Let's talk about the origins of psychological vampirism.
I was able to find three:1."Original sin".2.The myths of modern life.3.Cases.
They are not recognized personality, and the necessary action is not taken.1."Original sin"
The word "stress" has long ceased to belong to the science. "I am stressed", "I'm stressed", "can not come out from stress." So or so we say at the reception neurotic patients.
Neurosis — the most common psychological disorder that occurs after psychological trauma, which disrupts important relationships and lead to the emergence of a variety of psychopathological symptoms, as well as numerous somatic and vegetative disorders.
The definition of Professor B. D. Karasartova could not be better reflects the essence. Indeed, the neurosis occurs after psychological trauma (stress). Most often trauma patients consider troubles that happen with them in the process of communication in the family or at work. And source of stress from their point of view, is the chief or subordinates, spouse (s), children, mother-in-law or mother-in-law.
Maybe this is not so, but in this case, the patients even know that they had psychological trauma, and go for treatment to a professional. But in some cases the patient is not aware that he had psychological trauma.
And since anxiety often debuts somatic and vegetative symptoms, most patients of this group treated by the specialists of the somatic structure (physicians, surgeons, gynecologists, oculists, endocrinologists, etc. Where not only meet our patients!) sometimes for several years.
Often it comes to serious somatic diseases and neurotic nature of suffering is completely hidden by a massive somatic pathology.
So, in my monograph "Neuroses" (1993) explained in detail about the patient that was disabled by asthma, but when we found out that the true nature of the disease is associated with neurosis, asthma attacks have been arrested.
And this example will be described in detail.
To me on reception the man came 37 years strong physique with complaints of attacks of pain in the heart. Cardiac agents and tranquilizers calmed for a while, but in the interictal period he was troubled with fear, that with heart something happens and he suddenly dies. He was afraid to stay home all the time were the drugs repeatedly treated in hospitals of somatic profile. Minor ECG changes did not explain the severity of the disease, and he was sent to reception to me.
The story he first told me and had previously told other doctors, this was... Five years ago, he was out in the sun, arose sympathoadrenal paroxysms, with pain in the heart, high blood pressure and fear of death. The attack has been stoped drug brigade "first aid", but since appeared the above symptoms. He began walking to the doctors. Where's the trauma? Neither the doctors nor the patient did not realize it. Because the ECG was change! Once the patient is told about himself in some detail, everything fell into place.
Patient 32 years old was a professional athlete, a rower. Was several times European champion. Institute is not finished, threw. Distinguished rogue character. When he set records, he was believed, and when he left big-time sports, it "paid off" is employed for the preparation of boats for the competition. Now he looked from konopielko boats, and from sportsmen over whom he previously abused and who now occupied a key place in the team.
And the wife began to complain that his current salary is not live. Here it is, this is the psychological trauma! Was everything and became nothing. How not to get sick! Because the disease "solves" all the problems at once. Instead of cheering fans — hassle doctors go to work is not necessary — get rid of bullying of colleagues, wife and we stopped talking about a small salary.
And "promotion" at the service! At first he was treated "lieutenants" — the doctors clinic, and "captains and majors" — heads of departments. Now it came to the "Colonel" — the chief specialist of the field. And if he does not help, then the patient can be "promoted to General" — go for a consultation to Moscow.
Ill quite quickly understood the essence of his condition. He recovered at the Institute and found an interesting case. The disease does not remain neither time, nor energy. So usually the therapist works within the framework of person-oriented methodologies.
But here I would like to answer the question: why such patients are in conflict relations with partners in dialogue, because if I can answer it, then maybe there will be no other issues.
That person catches a cold, is not guilty of the cold and the wind, and his nasakennedy, i.e. reason is in itself! Itself, and should be changed. Similarly, in the conflict. It is not the partner, but in me. The analysis of many cases shows that sources of stress are in man. About it we will talk.
The main source of stress "original sin". Remember, God forbade Adam and eve to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And threatened them with death if they violate this Covenant. But "... the serpent said unto the woman ye shall not surely die; for God doth know that in the day that you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil".
