347
Raped men
In recent decades the world has become more open about violence against women and children. Created whole social programme for the protection of victims of violence. Women who have experienced physical or sexual violence did not hide their faces, and become leaders of these movements.
We all learn to feel for them and support them. We are taught not to be tolerant of rapists and stop them, even if it seems hard. We are not yet ready to understand their motives, but it may not be required. There are things in this world that you just clearly say "NO."
At work I am constantly faced with the fact that victims of violence feel guilty for what happened. Good people opaque hinted to them that their provocation was the cause of violence. I will not deny that the behaviour of the victim attracts the perpetrator.
But there is a "Golden rule" when working with violence: "VIOLENCE is ALWAYS the FAULT of the RAPIST." No provocation justifies the fact that the man couldn't control his impulses and rude and inconsiderate and had violated the border of another who is weaker than him. That is why working with people who were beaten in childhood or, even worse sexually used and raped, is extremely difficult. These wounds cannot be healed completely, it seems, never.
Now, I come to the point, what I wanted to write tonight. It is violence against men. I meanemotional abuse of mothers over their sons. "The mother is sacred" often I have heard from different men. This phrase can stand and a really lovely image of a strong and loving mother. And then the man will not be talking about the sanctity of women. It would just be a good husband and father.
Another version of the story of the Holy image hides a real monster in female guise. I am sometimes asked, is there a female version of Bluebeard? Is. In life and in my office I have met plenty of grown men who still are at the mercy of this monster.
On their neck hangs a thick rope called a sense of guilt, the other end of which is located in the small and tenacious the arms of their mothers. Every impulse toward freedom, has caused a sharp flick, and these men learned to be predictable, consistent and really reliable.
This reliability is not the result of a conscious choice, but is vital in order not to choke and not to hang on that rope giving up the Ghost. No, not God...the mother. Because their soul belongs to her. She gave birth and, therefore, is a full-fledged mistress and soul and body.
Meet the mother of one his childhood friend, who still lives with his mother. Well, I ask, Vanya (the Forum, sorry) is not married? Oh, and don't tell me, she says, — so do you want grandchildren, and he, the parasite doesn't want to get married! I would pity an old lady, but I can't. Because I know that Vanya is not something that is to marry him even to meet with the girls was unsafe.
I remember 30 years ago, this nice lady (younger, of course) ran to the school to expose the "tainted" girl, Julia, who he kissed on a trip to Dombay. You ask where she learned it? Well, wiretapping the phone, revision of portfolio, climbing in and out of pockets is a common thing for mothers.
And it was in Soviet times and ended with a homeroom period with the subject "Sex education for adolescents", a parent meeting with a public spanking mom Julia, and in the end, and transfer Julia to another school from the shame.
Having unlimited power over a boy, whom she gave birth, the woman risks to win it all his frustration and anger associated with men. He is now responsible for all the sins, and he will fulfill all her hopes. It it now just brought up in love, but most importantly respect for the woman. It will definitely make him respect yourself, because it's such a noble thing to raise a real man.
And it's just impossible to trust this infantile bitch who considers himself his father! She and he mother and father because she wanted him born. She endured all the hardships of pregnancy and childbirth, she earned the money while the loser his father sat back.
All for the sake of this miracle, destined to become the best man of her life! It will protect my miracle, my son, because in him, as in the egg, the needle on the end of which her life. Her future life, her old age.
He needs to make her future life happy, because it is a man doing a woman's life happy. He satisfies her wishes, protect her from danger. Husband this is not right, look for someone else is an impossible task. And this little here it is, it all can be trained. And with this task she would kill it. All in her hands.
He looks at her with your eyes waiting for love she will give him. Not just, of course, but for the fact that it would be right to do what she expects from him, and demands. This is right education, to encourage the proper actions. And love in this world it just does not come. She at least for sure just did not give. And now she will not give, and he therefore does not receive.
And he soon learns a sense of pride and satisfaction when it becomes a little man next to my mother. With a woman, the importance of which is equal to the universe. He won't survive without her love, and if you need to be an adult, to read her wishes, to put your feelings aside, to endure discomfort, he agreed. It's not such a high price in comparison with life.
Life goes on and the price increases, only nobody warned. On the contrary, more and more people around him need support, which he hastens to provide. Because it is in these moments straightens his back, and his nature all-pervading sense of pride and strength. It's the moment of truth. Either that, or death.
And the chiropractor said that he had some kind of armour that clenched my spine and it would be nice to a psychologist to figure out what kind of burden he carries on his shoulders. Isn't that what men wear severity? Just need to relax a bit, and it is better to pump up the muscles, so your back doesn't hurt. Still, though, the heart began to play tricks, but this is nonsense. Will rest a couple of days and it will pass.
Most of these boys will not live to see 50. The resource will end. Sometimes, in moments of despair, they will catch themselves on the fact that of feelings for the mother were only quiet hatred, exploding in uncontrollable thoughts or feelings. Immediately followed by guilt and anger at myself, this ungrateful. There are so many poor in need of support, children, women, old people. Does it have any right to pity? And it's so embarrassing when you regret.
Those we love and those who hate it, are our mirrors ofthe Soul does not think – she knows
He will die quickly, so as not to burden others. Sometimes before mom. And just before it should. A lot of people at his funeral will sincerely regret that passed away a good man. Anybody in a head will not come that life-then no it was not.
