. But loving yourself and caring about yourself, you can achieve much more and to help others more. This is the balance. published
Author: Christine Arylo
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption - together we change the world! ©
Source: 9journal.com.ua/%D0%BA%D0%B0%D0%BA-%D1%80%D0%B0%D1%81%D0%BF%D0%BE%D0%B7%D0%BD%D0%B0%D1%82%D1%8C-%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE-%D0%B2%D1%8B-%D1%81%D0%BB%D0%B8%D1%88%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BC-%D0%BC%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%B3%D0%BE-%D0%BE%D1%82/