In this article to dwell on this will not see a separate article on "original sin". And we will continue.2. The myths of modern life
Here are some common phrases that I regularly hear in my office: "He brought me to such a life that I always are in stress!", "If she's at least a little I understand, really I would be so stressed?", "I have all the time in stress! The neighbor almost always plays loud music. You can neither concentrate nor sleep.", "How can you not to drink, and to succeed in life, to be good, not to hurt when I have such children?", "If I didn't have a mother-in-law, I would not drink". Who is more guilty that I'm stressed? Husband, wife, mother-in-law, mother-in-law, children, bosses, subordinates, colleagues, teachers, students, doctors, patients, poor education, poor transport, impossible social conditions, inflation, betrayal of friends, frost, heat, ambrosia...
And we don't realize that in the maelstrom of disease and wretchedness, life disaster, prison and the grave we are the legends and myths of modern life. We accept them as the guide to action, and they guide us on the path that leads to the abyss or transparent stalled, which shows a happy life. Even when he reached the precipice, we do not turn from this path and fall into it, and going to a dead end, continue like flies banging on the glass, while the true path is somewhere near. You just need to look for it.
I live on the 14th floor. The shortest way into the world of light through the window. If I go this route, you will experience an unforgettable feeling of flight, but then none of the friends will not be able to talk about it. Or tell me many years later, when they go to the other world, unless, of course, will go to hell. And I'm looking for the right path, which is usually circuitous. It's the Law: any direct actions give the opposite result. The tree shades the garden. I have cut it. Once it became light, but in a year or two, if I did not remove roots, it has become even more branching. A person has a sore head. I was prescribed pain medication. For some time the pain stopped. But the tumor that was causing headaches at this time continued to grow.
In a separate article on this subject, I want to give a brief overview of those myths that are frequently encountered in clinical practice and which accompany us through life, from birth to death. They make us miserable, and then we're trying to keep our children lived in accordance with these myths, do unhappy their children. Merging into one with the correct views, number of myths constantly increasing... read More on the link below.
Read the article "Myths of modern life" And we move on to the third source:3. Cases
As a kid I was jealous of Koschei the Immortal for two reasons. First, he was skinny and I was teased for my weight; secondly, he was immortal, and I die not like. Now I do not envy you. Began to exercise regularly and lost weight. And immortality itself provided: I have children and grandchildren; I have also written several books that many people like, and some benefited. And the warlock did, and the memory of it remained thin, as a model of cruelty and deceit. In addition, the psychological analysis shows that the inner life of Kashchei the Immortal was full of trials and troubles he had, because there were many enemies. But the most serious was that he had to worry about his Death.
He put him, as you remember, on the tip of the needle, the needle in egg, egg in a duck, a duck in a hare, hare in the chest, the chest on top of a large oak, which grew on the inaccessible for a human grief, but death still has not escaped. Here tried friends of Ivan, which at one time he saved from death. The bear swung oak, the trunk fell and broke. The hare caught up and ripped the Fox off from his duck was destroyed by Drake, and dropped in the sea egg brought to Prince Ivan fish. He can only break the egg and break off the tip of the needle, and the unsuspecting warlock, busy with all other things, died in terrible agony.
What was on the tip of the needle? In the tale it is said that Death. But according to the beliefs of our ancestors death occurs when the soul departs from the body (from its store). Therefore, it can be argued that the tip of the needle was placed the soul of Koschei the Immortal.
I have already written what tales are loved not only children but also adults, and not for the interest of the plot, and for the emotional truth which it contains. And this truth is that in real life there are characters in the fairy tales. Identifying them can be difficult, because Baba Yaga may be a comely young woman, and Kashchei the Immortal — plump gentleman. Moreover, Baba Yaga may be a man, and Kashchei the Immortal — a woman.
So, Caseys met me very often, and looked very noble. In many ways the speakers were decent people. To identify the Koschei the Immortal is very simple. Ask the person the question, for whom or for what he lives. I examined more than 10 000 people and found that only 8% live for themselves, i.e. kawasma them. The rest live primarily for the sake of the children (53%), parents (23%), business (10%), husband or wife (5%), in 1% of cases called other causes. Thus, 92% were psychological Kaschei the Immortal, i.e., they live, and violating the Laws of life, and the Laws of God (especially the commandment "do Not make yourself an idol").
What are the chances of happiness for these people?