He never found out, he not learned to rejoice. His only joy is when he was doing well otherwise. Is death the result of exhaustion from the constant, incessant violence domestic mom who was an exact copy of his real mother... posted
Author: Alla Dalit
Source: alladalit.livejournal.com/3954.html
We all learn to feel for them and support them. We are taught not to be tolerant of rapists and stop them, even if it seems hard. We are not yet ready to understand their motives, but it may not be required. There are things in this world that you just clearly say "NO."
At work I am constantly faced with the fact that victims of violence feel guilty for what happened. Good people opaque hinted to them that their provocation was the cause of violence. I will not deny that the behaviour of the victim attracts the perpetrator.
But there is a "Golden rule" when working with violence: "VIOLENCE is ALWAYS the FAULT of the RAPIST." No provocation justifies the fact that the man couldn't control his impulses and rude and inconsiderate and had violated the border of another who is weaker than him. That is why working with people who were beaten in childhood or, even worse sexually used and raped, is extremely difficult. These wounds cannot be healed completely, it seems, never.
Now, I come to the point, what I wanted to write tonight. It is violence against men. I meanemotional abuse of mothers over their sons. "The mother is sacred" often I have heard from different men. This phrase can stand and a really lovely image of a strong and loving mother. And then the man will not be talking about the sanctity of women. It would just be a good husband and father.
Another version of the story of the Holy image hides a real monster in female guise. I am sometimes asked, is there a female version of Bluebeard? Is. In life and in my office I have met plenty of grown men who still are at the mercy of this monster.
On their neck hangs a thick rope called a sense of guilt, the other end of which is located in the small and tenacious the arms of their mothers. Every impulse toward freedom, has caused a sharp flick, and these men learned to be predictable, consistent and really reliable.
This reliability is not the result of a conscious choice, but is vital in order not to choke and not to hang on that rope giving up the Ghost. No, not God...the mother. Because their soul belongs to her. She gave birth and, therefore, is a full-fledged mistress and soul and body.
Meet the mother of one his childhood friend, who still lives with his mother. Well, I ask, Vanya (the Forum, sorry) is not married? Oh, and don't tell me, she says, — so do you want grandchildren, and he, the parasite doesn't want to get married! I would pity an old lady, but I can't. Because I know that Vanya is not something that is to marry him even to meet with the girls was unsafe.
I remember 30 years ago, this nice lady (younger, of course) ran to the school to expose the "tainted" girl, Julia, who he kissed on a trip to Dombay. You ask where she learned it? Well, wiretapping the phone, revision of portfolio, climbing in and out of pockets is a common thing for mothers.
And it was in Soviet times and ended with a homeroom period with the subject "Sex education for adolescents", a parent meeting with a public spanking mom Julia, and in the end, and transfer Julia to another school from the shame.
Having unlimited power over a boy, whom she gave birth, the woman risks to win it all his frustration and anger associated with men. He is now responsible for all the sins, and he will fulfill all her hopes. It it now just brought up in love, but most importantly respect for the woman. It will definitely make him respect yourself, because it's such a noble thing to raise a real man.
And it's just impossible to trust this infantile bitch who considers himself his father! She and he mother and father because she wanted him born. She endured all the hardships of pregnancy and childbirth, she earned the money while the loser his father sat back.
All for the sake of this miracle, destined to become the best man of her life! It will protect my miracle, my son, because in him, as in the egg, the needle on the end of which her life. Her future life, her old age.
He needs to make her future life happy, because it is a man doing a woman's life happy. He satisfies her wishes, protect her from danger. Husband this is not right, look for someone else is an impossible task. And this little here it is, it all can be trained. And with this task she would kill it. All in her hands.
He looks at her with your eyes waiting for love she will give him. Not just, of course, but for the fact that it would be right to do what she expects from him, and demands. This is right education, to encourage the proper actions. And love in this world it just does not come. She at least for sure just did not give. And now she will not give, and he therefore does not receive.
And he soon learns a sense of pride and satisfaction when it becomes a little man next to my mother. With a woman, the importance of which is equal to the universe. He won't survive without her love, and if you need to be an adult, to read her wishes, to put your feelings aside, to endure discomfort, he agreed. It's not such a high price in comparison with life.
Life goes on and the price increases, only nobody warned. On the contrary, more and more people around him need support, which he hastens to provide. Because it is in these moments straightens his back, and his nature all-pervading sense of pride and strength. It's the moment of truth. Either that, or death.
And the chiropractor said that he had some kind of armour that clenched my spine and it would be nice to a psychologist to figure out what kind of burden he carries on his shoulders. Isn't that what men wear severity? Just need to relax a bit, and it is better to pump up the muscles, so your back doesn't hurt. Still, though, the heart began to play tricks, but this is nonsense. Will rest a couple of days and it will pass.
Most of these boys will not live to see 50. The resource will end. Sometimes, in moments of despair, they will catch themselves on the fact that of feelings for the mother were only quiet hatred, exploding in uncontrollable thoughts or feelings. Immediately followed by guilt and anger at myself, this ungrateful. There are so many poor in need of support, children, women, old people. Does it have any right to pity? And it's so embarrassing when you regret.
Those we love and those who hate it, are our mirrors ofthe Soul does not think – she knows
He will die quickly, so as not to burden others. Sometimes before mom. And just before it should. A lot of people at his funeral will sincerely regret that passed away a good man. Anybody in a head will not come that life-then no it was not.
He never found out, he not learned to rejoice. His only joy is when he was doing well otherwise. Is death the result of exhaustion from the constant, incessant violence domestic mom who was an exact copy of his real mother... posted
Author: Alla Dalit
Source: alladalit.livejournal.com/3954.html
