To overcome aggression in yourself — 10 simple rules


Small household irritability is a normal human reaction to working moments of life. Recently, this problem existed only within family and close circle.

In recent decades the situation has changed dramatically. We are increasingly included in strong and rapidly changing world and can not remain indifferent not only to the bad behavior of neighbors or relatives, but also to the hot conflicts of world scale, environmental and economic issues, and much more.

In these circumstances, anger and aggression can become a part of life, if time does not learn to separate the essential from the inessential,. Plunging into the complexity of all the thoughts, we may not notice as you turn into the tram boors, nervous colleagues and quarrelsome relatives. Although just yesterday, disrespected and condemned such behavior.

Mistake one can make in the beginning, succumbing to the belief that since the world is turbulent and dynamic, to cope with this unreal and will have to live like this. There are people who seriously believe that such a quality there is a need to develop in order to survive mentally. However, the opening is in the other direction — down!

How to check yourself Patience and tolerance, on the one hand, are promoted in our society, though at times it looks more like weak attempts to come to terms with reality. But the desire to respond to everything that hurts, there can be realized in social networks, where it is still difficult to control the abuse. But it is silly to shift responsibility for their feelings on the moderators of online publications. The question is, how often do you find in the world a threat to yourself and how well you treat it.

Test yourself on multiple counts and think whether to you the following reasons for anger:

1. When faced with situations of injustice to others, you feel their own resentment and blame for what is happening.

2. You have a tendency to criticize others and to guide them on the right path. We need to understand what is your purpose — to change the person, to take revenge or to defend myself.

3. You do things and say something you later regret.

4. Your irritability affect your health — headaches, fatigue, insomnia.

5. Your mood changes from those situations that do not directly affect your life.

All of these symptoms can indicate that your life is too much excess negative emotions and should deal with this in more detail.

What to do to reduce the level агрессии1. To Express anger acceptable forms. Most often we can't control the way of expressing anger, emotion and actually has every right to exist. It is important not to confuse the ban on the crudeness with the ban on the feeling itself. It is known that to suppress the outbreak is already the aggression is more harmful than releasing it outside. Try to formulate your claim and politely to explain it.

2. Not to dump on your opponent everything you've been silent (even if the reason is not one). Discuss only the occasion that excites you in the moment. There are cases when we and our loved ones fell under the distribution received, not only for themselves but for the country, the government and the international situation.

3. Try not to dig deep. Our imaginations lead us in such a jungle of false cause and effect, from which escape then you have more than one year. You have pushed the passer didn't mean to offend you — he's in a hurry, the husband, showed coldness, not over, and just tired. Stop reasoning on simple insights, especially that most likely it is.

4. To determine your need. Our anger is an indicator. Why did you get involved in conversations about politics? Crave for, want to attract attention, looking for the application of intelligence? Knowing the main motive, implement it and have fun, not focusing on annoying things.

5. To report their concerns. If the problem recurs, and outbursts you cannot control, ask for help. To tell their families about their feelings and to expect that they can take into account — quite naturally. So you can see what's around you — not the enemy.

6. To empathize with. It's aerobatics, but you can try. What annoys you most likely, and another person caused the alarm. Sometimes we fight simply because are in the same emotional field, and we have nothing to share. Sympathizing with another, we can see that the reason is not the reaction.

7. To feel their credibility. In most cases, we are disadvantaged at the time of anger, not realizing its significance. But in fact it is not going away and it remains only to show. It is important to remember that you — the person confident and not panic over nothing.

8. Do not look for reasons and blame. In General, angry and nervous — normally, if you do not begin to go into debriefing, search responsible for everything in this world and frustration that the world is imperfect. Nervous and stop.

9. Find the meaning of life. Sounds fabulous, but works quite efficiently. To stay afloat and not sink with each incoming wave helps understanding of the value of its existence. When you are in a hurry to meet a joyful event (meeting with the beloved, home to the children, exciting language courses), will you slow down due to petty quarrels, or bad weather? Unlikely.

10. To forget. This mechanism fails if there is a desire to cheat themselves and to suffer. But you must admit that in this case, a bad memory even worth to train. A negative scenario will no longer pull you deeper into experiences, if you do not remember how offended you yesterday or half an hour ago. published




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