Supercopy test and a toxic relationship in your life Bashny.Net

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Interesting read about the famous "sehirkoy test" (marshmallow test). This is a classic study of Walter Michelle, during which the experimenter asked children the marshmallow (the us such similar to a cotton ball; but he still cuuuuuute!). The child was the condition. you can either eat the marshmallow now, or wait until the adult returns (in 20 minutes), and then he will give you another one.

This experiment has been repeated many times and it made a lot of videos of how the research took place (see below). On video it is visible that the kids are a hilarious treat candy: someone smells, someone to touch, someone will shift. So, the winning strategy was the one and only the experimenter with the untouched candy on a plate waited only those children who DISTRACTED themselves. Notice at 0:53 of the first live child carefully looking past, and even sings a song. Girl (3:40 second video) pushes away his plate away, and then, not satisfied, moves still. Children sing songs, play with hands, sitting in poltronova condition and even climb under the table so insidious sweetness not attacked them and climbed into the mouth itself. The boy in the green shirt in the first video carefully examines not his, but old Phoebe's candy, gives the girl advice, and even can be obnoxious (and that is also a distraction!). Those same kids who are focused on candy, joined with her in the interaction, examined, touched, sniffed and licked – eventually gave up and absorbed it, sometimes mymodule, as if unconsciously.

What conclusion? Yes, simple. Willpower, of course, a good thing. But obviously simple, intuitive and effective solution: do NOT CAPRICASIX WHAT YOU don'T WANT to HAVE IN MY LIFE – and it has much less chances to hit. Don't keep sweets around the house when losing weight, don't go meet your ex, which has decided to break up (but terribly drawn), do not look at Windows, when money is tight... Well, you understand. Cap to help you.

I read on the psychological resources forums and stories like: "My husband hurts me and even beats (more is a story of relationships, often long and complicated). WHY IS IT SO?". I want to answer: WHY do YOU KNOW THIS? When you are trying to understand exactly how to construct toxic behaviour of the adult partner, you "focus on the candy". And it will come into your life, will come. You know that to be a beaten wife is not the purpose of your life, you don't want such a relationship. But the study of cycles on unhealthy, broken relationship is to build healthy. Instead of trying to get away from the damn unnecessary confetii, which, of course, beckons, but about which you decided that in your life to let her in, won't you stare at, sniff and lick.

Somehow, many people believe that when they spend more time on researching what they want out of your life, then this is something to help. When I asked the question: why? Why should you? I replied: well, I understand how it works! And then I change everything!!! And partner re, and relationship fix…
Here are several errors at once. First, again, you are spending your time, concentrating on candy (unhealthy relationships, for example, domestic abuser). And the candy is firmly comes into your life, takes root, becomes a habit and stays with you a long time. And it basically broken strategy.

Secondly, it is not the fact that even if you understand how it works, something in your life that you can arbitrarily change. Aspen still will not grow up oranges. An alcoholic will drink until he decides to quit. Home abuser will be dangerous and toxic in communication, until he decides to change (which is unlikely). The relationship can only go. But the indefatigable "the researchers relations" usually I try to study toxic partner, to understand why and how he came to such a life, attach to it all available psychological (esoteric, astrological, etc.) of the theory, and then try to re-educate to the last. That is, persistently waiting on aspen zakolositsya has oranges. The idea of "I could just not communicate with him as long as he remains so toxic" – is not considered. Partner needs to be reborn in what I want and that's all. Marshmallow, become the Apple!!!).

Not the way it works. Like the old joke: "Say no to drugs! – Enough even to talk with the drugs!!!". You don't talk drugs, that's what. Do not.

 

Author: Elizabeth Pavlova

published 

Source: psyholog-in-web.ru/2015/02/09/zefirkovy-test/