The psychoanalyst says, “There is no perfect mother.” So stop ...” Bashny.Net

Psychoanalyst and psychiatrist Marie Lyon-Julin spent 15 years studying the mother-daughter bond. And I came to the conclusion that women need to understand. relationshipto build your own future.

Freeing yourself from your mother gives you the freedom to be yourself.

Relationship with mother Women's issues It is directly related to her relationship with her mother in childhood. Even if they were not prosperous and brought suffering as an adult, the daughter unconsciously strives for the same scenario of relationships with men.





DepositPhotos Mother's sex is none of your business!

Don’t give your mother details about your intimate life. Commenting, approving or criticizing a mother is devastating daughterhood.

Mothers are afraid of repeating their own mistakes. But fears, prohibitions and restrictions in the mother’s sex life prevent her daughter from revealing her femininity.

Reluctance to take responsibility.

A lack or excess of custody in the family prevents the girl from confronting reality and slows it down. harmonious development.

Simone de Beauvoir: “Some women prefer dependence on the tension of authentic life. Dependence on the other, on the husband helps them to avoid stress, but we need to understand that men do not forbid us anything, we prevent ourselves from exercising the right to be free. But in order to exercise that freedom, we must learn to be responsible for our own choices.”





Dissatisfaction with life is passed from mother to daughter.

Suffering mother Does not give the daughter proper attention, does not give a sense of security and sufficient self-esteem. The daughter blames herself for her mother’s misfortunes.





Jealous mothers have jealous daughters.

It's hard. daughterhoodThe mother does not want to see her seductive, she must ask herself why it causes her ill will and jealousy.

Confident womanKnowing her own worth, she is not afraid of competition from either her mother or her daughter. Jealousy of inferior mothers makes daughters jealous wives, they live in a sense of constant intense competition.



DepositPhotos

Fear of loneliness.

Healthy individuals tolerate loneliness normally. But if a girl found joy and contentment only with her mother, in adulthood she will feel lost without her.

Phobias are a consequence of dependence on the mother.

If the mother, too worried, holds the child near her, does not allow him to discoverHe becomes dependent on his mother.

Fear of the unknown in childhood can become a phobia in adulthood.

Angry women.

A child’s anger is a resentment of a mother’s lack of love. Deprived of love, the girl will resent and criticize everyone, afraid of being rejected.





Fear of persecution.

Strict educationThe humiliation, ridicule, depreciation of the daughter triggers a mechanism that leads to mania of persecution and hostility to herself.





Anorexia and bulimia.

Girls who have too much connection to their mother, excessively demanding They are sensitive to the opinions of others.

Their pain and protest against parental desires is expressed in deviations towards food.

Relationship between parents.

If the father did not respect the mother, she was a passive victim and did not react, then the daughter reproduces this model in her relationship.

“I do everything for you and you are ungrateful.”

A woman who sacrificed everything for her children will later be resentful of them, taking responsibility for her misfortunes.

This disappointed and sadwoman She won't be happy with her daughter's luck.

Why is it so important to get rid of your mother?

1. Doing good to others strengthens self-respect and prevents accumulated anger from destroying itself from within.
2. Reproach and resentment do not allow you to love yourself. When you make peace with yourself, you make peace with others.
3. The cause of suffering is in our childhood, not in other people.
4. Give without expecting anything in return, otherwise you will be forever dissatisfied.
5. Accept yourself as you are, stop needing maternal approval, let yourself say what you think about your mother.
6. You can only achieve a sense of self-worth, a relationship of equality and mutual respect by being separated from your mother.
7. Stop obeying your husband completely. Become independent and let your daughter do the same.
8. Show attention and interest to the child, listen to him. Seek to keep growing and gaining independence from you.
9. The true identity of the child will develop if the mother supports him and considers him independent.
10. Stop looking at your mother through the eyes of a child. Whatever it is, learn to see its advantages and disadvantages.
11. Find out your mother's story, try to understand her behavior.

As Simone de Beauvoir wrote: “It is self-deception to dream that through a child it is possible to get warmth, high self-esteem, that is, all that they could not give themselves.” Any woman can obtain all these benefits, for this it is enough to be the most capable of wishing good to another, without thinking about her own benefit; a woman must go beyond her own limitations. Of course, motherhood is a worthy goal, but there are other goals that are no less worthy.”

What was your relationship with your mother? Is there a relationship or animosity between you? Tell in the comments about your experience and share the article with your mother, daughter and friends.