Suppose a person lives for parents. It is easy to figure out what it is waiting for a tragedy, because the Laws of life parents leave this life before children. And a man live quietly may not.
One of my patients is so loved my father and admired him that she was having difficulties in choosing a life partner, then developed OCD with fear of death. It was worsened when the father was away on business trips. And he was a big businessman and the nature of their activities was quite often away from home. Due to the illness of the daughter he had to cancel some trips and carry substantial losses.
One of my patient was the mother cult. "Mother first", "Mom should not worry", "What will mom say?" etc. Every day at ten o'clock in the evening he called her, so she's not worried and reported that he had already arrived home. Mother was used to these calls and if the call was not sent an urgent telegram (they lived in different cities). It is easy to understand that she was the Koschei the Immortal. Sometimes the house phone was not working and he had to go to the other end of the city on long-distance telephone, to inform mother that you arrived safely home. Ridiculous! He was a good inventor, and has put forward an interesting idea. Created a promising group. We had to stay in the factory to work at night, and sometimes stay the night. Long-distance communication in the shop where they worked, was not. He was forced to return home by ten o'clock. Soon he was expelled from the group. And after a while, for this invention, the whole group received the State prize. It's hard not to get sick in this situation! By the way, the first wife left him.
No better and those who live for the sake of the children. It's simple to understand that, in accordance with the Laws of life, children sooner or later leave parents, and the man who lives for the sake of the children, waiting for a tragic fate. Life itself gives him great pleasure, and children a hard time. A typical Warlock is a Caring Mother. After all, her soul in the child, and she, taking care of his soul, wraps it, not allowed to go far from home, grow in greenhouse conditions. The older the child, the more evident becomes its inability to life, and the number of alarms of a Caring Mother growing. Such mother came up with the proverb: "Small children do not give sleep and large do not give to live". In fact, it's Kashchei the Immortal do not give to live the children and at the same time claim that you live for children.
Give you one short example of gameism.
I was treated one teenager. Was it a pretty severe neurosis. We found out that one of the reasons for his rather strict mother's custody. At our clinic in terms netessine desires he quickly came out of painful conditions. I gave the mother Board to rely more on their child. After all, if she's smart, and he's smart, it's her son! Of course, she followed my advice, and two weeks later the disease returned.
If a person lives for the sake of the husband (wife) is little better, but it's too unreliable a basis for life. Stains we have common, and to the light at the same time rarely go. I many have to go into the family business. Cases especially noticeable in the divorce process. Then it becomes clear that already in the time of the birth of the family Kashchei put soul in a spouse. Often the wife lives for her husband, raising it, bringing it to the necessary "condition". When he "grows up", of course, he leaves her, taking unwittingly her soul. Here is one of the typical statements of the warlock: "I (her) love. I without him (her) can not live". Sometimes Koschei makes blackmailing statements or attempts to commit suicide. In fact, the Warlock doesn't care about the partner. He was not interested in what it's like to live with him. And to live with him hard, because he is without a soul.
According to my patient, twenty years they lived with her husband in perfect harmony. She, the pianist, creative personality, believed that he favored the husband, "rough soldier", marrying him, putting him in his heart and soul, obsesiva this "dork" creating the appropriate image. Because of this he was able to reach high ranks and good material prosperity. She admitted that riding "in clover". Periodically she would put her husband scene. It so happened that he met a woman with whom he had business relations. She began to take care of him. Bought him small gifts: a shirt, tie, cufflinks. To him it was strange and nice, for the care of himself he had never seen, but he often said how lucky he was with such a bright wife. When he put the question of divorce, the wife stated that she can not live and will commit suicide.
So what's the solution? For the sake of whom to live? Listen To A. S. Pushkin:
Who to love? Whom to believe?
Who will not change us one?
Who are all business, all the talk of merit
Helpful to our yard?
Who slander about us not sow?
Who lovingly nurtures us?
Who Vice not our problem?
Who will never bore you?
Ghost vain seeker
Labors in vain not ruining,
My honourable reader!
The subject is worthy: nothing
Kindly, right, is not it.
For those who have the soul is not there, ie not with him, I advise you to return her to him, love yourself and live for yourself. This will benefit and others. published
Author Mikhail Litvak.