Psychology of family relations Bashny.Net

American blogger, writer and father of many children Mike Berry published on his page an unusual revelation that caused a great resonance. He said his wife means more to him than his children.

Atypical statement for our society. We are accustomed to consider children the most important in life, the continuation of themselves, relatives and closest people. Children, not the woman who gave birth to them or the man by whom they were conceived.





In our minds, there is a belief that a husband or wife is not necessarily forever, because no one has canceled the possibility of divorce. And the baby is forever, from birth to death. A child is someone who will love unconditionally for the rest of his life. How can you put him in second place?

Mike doesn't think so. And he has good reason for that. He has been married to Christine Berry for 17 years. Together with her, she raises eight adopted children, works a lot and is engaged in social activities.

Every night around nine, he asks his teenage daughters to go to their room, explaining that he and Christine need to be alone. He devotes the rest of his time to his wife.





Parents Mike and Christine became not immediately, two years after the marriage. At the same time, they established 4 laws for themselves and have been living according to them for 15 years.

1. "We are the cornerstone"
   The couple see themselves as the foundation, in a metaphorical sense, the cornerstone from which the construction of a house called family began. Children became the continuation, the walls of the building. With this in mind, Mike and Christine have decided that they will be responsible for the development and direction of their family. Everything should be on them, not the children.
   
   They pride themselves on not shifting their responsibilities to their children. They believe that if they don’t put their children at the forefront, they will never feel guilty if the family climate deteriorates.
   
   
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2. Before the family was born, it was just the two of us.
   First, Mike and Christine met, fell in love, ran on dates and talked on the phone all night long. And then we decided to be together forever. They created a family that consisted of two. Then the children came, they filled it, for which their parents were grateful. But they vowed not to forget where it all began and to cherish their union as sacred.
   
   
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3. “After everything is gone, it’s just the two of us.”
   Mike and Christine realize that sooner or later the children will grow up, go their separate ways and leave their home. They're the only ones left. To keep their relationship as strong and close as it was at the beginning, Mike and Christine decided to work on it all the way.
   
   
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4. We are the best and first example for our children.
   Children copy the behavior of parents, this has long been proven by psychologists. Mike and Christine want their children to copy the model of their current family, so that the children formed a healthy and correct attitude to dating, love, family life. Therefore, they do not cease to demonstrate how spouses should treat each other. Children need parents: their love, care, care. Not friends, not work, not hobbies, but children should be a priority among these things. But before children – a harmonious relationship with a spouse.
   
   When children see that their parents love each other, they have no doubt that they love them. They gain confidence in themselves and the world around them.
   
   
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In many ways, Mike and Berry are right: crisis, which manifests itself in the divorce of parents, the worst effect on children, their psychological and physical condition.

When a child sees that his father does not love his mother, or vice versa, can he be sure that he is loved? How do you know? family relations?

Read about how to save a marriage and establish a relationship with a husband or wife in our articles.