Exit the comfort zone as a condition of personality development

In life we constantly encounter situations when you need to change something or even just to do something unusual and new, but the fear of the unknown often prevents us from acting. Our inner voice begins to convince us that it's not so bad, but who knows, will it be good if we start to change my life. There are internal boundaries within which we feel safe only because there we were all familiar and habitual. These internal frames make us hold on to relationships that have outlived their usefulness, for work that brings us satisfaction and, even for a habitual way of thinking. These internal frame and form our comfort zone.

© Ben Goossens

Comfort zone – the area of the living space, providing comfort and security. Typically, the comfort zone is determined by habitual patterns of behavior, accustomed to, and comfortable. Established a world where everything is familiar, stable and predictable.

Simply put, it is a condition in which you feel "at ease". It would seem that bad in comfort and security? Nothing, except that they greatly impede the development and exploration of the new.

Any learning and training linked with going beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone.

Outside the comfort zone is the risk zone. A reasonable way outside of the comfort zone into the risk zone – a necessary condition for the development of the individual.

As a rule, the younger the person, the easier and more likely it expands the comfort zone. When a healthy person lingers in the comfort zone and makes no effort to get out of that zone and expand its boundaries, its development stops, turning to the degradation of the individual.

This wording very clearly gives us to feel the inevitability of boundaries, if we are interested in their own development.

To begin to understand how exactly we can understand that stuck in the comfort zone. This can be understood by its reaction to any new situation with which we are faced, or even thought about it. The first reaction is likely fear. I want to emphasize that the reaction to the new may be completely different (excitement, curiosity, interest, anxiety), but that fear is a destructive feeling and indication that to get out of the comfort zone is not desirable. Further, based on this fear, stuck in the comfort zone can choose several options of behavior: "run and hide", to ignore, to protest, resist and try to prevent change, while the path leading to the expansion of your comfort zone, implies acceptance and adaptation.

Osoznannaya an important condition for exiting the comfort zone can be considered a realization that we got into it. Without admitting that we are stuck in the comfort zone, we can't move forward. It is very important to accept the idea that we're stuck here and we need to move beyond the current situation, defining an area of comfort zone. It is our job, our business settled, but not satisfied in our relationship, the city, the apartment where we live – all this can be our comfort zone that we have not satisfied, but we are afraid of change and do nothing to change your life.

Bear in close kletki a small zoo, a bear kept in a small cage so that he could only do 4 steps one way, turn and make 4 steps back. And he walked all day around the cage back and forth. Visitors pitied the bear and said, "As probably he would have been happy if he managed to be free". As time went on, the zoo began to repair, and all animals made large spacious enclosures. They had a lot of greenery, and the paddock at the bear even the pool. The zoo was looking forward to how happy will be a huge beast when it moved from cramped cages in a spacious aviary. And here is the long awaited day has come. The bear was overtaken in a tiny cage for the carriage and drove to the new location. Even being in the transport cage, the bear managed to do their mandatory 4 steps back and forth. He was finally released into a new spacious enclosure. The bear looked around, gently took a step, another, third, fourth... And then turned again and made 4 steps back. He was not able to understand that now the bars of the cage that restricted his freedom, exist only in his imagination. But these sticks in the memory of the beast was stronger than the real thing. So the bear is still walking around in a huge cage: 4 steps back and 4 steps back.

That's why is so important the realization of the fact that the boundaries exist.

Realizing that we were stuck in the comfort zone, you need to act.

The program of action to get out of the comfort zone in our work we divided into five steps and designated by their abbreviation of ZORRO.

ЗОРРО1. Task. The first step to overcome the internal borders will be a Problem. That is, we decide where we want to be, what result you want to achieve.

Suppose we realized that we're uncomfortable or scared to meet new people. Accordingly, our task will be to learn as much as possible and more often in order to make this process familiar, and hence comfortable.

2. ORM. The next stage is the formulation of planned results. The amount of the planned result (ORM) — the specifics, how much and what by a certain date I plan to get the results of the work on the exercise Distance or other commitments, work. As a rule, numbers, facts, or expert evaluation. The formulation of ozr contributes to a more precise and productive performance of work (including work), give the criteria of the exercise and the answer to the question: "How do I know that exercise done?". (ORM) and prescribing specific steps to achieve it.

