Continuing the theme of vampirism begun in the article the Origins of psychological vampirism - reveal the mechanisms of psychological vampirism.In order to understand how the transfer of psychological energy, consider another option of transactions — secure transactions.
First their appearance — angular transaction (Fig. 1).
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And again, let's use a classic example, Eric Berne.
The seller tells the purchaser: "This thing better, but too expensive!".
The buyer responds: "No, that's exactly what I need! Wrap!".
And becomes, maybe, a good thing, but the financial loss makes it impossible to enjoy the purchase. For rice. 1 shows what happens.
On the conscious level at line b — b In the seller reports two important facts: a good thing and is expensive. But the unconscious (psychological) level to line d — D seller provokes the buyer to purchase.
Provocation this can be summarized as follows: "Nothing without money to go on expensive shopping!".
The correct answer from the position of an Adult would be this: "You are right in both cases." But provoked by an Adult Child of the seller of the buyer makes him a grown-up to make unnecessary purchase. Mood hopelessly flawed. In addition, deflated and money. The initiative is like an Adult, but the outcome of the communication depends on the decision of the Child.
The second kind of hidden transaction double transaction (Fig. 2).
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Imagine two young people who have a long walk through the Park on a cold day.
Passing by his house, the young man says to the companion: "I live here alone. Not to come to me to drink tea?".
She responds: "Yes, good idea! I'm very chill and fun and drinking tea!".
And here at the conscious level, the conversation goes along the line V — V. But on a psychological level along the line d — D the conversation goes: "I like You!— Me too!".
The initiative is like an Adult, but the outcome of the communication depends on the decision of the Child. Possible conflict! And here's why: his Child will seek sex, and her parents oppose it. The transaction will be crossed.
Quite often we ourselves don't see, communicate at the level of the hidden transaction, dealing each other "psychological blows".
Here is a typical example of our daily life. The Rapporteur gave a presentation in which he summed up his many years of work. His opponent stands up and says, possibly even polite tone: "I totally disagree with you, and here's why...". The Rapporteur is responsible about the following: "You just do not understand me. Literally, I chewed that...".
Let the light of the above, let us examine what this means on a psychological level. It is easy to guess that the phrase "I disagree with you" means "you Fool! Worked so long and nothing good came up!". Speaker, unfortunately, too psychological snapper, because the phrase "You did not understand me" means "you Fool! I've been chewed obvious that they would understand even a child."
Now you read this book and something in it is not understood. Who is to blame: you or I? Of course, I am! I'll take responsibility. This is a more productive approach than trying to blame the partner.
Now let's jump forward a little and look like a vampire Helpless Personality through play "Why don't you?...""Yes, but..."drains mental energy from their donors (Fig. 3).
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Helpless Person "consults" with their donors about upcoming repairs. Line — In is a request for information. On the unconscious (psychological) level, the Child vampire flirts with a Parent of the donor, sucking the energy out of it. Can't be, so she contacted the housing office, co-op, not talking with her husband! Therefore, on the line Dr is a provocation to get "strokes" from donors. They wasted spend their energy. And in order to Supplement the Parent's energy, donors have to take it from his Child. And when the Child is emptied, then, of course, there is a feeling of irritation. After all, our Child is our feelings. And feelings are closely connected with the activity of internal organs, and here is close to the disease. Fans to give advice, donors get sick and go to the doctor. They act as vampires, asking the doctor give them advice on how to recover. Radical method — to get out of the game "Why don't you?...""Yes, but...".
Often, however, the doctor they are getting the medication that they to help. Donors continue to advise. Disease worsen, become chronic. Donor-the psychological vampire sucking the juice out of the doctor. Ill doctor turns for help to another doctor... well, the circle is closed!
How do we break free? To teach the donor not to give advice, and to go about their business. You already understand that a vampire is emotionally immature personality, sort of "psychological child". And not to be jealous of him. He wins tactically, but strategically losing. The donor, previously, suffered from the vampire earlier you seek help, the earlier we develop protection from vampirism and become obsolete before the signs of vampirism.
Why I'm on this so dwell? The fact that patients, having psychological training and applying the techniques of psychological Aikido on their vampires (and it's often similar people), indicate that these techniques are vampires getting worse. But when people ask for help? When he is well or when he's sick? Think about your loved ones well. They will become bad and they will come to us for help. And we will also help you.
Here is one example.
Girl, 16, whose mother is overly protective psychological sucked all the juices, came to us for help. Psychologically competent answers daughter brought her in a rage. And the phrase, "Mom, you need to get married and not to me to make trouble" (This she said to her after class, stating that the scandal is a perverted form of sexual intercourse. — M. L.) led her into a rage. She came to me to "tear apart", but very quickly figured out what was the matter, remained in the classroom, and were still married. Maybe my reasoning will help them to be solid.
After all, in the words of Seneca, "who wants to subdue the circumstances, must subordinate themselves to reason."
Psychological vampirism is celebrated in family, employment, love and other respects. Vampire can be found on the holiday train, by public meetings, etc. In different places the same vampire takes many forms. It can spoil the mood of the head, to deceive the innocent, to betray the benefactor.
Some vampires are described in great detail, the other said briefly. This is due to their importance.