Life script of the mother — mould of the future life of the daughter

The little girl takes the example of relations with itself with mom.

 

She looks at the mother with his shrewd eyes and clearly captures:

  • the age at which my mother decided to stop doing?
  • when mom realized that she was too old for this and, basically, life has been lived?
  • at what age she realized that she was not worthy of gifts, flowers, good relationship?
  • when mom stopped to buy things that she liked?
  • as a mom to get back, what words to call it?




 

It is important not only what happens in front of the girl. Children, and especially girls, feel even how you communicate with them alone, they hear your thoughts and catch your mood.

If today, while no one sees or hears you, standing in the bathroom, meticulously examined my body, and at least mentally calling yourself a fat cow, ugly and old woman, don't be surprised if it may take 20-30 years, and all the same words you hear from your daughter. Just say so she will have about yourself. And now, your little Princess will suddenly become a cow, a monster, ugly, fat... And where did she get all this? Where and from whom did you learn it?

You ask me how this is possible? But it wasn't near you at the moment when you said or even just thought that way. But she's with you were considered, recorded and assigned to itself.

How? Oh, this is just a snap.

  • She saw you hiding from the camera and do not like to see their photos.
  • She saw what you're wearing, what mood you do it.
  • She notices that you are no longer hovering in front of a mirror and do not see themselves with pleasure.
  • She hears your silent sighs that burst from your chest at the sight of a new wrinkle on his forehead.
  • She walks with you to the store and see what you spend the money on others, leaving nothing for themselves.
  • She sees that fruit when less than people, you refuse the first. Even if this is your favorite fruit. Like, I cost,
  • She notices and how envy you are looking at younger women.
  • She can hear your fears that you Express to the wife joke that he must soon leave you.
  • She's there when you disdainfully say that to you again nothing zip it up.
  • She has no memory, when you truly glowed with happiness, because the mother in her reality — it is the tortured and the weary woman in the world.
  • She very rarely saw you elegant and beautiful. Only on special occasions. Usually you're dressed comfortable and practical.
  • She heard, and scolded her husband for the money spent on the flowers, there are more important things to do.
  • She knows that you are useless to ask what you want, because you don't know.
  • She understands that you get all by yourself, anyone not counting, do not refuse anyone and absolutely do not value yourself.
But you're her mom, and that means that you are her ideal. Such as it is. As goddess of which do not appreciate in which everything is perfect.

For her, everything you do is right and good. Everything she sees, she absorbs as normal. And a cast of her future life.

And now look at yourself and think would you like in 20-30 years to see my daughter like this? Honestly. Would like? Whether you like this way? Children is the best copier. They take from us everything: what we love about themselves and what not. And we can't get this image in their hearts to correct and say, "Look, dear, please take this part from me, in this part, I think I as a woman is very good! But it is in any case do not touch!". Exactly the same as sitting with a cigarette in his mouth, you can't forbid her to smoke.

No, your girl will take all of them. Five to seven years it will soak up all of your image: with the relationship to ourselves, to men, to the world, to money and so on. She will record it and will continue to lose their lives on the machine. Do you like this story?





It automatically it will again lose your life, your destiny, your methods of interacting with the world. All that you have not invented and not created, and likewise copied from his mother, and she took it from her, and so on.

Maybe you made this way necessary adjustments can be worked with in order to change the source data that you don't really like it. Your daughter then can also engage in such correction, if aware of where he lives on the machine. And if not?

So if you want your girl to be happy, you should start with yourself. Do not try to solve their problem through it, not to make her "person" and not to try to secure its future. Start with yourself. Start to treat myself a little differently. Think about what image you create to your baby and let her see the image of the harmonious women, happy, good, full, warm, alive. Who loves himself and accepts the way you are right now.

It's the best we can do for your little princesses. published in ©

Author: Olga Valyaeva

 



Source: www.valyaeva.ru/chemu-nuzhno-nauchit-doch/