How do we know that has expanded your comfort zone? It is clear that the criterion will be calm when meeting people, but this condition is not amenable to "weigh-in". Therefore, the ORM we define in our case, as a specific number of acquaintances in the past month working to get out of the comfort zone. And outline how a specific number of people we expect to include in the plan for each day. It should be noted that it is necessary to gradually increase their number in reasonable boundaries. Will the planned number Dating to a comfortable state? Even if not completely, in any case, the progress is obvious.

The main trick in this case is that switching the focus from the state on a specific work out of the comfort zone, we will have the desired state. The state of comfort does not come by itself, it requires specific work. She's going to do.

3. Work. The work involves the systematic passage of the planned steps. We have planned specific actions for each day, and now our task to fulfil them. The best would be to write daily progress reports, analyzing the results and progress.

4. Work. The repetition of the paragraph is not just justifying the double RR in the acronym.

We would like to emphasize two aspects.

Firstly, the fact that the Work is the main thing that is required to extend the comfort zone and, accordingly, most of the time we pay for it.

Secondly, the fact that this Work must be carried out consistently and increasing the volume should be gradual. And this is very important.

The problem with leaving the comfort zone is that people will often try to immediately jump to the level they want to achieve. In some people this may work, but for most, such an attempt would only force them to stay in their comfort zone, even just due to anxiety resulting from attempts to "bite off more than you can chew". It gradual development and strengthening could lead to the adaptation of new areas. And you need to understand that the passage of the stages will take some time. It is impossible to instantly settle in the new expanded area. We remember that making new habits takes 21 days. In fact, the development of new habits — it is also an extension of the comfort zone.

If we don't make sure that we feel comfortable with increasing the volume, we have the risk to undo all our work. So every stage and every step at this stage should be comfortable.

5. Development. Finally, the fifth step is the full Development of the new territory. The achievement of the ORM. This is actually our new comfort zone.

Exercise"My fear of something usually means that I have to do it" — Madonna.

In addition, to expand the comfort zone in a particular area in which we have realized the need for this, we consider it very important to develop the habit of going out of comfort zone in any situation. It is necessary to learn to remove fear when meeting new. We offer "simulators" to develop this habit.

Change the usual stuff. You can try to go to work the other way, to change the usual daily routine or go to the wrong store, which is on the way, and in the other the street, buy unusual foods.

Meet with anyone. This is a very good way to get out of your comfort zone. No matter where and how, most importantly, that the person was new to you.

Find courses or training clubs you are interested in, but for some reason (and we already know) have abandoned the idea to go there.

Learn that once wanted to be able to. To play the balalaika, to make sushi rolls, cross stitching – all great equipment for the expansion of the comfort zone.

Read a book, watch a movie or listen to music in unusual genre. Like rock, listen to jazz. Love romance, view Thriller. Love the prose, read poetry.

Embark on an unplanned trip. Don't force anything, solve everything on the go. Will be able to get a lot of impressions and sure to expand your comfort zone.

Go to a new strange place. In an unfamiliar restaurant and better unknown before meals.

Wear something unusual. If you are a girl, not used to wearing dresses, buy and wear. Unusual colors, styles and new brands are also in our box of equipment. If you're the guy who just walked around in t-shirts and jeans, wear something classic (nice shoes, expensive pants, stylish light jacket with a bright tie or scarf). Well, at least wear a shirt instead t-shirt — it's good for starters.

Move the furniture. Take a look at your room with fresh eyes and try to arrange at least a small permutation.

Sit in a bus with an unknown route number.

Make a list of situations simulators.

In conclusion, a great metaphor from Gennady Pavlenko, completely illustrating our behavior, when we cling to your comfort zone or in this case, the usual perception of the world.

"Imagine that you are in the tank. Go forward through life, watching everything that happens in the narrow observation slit. The fact that you are a tanker, already suggests that life for you — war. While in the gap it shows that people walk around. Just go. Do not fight. Fall in love, fight, work, be lazy, relax, read... As a tank, do these people look? As fools, right? But if a sniper from the roof? Or infantry in the attack? What will they do in their shirt colors painted?! Therefore, it is better in the tank. Yes, it's hot. Yes, the shakes. Yes, a bit crowded, but no sniper can't reach you! And the fact that they are not, so it is only a matter of time. A time, incidentally, passes, and tank ends his life, and not having it start. Really? some, at the end of life, when he has nothing to lose, Luke still have the courage to look out, but since the time is still there, go back to your tank. There accustomed to...


Source: /users/1077


See also

New and interesting