Healthy expression of anger in a woman's life

©Angelina Jolie in "Wanted"

I'm trying to understand when do women have lost a sense of their values and integrity? At what point we decided that to humiliate us and right? At what point of time we have devalued their strength?

And remember the woman who lived five thousand years ago, but the story we hear so far. It was an unprecedented insult and humiliation. Never to this day, no one couldn't afford to treat women. Earlier a woman was revered and respected, men treated all women as their mothers, protect them, guarded.

And the story of Draupadi opened a new period in people's lives. When she was dragged by the hair in the Royal collection, tried to undress there, in the presence of many men, insulting and humiliating. Allowing yourself to have contact with the Queen, the Royal offspring given tacit permission to all men to treat all women that way. As to things like second-rate material as to what you can use.

And some of the men began to follow their example. Humiliating and exploiting women. It was the easiest way, not requiring of men spiritual progress. This feminine quality as patience, helped them. While there were those who refused to go this way, they preserved the tradition of relationship to the woman and thank them for the fact that the world still exists.

This story was used as an indicator of the change of epochs, soon began our Kali-Yuga, the battle of Kurukshetra that claimed the lives of 600 million in 18 days. Nowadays much seems normal. Seems normal cohabitation without marriage, use of the woman, the humiliation of the assault. From domestic violence now suffering a lot of women. Although any situations arise because it is necessary for some reason both agree that nothing is normal here.

But her story opens and women new. Draupadi by his example gave us a hint. That even if no one can defend, we can take care of myself. By giving himself into the hands of the Lord, while remaining true to yourself. And that we have the right to use force to defend themselves.

Surrender to the hand of the Lord does not mean "relax and enjoy" when you are raped. Surrender to His will, when you yourself have nothing more I can do. When you have already done all that depended on you. And to use your inner power.

The power that is embedded in every woman – the strength of her emotions. And Draupadi in this story showed us that we have the right to use it for self-defense. This is the power expressed by woman's wrath. They say that when filming the latest TV series "Mahabharata", this scene was re-shot many times. Because the actors were crying monologues Draupadi. The strength and power of her emotions. Cried huge and strong guys. And behind the scenes, and in the frame. Because women's emotions are really power. Huge.

If we go back to Draupadi, that this Holy woman openly expressed anger. When she was insulted after playing a game of dice, she vividly and emotionally cursed and all. All these curses were fulfilled, the offenders "karma caught up", and fast enough.

Not only in this situation but in any other, for violation of her personal boundaries, she allowed herself to be a fury. Any man – especially a man who, without permission touched her, was immediately cursed. Included in her chamber without permission, afford uncomplimentary remarks, they also received their portion of wrath. Because in those days touching a married woman without permission is considered an insult, violation of personal boundaries. And could after all think "Oh how ugly I act for the Queen!".

She allowed herself to Express anger even at her husband. Although almost always their husbands were humble and soft, at the right moment it could become a hurricane. But immediately and with very good reason. When Arjuna brought home another wife, thus violating his vow, she immediately responded. Could to smile through gritted teeth and tough it out. But no – clearly and accurately expressed their emotions. Outlined its borders. Gave the word – keep.

While staying thus feelings, she was able to stay alive, not to close your heart from pain and anger. Not to break under such a load of humiliation and difficulties. Although both in her life were many. But most importantly, she was able to do is keep your heart open. Not to lose the ability to love. Die the soul, remaining a walking mummy. She was alive, even when he lost his children. Her story is like an indication for women of our time.

An indication that the woman may live with an open heart, even after so many difficulties. Can. Cope. With heart even in the war and after it. An indication of the fact that the grievances you need to forgive, but the anger must be expressed. Anger as a lifestyle and a habitual form of behavior in all circumstances, and as a reaction to the pain. The natural response. And if this reaction does not give, the anger and irritation is the background of life.

When we were on the leg, drops a brick, we will first Scribner, you can even kick him from the wrath. And only then start thinking, why are we brick laid so why so waving legs around him. Then. First we feel the pain. And react to it.

