Myths affect us, since they rarely understood by us, are rarely discussed aloud, and even more rarely analyzed from the point of view of its usefulness. Thus, myths become "unwritten" rules our communication and invisibly control our mood and behavior, and we may not be aware of their presence.
Myth 1. "Love happens only once in a lifetime"
The danger of this myth that people can remain single for life. What if your only true love will be unrequited? You will never allow yourself to love and be happy, even if next to you will be worthy of the love of a man?
Another thing is how we cherish the mutual love and relationship that we have now.
Myth 2. "Lovers have sentences to capture the mood of each other and perfectly with each other to understand"
The danger of this myth is that when a person is convinced that partner, if he likes, he needs to catch all his desires, he:
Does not speak to the partner directly that he wants something (after all, there's no need for another he understands);
Waiting for a partner not just a guess, and will certainly fulfill his desire;
If not, then the partner is to blame, not only is that not the wish, but also that did not understand what was expected of him;
And a few such situations, people begin to believe that if a partner does not understand his sentences, so he just doesn't like – so everything is very logical!
In fact, here often need just objective information that is impossible to guess what the partner wants for Breakfast today, as he wants to spend the evening, as it relates to the music you listen to, etc. Especially in the beginning of relationships these questions should be a lot, and just love or love can't answer them – it is necessary to ask and to negotiate.
Myth 3. Male myth: "to deserve love, I must be fully secured financially, and then I'm an interesting woman"
This myth bears the following hidden assumptions:
A man convinced that all women are materialistic and want to spend a lot of money.
Love must be earned, it cannot be unbiased love of the common man with its own advantages and disadvantages.
A man with such belief may think that if he provides for wife she needs to forgive him for everything else (for example, the poor quality of their relationship).
In addition, if a person believes that his love for money, he will impose very stringent criteria of his love (beauty lady, thrift, resignation).
Thus, such personal relationships develop in the market.
Myth 4. Similar to the female myth: "If I'm not pretty enough (slim, fashionably dressed, etc), then I don't deserve love"
Hidden assumptions are the following:
All men appreciate in women only beauty;
If a woman is beauty, she is a valuable prize for men;
Internal quality women don't matter (so she can afford to be cold, to grow personally, etc.);
To be with this woman a man must pay a high price (money, care, grooming);
If a woman feels beautiful, she does not understand how someone not to like.
Any bad changes in appearance to be a disaster, because the only advantage is lost.
Myth 5. "Love cannot last a lifetime"
The assumption of this myth is the following:
Love should go away with time (if it does not go away is not normal!).
No matter how hard both partners, their feelings they still have no control over.
Therefore, even if the first argument anyone can give up, deciding that love was over.
Such representations greatly complicates our lives and relationships. However, in our power to fix it, because it is we ourselves once they believe themselves capable of changing their beliefs. For this we need to begin to ask yourself questions, pooping your relationship with your partner: is it really so? Is there any other explanation for this? And also to ask your partner about his thoughts and feelings, instead of trying to guess and start sharing your. This is especially important to do early in the relationship or family life, when we still know very little about each other. published