Bright, energetic, charismatic, eager for glory and power personality, bleeding-heart and beating plates. Surrounding call her hysterical, but really she's a little girl in need of care and support, not able to Express their needs and feelings.
This type of personality psychologists associated with the mythical character Cassandra — misunderstood and unheard. Why become hysterical, how they live and where Cassandra tells the therapist Zlata Zankovskaya.
Cassandra is a character in Greek mythology, a typical example of the girls, brought up in a "cold" mother. American psychologist Laurie Layton Shapira wrote: "the girl the impression that life can't proceed as she wanted, just as my mother wishes. In the view of the child's reality is not credible".
Why? Because the mother is the child's first and up to a certain age the only reality. If the mother showed his coolness in early childhood (not touched, were not given Breasts, not fondling) in the minds of the baby growing idea: the world does not give me anything just. I can only live in that case, if I'm comfortable, like he wants to see me mom, so — and the world.
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Due to the lack of approval from the mother, the girl learns to hide, deep down their true feelings and hide their own world. Hiding her true self, she immediately began to feel guilty.
Thus, born of guilt and aggression, and the only way to present yourself to becoming hysteria. Why does the girl's mother? Yes, because she was treated the same way. Multiply "icicles" — passionate, but not taking his passion, capable of many things, but not understanding it. Girls — victims dislike.
Flirty, eager to attract attention in different ways. Moreover, not only eye-catching makeup or candid outfit, deliberate, as if paraded modesty, is also a shell from the Arsenal of hysterical women.
Hysterical is in constant motion. She manages to move even lying down. This is her attempt to control everything.
STEP TO FEAR
To do what you fear — a manifestation of a hysterical personality type. If a hysterical woman afraid of his ugly appearance, she starts actively promoting it; if the fear of sexuality, demonstrates it.
Hysterical is sociability and detachment, compassion and selfishness, talkativeness and reticence in one bottle.
FEMININITY IS SCARY
Hysterical woman it is very difficult to accept their femininity. She feels a danger to themselves, for which there is a number of fears — e.g., fear of unwanted pregnancies, dependence on men and things.
Feelings of hysterical is very strong. They are not afraid of them: they live in them. Hysterical expresses aggression? Shouting, waving his hands, throwing knives, has plates. A few minutes later crying, asking forgiveness, sincerely laughs. And rest assured that even inside does not feel anger. She's already all gone.
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EMPTINESS. The result of the cold attitude of mothers to daughters develops a generic script that is transmitted through the female line. Often in such families, girls start to feel moms their moms, trying to give them protection, and it is an undue burden on the child's psyche. She should get a lot of love and caring, otherwise her inside a void. Finding love and support of his mother, the girl begins to look for them in the society and chooses the male script of his life.
ILLUSION. Since childhood, Cassandra is looking for attention and support men raising to the pedestal of the father, managing to simultaneously love and hate, to obey, to feel like a victim and strive for freedom. On the one hand along with a generic script, the girl was transferred to suspicion and anxiety in relation to men, and on the other she wants to be a father a better woman than my mom.
She wants to feel his care and to become active boy to be dad's favorite. Growing up, she's looking for a husband like her father, but will give what you gave mother. Though thoughtful and sweet she is not interested, but rejecting and cold — what you need.
What he told her? In order not to lose the illusion of freedom. With a woman of Cassandra's prone to sacrificial behavior and provokes her man to be there for her callous, heartless, hard and cruel. In fact, she shows a mother's view of man, which is transmitted to verbal and non-verbal daughter in the process of education. The sad truth is that even the most sensitive and caring man next to Cassandra becomes a soulless monster.
Bert Hellinger: the One who gave more than measures, I would leave the relationshipSome people love you only when you cease to love them
WHERE TO GET WARM?
The hysterical is not enough heat. And have to take it where give. Scared to take men take of friends. Impossible to create cordial relations at work — wonderful, there was a sincere friend — well, found support in faith — hurray! This is enough to survive, if you do not want to change anything. But to change, you have to live the traumatic experience under the supervision of a specialist. published