So it is here. Anger is a natural reaction to pain. When we hurt, there is anger. This is normal. And how to Express it? You can scream, cry, fight, stomp, breaking dishes, cursing. Ways of expression are not always harmonious. Because kicking the bricks that fall on our foot, we hurt again myself. Why? If possible the same emotions to produce more secure for herself.

When we offend, humiliate, insult, go to sort things out and yelling is pointless. Often leads to deterioration and more pain. Sometimes it is enough for a person simply to "sirkot", and steam release on the pillows, a whisper or in the shower.

If we do not live anger in a timely manner, we can obtain two extremes.

The first is a woman who never becomes angry. That is, suppresses the feeling, earning his disease and the reputation of a trouble-free person. These women, a husband may long to live openly with another woman. Or live on her money without working. Or all the friends can come with their tubs of dirty linen to pour the slop into her soul. And all because she did not give permission to honestly live their feelings.

One of my friends was always sad and melancholic. Since then, five years ago left her husband. It did not suit the scenes. Released. And now here suffered so much. And when we talked about anger, she tried to convince me that anger is not. Well, Yes, the sores became much. But anger is not.

As soon as she allowed herself to pour out the anger – not at him personally, and pillows and blankets of her and her husband bedroom, and it was depression. Depression in women is almost always suppressed anger. The result of the fact that it's all too compression.

The second extreme is the constant irritability. Anger as a constant companion. When all the annoying, angry. When for any reason she opens her mouth and gives an angry rant. What a waste of energy for nothing – at the right time she's just not strong enough.

Constant irritability is a symptom of the fact that we have too high expectations and demands to the world. And that within us lives the worm unlived until the end of wrath. Unlived and missed.

Anger and irritability should not be in the background of our life, the backdrop can only be love. And acceptance and harmony. Anger in our lives – like a nuclear bomb. Only in extreme cases. When otherwise nothing. When the place, time and circumstances. When this is honored, naturally. That is, you just stepped on your foot, and humiliated and insulted. In other situations it is better not to pour on people and objects.

If you go back to Draupadi, she was able to go through all this and not to close your heart. She was able because of the qualities of the Holy person. While others could not. Getting into the same situation, others closed. Didn't realize that you have a right to be angry (after all, the Scriptures say otherwise). Didn't understand how to stop what is happening. Not give themselves the right to self-defense. And could not give his life in the hands of the Lord, as did Draupadi.

When she did this, realizing that God is her only advocate right now and assistant, her Sari became endless, filled the entire room. And her abusers and was unable to dishonor her public undressing. When she stopped trying to defend himself here and now, stopped to grab his clothes, the Lord did all this for her. And she was able to send its women's secret weapon for all those who have brought this about. Those for whom personal promises and vows are more important than protecting women.

Society becomes healthy when it take care of the brahmanas (i.e., saints, scientists), women, children, old people and cows. Without any of these elements in society degradation starts. First, do not protect the brahmanas, then stop caring about women. And then – naturally – because women care for children and the elderly. They have no more energy for this, because to defend themselves would. And comes to a terrible time in which we live now.

Women are now not protected, unfortunately. Yes, it is. Once many years ago, one madman decided to publicly humiliate the Queen, and some began to follow his example. And what are we to do now? Also take an example. Most of Draupadi. Learn to trust the Lord and learn to manage your women's secret weapon – the power of your emotions.

The main thing to remember why. The goal is not to achieve justice, revenge. The purpose of the women in this case is simple – do not allow your heart to harden and close. Continue to feel despite the pain. No matter what trials may fall to her share.

Take care of your heart, keeping it open. And still not give up and do not close it, even if it is very painful. Possible. It's real. This is the only possible way to happiness.published

Author: Olga Valyaeva

 

Source: www.valyaeva.ru/zdorovoe-vyrazhenie-gneva-v-zhizni-zhenshhiny-2/