Stop giving

You gave yourself to me, and he gave it to me ME. So says the film's heroine with the tragic name of "In my death I ask to blame Klavu K".

In fact, no one died. The boy (his name is Sergei) did not throw myself off a cliff because of unrequited love. Although... it is really something died in that moment. Children's belief "my best gift is me!".

He was in love with her since kindergarten. He did for her lessons, carried a briefcase, run for drugs when she was sick. He really did a lot of things for her and FOR HER. It took the choir exclusively for a beautiful appearance. Told silently to open his mouth, because hearing it does not.






And special abilities too, or what not. Well, she's beautiful — what else a girl need? "Don't do anything — just go!". And suddenly...there is another boy (his name is Lavrik), which says: "may Not be so, not to have useless abilities. Let's see — maybe you have hearing, only internal." And it turns out — really is. And she can SING and not only to open his mouth, decorating the choir for its appearance.

But not every Keyboard is able to meet such a Lavryk. And far everyone the team to bump his head against reality in the face of his sight suddenly beloved. But what about the sacrifice? Dedication? To give everything, asking nothing in return — not the very essence of love?

Let's be honest. After doing all this — you don't need anything... except LOVE! And love, as we know, is not for sale. Even in exchange for sacrifice and dedication. It's either there or it is not.

How about another feat for favorite (favorite)? To abandon their expectations, not to transform him (her) in the fulfillment and realization of their own ambitions, and to see the best, bright and unique in it (in it), support in the disclosure of his (her) talent, not the embodiment of their own dreams?

Rejoice in the fact that he (she) can give to this world, not what you give-give-give? YOURSELF! And he(a) takes-takes-takes. YOU! After all, constantly giving, investing — You thereby make him(her) to the branch itself. You instantiate yourself, not leaving him (her) free space. He (she) has not seen the mountain of your gifts. Whom you love? YOURSELF AND ONLY YOURSELF.

Surrounding another person for their care and attention, you thereby imply that he is a helpless cripple. He'd be lost without you. Of course, each of us have those moments when we are in need of care — ill, for example, or grief happened. But if care and custody is the only love that you are able — you thereby compel the person to constantly be sick and miserable.






Not surprisingly, if he will accept and begin to receive their "benefits" — will demand from you more, more and more blaming that taken care of you improperly, not as it should. And here you will find an interesting discovery. You don't like and appreciate myself. You need constant confirmation of self-worth, significance for the other person. "Because(s) he'd be lost without me!"

Yes — strong, bright, confident person to love is much harder! It is not only you. Many admire them, many people want to communicate with him, many will be glad of his society. At any moment he might be interested in someone else more than you.

"Smart woman watching him, and stupid for her husband." This applies to men equally. Selfishness? No, just "give yourself" — that's the ego for what it is. Enjoying the sacrifice you honor his pride. And cut off from their own "shadow" qualities — they are present in all of us. After all, the sacrifice can justify and outbursts of anger, and arrogance, and the suppression of other interests, and much more "wonderful".

 



You have ceased to envy: the rule of three "B"When you're tired to be strong

Ceasing to continually give and sacrifice, you remain alone with yourself. With all the good and evil present in your soul. And you have to face it face to face. And love. This whether you run, constantly giving of yourself? published

 

Author: Lana Tages

 



Source: esolang.com/articles/self-knowledge-articles/7krugov_art/perestante-sebya-darit.html

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